So, America doesn't want to rock, and I grow old ... I grow old ... I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled. These are the only conclusions I can draw from the baffling American Idol result on Wednesday. How else to explain the elimination of Chris, who had been roundly praised for weeks by the judges and was the most consistent and confident performer? I am clearly out of touch with the AI voting demographic, but I think I can live with that, just like I can live without fantasy leagues, TiVo and a MySpace profile.
My prediction was about as accurate as my first round NBA playoff picks, but I should have respected history a bit more and my own preferences a bit less. Taylor has yet to sit in the hot seat of the bottom two or three, whereas the other remaining contestants had taken turns recently. Elliott had a very strong night on Tuesday, and Katharine must get some credit for being the only one of the four who would draw a second look if you saw them on the street - assuming Taylor was just walking like a normal human being, not thrashing about like he does on stage.
I've been a Taylor fan since he ambled into the room playing a harmonica in one of the early shows, and I think he should win running away, but I would rather have watched him duke it out with Chris for the next two weeks. Last month, the Washington Post's Lisa de Moraes wrote an interesting item about measuring Taylor's popularity based on eBay sales. It's old news now and maybe the sales figures are skewed because of his kitschy appeal, but it's still worth considering.
With Elliott and Katharine - along with Paris, the top three tear shedders - still in the competition, the only certainty is that there will be a lot of weeping when the final winner is announced.
Friday, May 12, 2006
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Everybody Loves Chris
Daughtry, Daughtry, Daughtry. As the pressure mounted on "American Idol" last night, it was all Chris. Over and over, the AI judges tell us it's about song choice and performance, and Chris took two great Elvis songs and showed the other contestants how you win this thing. There's a reason why "Suspicious Minds" has been covered by everyone from Dwight Yoakam to the Fine Young Cannibals, and "A Little Less Conversation," one of the King's most underrated hits, has also aged well. By contrast, Katharine botched a "Hound Dog/All Shook Up" medley and seemed to be in the wrong key for "Can't Help Falling in Love." The low notes were too low and the high notes sounded flat. And her second outfit revealed her belly, at least I think it was her belly, I mean I was hoping it wasn't her belly, but, yep, that's her belly. Not a good look for her, but a good metaphor as her AI run goes belly up tonight (or maybe she exposed her soft underbelly).
Either way, it looks like it's going to be a stag affair for the final two weeks, but my surprising choice for second place right now would be Elliott. Taylor should have done much better on Elvis night. "Jailhouse Rock" was fine, but "In the Ghetto?" Come on, Taylor, that's not the song that's going to bring it home. I mean, good idea to choose a ballad as your second song for contrast, but again, with all the possible choices, I had higher expectations. "Heartbreak Hotel" or "Viva Las Vegas" for your opener and "Love Me Tender" or "It's Now or Never" second would have done it for me. Elliott took a chance and went away from Elvis songs everybody knows with "If I Can Dream" and "Trouble," which Taylor had already performed this season, and I think that risk will pay off. His talent has ever been an issue and, if his confidence carries over for another week, he could be onstage next to Chris in the finals.
Either way, it looks like it's going to be a stag affair for the final two weeks, but my surprising choice for second place right now would be Elliott. Taylor should have done much better on Elvis night. "Jailhouse Rock" was fine, but "In the Ghetto?" Come on, Taylor, that's not the song that's going to bring it home. I mean, good idea to choose a ballad as your second song for contrast, but again, with all the possible choices, I had higher expectations. "Heartbreak Hotel" or "Viva Las Vegas" for your opener and "Love Me Tender" or "It's Now or Never" second would have done it for me. Elliott took a chance and went away from Elvis songs everybody knows with "If I Can Dream" and "Trouble," which Taylor had already performed this season, and I think that risk will pay off. His talent has ever been an issue and, if his confidence carries over for another week, he could be onstage next to Chris in the finals.
Friday, May 05, 2006
Cereal Numbers
Eight boxes of cereal sit atop my dining room table. Every weekday morning and most weekends, they are pulled from the cabinet by my two children and poured in a ritual of precision and order, each portion carefully measured in a blending process that would impress vintners and distillers of the finest wines and spirits. Neither of my sons will go for all eight in one sitting, although occasionally, in a fit of characteristic whimsy, my younger son will have a whole bowl of just one variety. Generally, but not always, this rare occurence transpires when the box is nearly finished, and he knows that he can enrage his older brother if he leaves the box empty.
