Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Tuesday Treacle

Gil's Gone Wild!
Gilbert Arenas finally brought his hit parade home yesterday with a 51-point outburst at the Verizon Center, including a three-pointer at the buzzer for a 114-111 win over the Utah Jazz. It was Arenas' third 50+ game this season but his first on the Wizards' homecourt and it ties the arena scoring record set by Michael Jordan in 2001. I am starting to get the feeling that iyou'd feel cheated if you bought a ticket to see Arenas play and he scored less than 40. And I can't believe that the Verizon Center is not sold out every game .

Tomlinson's Tantrum
So LaDainian Tomlinson says that the Patriots showed no class when they imitated Shawne Merriman's sack dance on the Chargers' midfield logo at the end of Sunday's playoff game? Really? Would he have preferred that they come up with their own original choreography? Was that really a story on SportsCenter or did I accidently switch over to "Bring it On" on the USA Network? I just can't believe that a professional football player, who just had one of the best seasons in the history of the game, cares about the dancing that much. I guess we'll be seeing Tomlinson, Merriman and Emmett Smith in "Stomp the Yard, Part 2." I wish somebody would sit these guys down with Chuck Bednarik or Art Donovan to learn what's important to a real football player, although I guess Rosie Grier might have a different opinion.

Global Boring
Did you watch the Golden Globe Awards last night? Yeah, me neither. Okay, I tuned in for about five minutes, and here's what I learned: the star of Ugly Betty, which won for Best TV Comedy, is not really ugly. I know, I know, shocking. I've never seen the show, but I can't believe any show on TV is funnier than "The Office." The brief clip they showed last night where Steve Carell affirms his racial sensitivity by comparing his respect for Jesus Christ and Apollo Creed was ten times funnier than the clip of Ugly Betty walking into a plate-glass wall. Stupid politically correct voters.

Also, Annette Benning is aging much better than Warren Beatty. I guess this shouldn't come as a surprise considering that she is more than ten years younger than he. This was the segment that caused me to begin the channel surf. I mean, I am sure that Tom Hanks meant well in his tribute to Beatty, and he is just so gosh-darn earnest, but this was his worst performance since Bonfire of the Vanities, with none of the quirky charm of Joe Versus the Volcano.

Neuheisel New Hire
Baltimore Ravens' coach Brian Billick announced that he has promoted quarterbacks coach Rick Neuheisel to offensive coordinator. I have no idea how this will affect the team, but here is what I know about Neuheisel: he was a success at Colorado, where kept his players happy with inner-tubing trips and his guitar-playing antics, but he left for the big bucks at the University of Washington and left a mild stench of NCAA violations at Boulder. He was also successful at Washington, but was fired after he won a big-money ($5,000) NCAA basketball pool. He then sued UW and the NCAA for wrongful termination and won $4.5 million. Reports stated that Neuheisel shed a few tears on the stand during his testimony. Now, I think it's alright to cry (see Rosie Grier link above) during a multimillion dollar trial, but only if you're the guy who has to pay.

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