How did it come to this? Even in America, the land of the free and the home of overindulgence, eight options of whole-grain goodness for morning nourishment seems excessive to me. But as parents, we fight the war of nutrition with our children, a neverending campaign where we endure challenges inspired by television commercials, peers with mythically permissive parents, and that nefarious, longlived nemesis, the mail-in or "free inside" giveaway. In order to survive this near-constant onslaught, we make small concessions and live to eat another day.
Like most parenting scenarios, the roots of this daily idiosyncratic exercise lie in my childhood. For reasons economical and nutritional, my seven brothers and sisters and I were raised in a sugar cereal free environment. In our household, the flakes were not frosted, the Cap'n was not crunched. My mother recognized that my brother and I would eat huge quantities of cereal as teenagers, and she bought us large plastic Snoopy dog bowls well suited to the occasion, but nothing that changed the color of the milk was allowed in them. Save for a brief period of parental deception known as the Golden Grahams Era, ours was a breakfast menu of Cheerios, Corn Flakes and Wheaties. And I can barely force myself to type the words Puffed Wheat and Puffed Rice without gagging.
The only exception to this rule came on your birthday, when you could pick out a box of whatever cereal you wanted. And so you paced the length of the cereal aisle, weighing the merits of peanut butter versus Crunchberries, as leprechauns, rabbits, vampires and frogs beckoned from every shelf. Once you finished breakfast on your birthday, you could either put the box away, resigning yourself to the knowledge that it could not possibly withstand the assaults of your siblings to last until the next morning, or, you could hide it in your room well enough that it would only be found by ants sometime in the next six weeks.
For a time as a young adult, I would occasionally indulge in an act of rebellion against this childhood privation and buy a box of something akin to the Calvin and Hobbes favorite, Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs, only to find that one bowl was enough to keep me off sugar for the rest of the week. So, of course, it turns out that our parents were right, again.
Naturally, none of this matters to my own offspring. There has been much debate on the topic with a variety of proposed legislation and numerous calls for a floor vote (which the Doc and I rejected). After months of experimentation and test marketing, the standard upon which we finally settled is no more than six grams of sugar per serving and no high fructose corn syrup or artificial sweeteners like aspartame. The result has been a flurry of label reading and comparison on every trip to the grocery store. Forget about "Hooked on Phonics," this dietary policy has forced my boys to boost their math and reading skills well beyond grade level. I'm still not sure what riboflavin is, but I think I am going to find out.
There are some exceptions to the rule. Any cereal with fruit, such as Raisin Bran, gets an automatic exemption to the six gram ceiling, although we try to limit bran and dried fruit consumption, for obvious reasons. Meals taken outside the home, either at friends' homes or in restaurant, are also exempt. And, on your birthday, pick a box of whatever you want. Just don't be surprised if your dad polishes off a bowl after he puts you on the school bus.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Wizards Whiff
Well, the Wizards suffered what Bill Simmons would aptly describe as a "stomach-punch" loss last night at Cleveland in Game 5 of their first round playoff series. Actually, LeBron James scored his gamewinning basket shortly after midnight, so the Wiz lost this morning, on the East Coast anyway. I'll get back to gamewinner in a moment, but first I want to salute Washington's effort just to get to overtime.
Trailing by seven points with a little more than a minute to play in regulation, the Wizards sent the game into overtime by playing tough defense and driving the ball hard to the basket, with notable efforts from Caron Butler and Antonio Daniels. Washington forced a JeBron turnover and a bad shot by Eric Snow to gain enough possessions to get the game tied. Once overtime began, James did not take a shot for nearly four minutes and barely touched the ball on the Cavs' first few possessions. But the final 1:17 was all LeBron, as he made four free throws and drove the baseline for the final shot of the game.
So, did he travel on that last shot? I turned the game off in disgust as soon as the clock expired, so I didn't see the replays, and the ESPN coverage I have seen today did not shown a good angle, so I can't say for certain, but it looked like a travel to me from the wide shot. If this were the NFL playoffs, we would have seen this play from 20 different perspectives by now, but instead we get to hear LeBron denying a travel in his postgame interview. It doesn't matter, of course, because he traveled when he made the gamewinner in Game 3 and it wasn't called that time either (yes, he was fouled probably twice on that shot, but nothing was called). Just more grist for the mill of conspiracy theory.
The bottom line here is that the Wiz have lost two very close games and one blowout, but they have played well enough to win since the Game 1 King James coronation ceremony. Now it's about mental fortitude. They have to accept that they played two great games and lost them both, but they need to play two more to advance in the series. I still like their chances, especially with players like Daniels and Butler whose toughness compliments the talent of Gilbert Arenas and Antawn Jamison.
So what's the answer on the court? Even though Cleveland shot 43 free throws last night, I agree with Daniels' and Michael Wilbon's assertions that the Wizards must be more physical on defense and not give up so many layups. Unfortunately James draws so much attention that his teammates get open for high percentage shots or easy putbacsk on the offensive glass. Look for Eddie Jordan to find even more minutes for Michael Ruffin and Etan Thomas and don't be surprised to see at least one ejection for a hard foul in Game 6.
Trailing by seven points with a little more than a minute to play in regulation, the Wizards sent the game into overtime by playing tough defense and driving the ball hard to the basket, with notable efforts from Caron Butler and Antonio Daniels. Washington forced a JeBron turnover and a bad shot by Eric Snow to gain enough possessions to get the game tied. Once overtime began, James did not take a shot for nearly four minutes and barely touched the ball on the Cavs' first few possessions. But the final 1:17 was all LeBron, as he made four free throws and drove the baseline for the final shot of the game.
So, did he travel on that last shot? I turned the game off in disgust as soon as the clock expired, so I didn't see the replays, and the ESPN coverage I have seen today did not shown a good angle, so I can't say for certain, but it looked like a travel to me from the wide shot. If this were the NFL playoffs, we would have seen this play from 20 different perspectives by now, but instead we get to hear LeBron denying a travel in his postgame interview. It doesn't matter, of course, because he traveled when he made the gamewinner in Game 3 and it wasn't called that time either (yes, he was fouled probably twice on that shot, but nothing was called). Just more grist for the mill of conspiracy theory.
The bottom line here is that the Wiz have lost two very close games and one blowout, but they have played well enough to win since the Game 1 King James coronation ceremony. Now it's about mental fortitude. They have to accept that they played two great games and lost them both, but they need to play two more to advance in the series. I still like their chances, especially with players like Daniels and Butler whose toughness compliments the talent of Gilbert Arenas and Antawn Jamison.
So what's the answer on the court? Even though Cleveland shot 43 free throws last night, I agree with Daniels' and Michael Wilbon's assertions that the Wizards must be more physical on defense and not give up so many layups. Unfortunately James draws so much attention that his teammates get open for high percentage shots or easy putbacsk on the offensive glass. Look for Eddie Jordan to find even more minutes for Michael Ruffin and Etan Thomas and don't be surprised to see at least one ejection for a hard foul in Game 6.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Weedout Wednesday
Finally, American Idol voters have to make a tough choice. Last week's elimination of Kellie left a field of reasonably talented singers capable of putting together decent performances. Jimmy Kimmel had a great bit on Friday about Kellie returning to her job designing nuclear weaponry at Los Alamos. I am just glad that America finally realized that it's a singing competition and when one of the contestants stands on stage and says how bad she was for two straight weeks, maybe it's time for her to go.
Going back to my initial impressions of the Final 12, I find myself deliberately difficult to decode, but I missed badly on Mandisa (I still say she belongs in this group, but I guess she had a bad day, the camera don't lie, she sang a sad song ... no, no, no, stop please, I'm begging you). I also had Elliott and Paris long gone by now and failed to anticipate the impact of Lisa's plummeting confidence and Katharine's plunging necklines.
Last night's two-song format forced the contestants into abbreviated performances, but most of them seemed to cope. What concerned me the most was the repetition of songs. Earlier this season, Elliott sang a song that Bo Bice did last year, and last night we heard two that Scott Savol did ("On Broadway" and "Take a Look at Me Now"). Are there so few good songs? Or did Elliott run an American Idol focus group to see which songs tested well in previous shows? American Idol focus group - that's a room I might set fire to even if I knew I could not escape. Actually, what concerns me most is that my brain contains so much Scott Savol information.
So how did they do and who will be eliminated? Taylor did well, even though he flubbed the lyrics on "Something." Simon is baffled by his appeal in the same way that he doesn't get country music, but America loves a guy who has a great time onstage, although the falling down was a bit much. Taylor does what most of us would try to do if we were on the show, he just does it better. Chris was strong and continues to be the most consistent performer. Much like a presidential candidate, he needs to capture the middle to win. The Doc wants to see him go back to wearing eyeliner, but I think that would undercut his chances.
Katharine had the strangest night, singing poorly in her first number and then performing like some sort of singing mermaid, rooted to the stage, in her second. She showed a lot less skin than last week, but I will give her points for originality on her second song, which, course, I had never heard before. Plus, with Kellie and Ace gone, she will get the "prettiest contestant" vote. I think she is safe.
That leaves Elliott and Paris. As I said at the top, it's a tough call. I think Elliott went the safe route and did it well, and the judges always seem to be reminding us that he is very talented. Paris, on the other hand, chose good songs by Prince and Mary J. Blige that might not have broad appeal. I once watched part of the filming of a Mary J. Blige video in Manhattan. I can't name any of her songs, not even the one they were doing that day, but I would definitely go see her perform live. That is, if I were the kind of person who ever goes to concerts. It's quite possible I have not seen a concert since the turn of the millennium (kiddie outings to the symphony and the Wiggles don't count).
Anyway, tonight, I think we say goodbye to Paris. She's talented, she's as consistently good as anyone except maybe Chris performer, but she never wows you. Of course, I thought she wouldn't make the top 10, so now she'll probably win the whole thing.
FitzFacts, out!
Going back to my initial impressions of the Final 12, I find myself deliberately difficult to decode, but I missed badly on Mandisa (I still say she belongs in this group, but I guess she had a bad day, the camera don't lie, she sang a sad song ... no, no, no, stop please, I'm begging you). I also had Elliott and Paris long gone by now and failed to anticipate the impact of Lisa's plummeting confidence and Katharine's plunging necklines.
Last night's two-song format forced the contestants into abbreviated performances, but most of them seemed to cope. What concerned me the most was the repetition of songs. Earlier this season, Elliott sang a song that Bo Bice did last year, and last night we heard two that Scott Savol did ("On Broadway" and "Take a Look at Me Now"). Are there so few good songs? Or did Elliott run an American Idol focus group to see which songs tested well in previous shows? American Idol focus group - that's a room I might set fire to even if I knew I could not escape. Actually, what concerns me most is that my brain contains so much Scott Savol information.
So how did they do and who will be eliminated? Taylor did well, even though he flubbed the lyrics on "Something." Simon is baffled by his appeal in the same way that he doesn't get country music, but America loves a guy who has a great time onstage, although the falling down was a bit much. Taylor does what most of us would try to do if we were on the show, he just does it better. Chris was strong and continues to be the most consistent performer. Much like a presidential candidate, he needs to capture the middle to win. The Doc wants to see him go back to wearing eyeliner, but I think that would undercut his chances.
Katharine had the strangest night, singing poorly in her first number and then performing like some sort of singing mermaid, rooted to the stage, in her second. She showed a lot less skin than last week, but I will give her points for originality on her second song, which, course, I had never heard before. Plus, with Kellie and Ace gone, she will get the "prettiest contestant" vote. I think she is safe.
That leaves Elliott and Paris. As I said at the top, it's a tough call. I think Elliott went the safe route and did it well, and the judges always seem to be reminding us that he is very talented. Paris, on the other hand, chose good songs by Prince and Mary J. Blige that might not have broad appeal. I once watched part of the filming of a Mary J. Blige video in Manhattan. I can't name any of her songs, not even the one they were doing that day, but I would definitely go see her perform live. That is, if I were the kind of person who ever goes to concerts. It's quite possible I have not seen a concert since the turn of the millennium (kiddie outings to the symphony and the Wiggles don't count).
Anyway, tonight, I think we say goodbye to Paris. She's talented, she's as consistently good as anyone except maybe Chris performer, but she never wows you. Of course, I thought she wouldn't make the top 10, so now she'll probably win the whole thing.
FitzFacts, out!
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Cliche of the Day
One of the clichés of the blog world is the “sorry I haven’t been blogging lately” post. This is often the last entry in a blog after a once-furious pace of daily posting declines into semiweekly and biweekly halfhearted contributions before the blog is jettisoned completely to float away like space junk in the blogosphere. It is the blogger's equivalent of, “I’ll call you,” except that the jilted blog doesn’t sit by the phone, get angry and bitter, and take solace in the company of similarly treated blogs while going through a temporary period of hating all bloggers.
Now, cliches derive their strength from the overwhelming evidence in support of them, but they would be less powerful without the occasional counterexample. So, to bolster this blog cliché, FitzFacts.com is back and better than ever! (like it could be worse)
Let’s begin with the temporary demise of the Tony Kornheiser Radio Show. As of last Friday, Mr. Tony is off the air until at least the end of football season. Of course, one never knows what opportunities could arise from MNF, but he says he will return to the radio because he enjoys it so much, and I believe him. I sent him a few emails last week. The last one was a farewell rap, which he acknowledged as very good and very nice, but he didn’t read it because he said it was too long and he didn’t think he would get the cadence. He’s probably right about that, but I don’t think Eminem would get the cadence because it was written by a man possessing the rhythmic skills (not skilz) of a bag of microwave popcorn. So here it is:
Dear Mr. Tony,
The following is a little tribute I penned as a farewell. If you read it on the air, think Run DMC. Better yet, have someone under the age of 50 read it in your stead.
Went to high school in Hewlett, sir
Never won a Pulitzer
Started out as a writer
When Haggar pants used to be tighter
Then came SportsTalk and TV
Guests like Junior and Grevey
And we all think it's funny
When his dog eats his money
Don't try to turn off his mike, please
He will bury you like cheese
Pickin' brackets with aplomb
You know he's rollin' with Phil's Mom
Now he's multimedia
Clicks the Web like Expedia
Rocks his radio old guy
Keeps Johnnie Walker Blue close by
Wants to roadie for Springsteen
But can't lift more than Miss Teen
ESPN made a good call
TK on Monday Night Football
Don't know Mike Adams from Flozell
Could he be the next Cosell?
And if this ain't your thang, huh?
I say, "Cazzata Malanga!"
Bill
Phoenix, MD
Now, cliches derive their strength from the overwhelming evidence in support of them, but they would be less powerful without the occasional counterexample. So, to bolster this blog cliché, FitzFacts.com is back and better than ever! (like it could be worse)
Let’s begin with the temporary demise of the Tony Kornheiser Radio Show. As of last Friday, Mr. Tony is off the air until at least the end of football season. Of course, one never knows what opportunities could arise from MNF, but he says he will return to the radio because he enjoys it so much, and I believe him. I sent him a few emails last week. The last one was a farewell rap, which he acknowledged as very good and very nice, but he didn’t read it because he said it was too long and he didn’t think he would get the cadence. He’s probably right about that, but I don’t think Eminem would get the cadence because it was written by a man possessing the rhythmic skills (not skilz) of a bag of microwave popcorn. So here it is:
Dear Mr. Tony,
The following is a little tribute I penned as a farewell. If you read it on the air, think Run DMC. Better yet, have someone under the age of 50 read it in your stead.
Went to high school in Hewlett, sir
Never won a Pulitzer
Started out as a writer
When Haggar pants used to be tighter
Then came SportsTalk and TV
Guests like Junior and Grevey
And we all think it's funny
When his dog eats his money
Don't try to turn off his mike, please
He will bury you like cheese
Pickin' brackets with aplomb
You know he's rollin' with Phil's Mom
Now he's multimedia
Clicks the Web like Expedia
Rocks his radio old guy
Keeps Johnnie Walker Blue close by
Wants to roadie for Springsteen
But can't lift more than Miss Teen
ESPN made a good call
TK on Monday Night Football
Don't know Mike Adams from Flozell
Could he be the next Cosell?
And if this ain't your thang, huh?
I say, "Cazzata Malanga!"
Bill
Phoenix, MD
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Wizards Fever - It happens to me every year!
The title of this post refers of course to the 1977 Nils Lofgren tune, "Bullets Fever," a tribute to that year's NBA Champions. Could this be the year for a classic rerelease? See my first round NBA playoff preview at sportsfanmagazine.com to find out.
Anybody have another favorite sports team championship song? Of course the Bears had the "Superbowl Shuffle," complete with the video so brilliantly lampooned by Saturday Night Live ("I am kicker, I kick touchdowns!"). The Redskins had a horrible riff on Hank Williams "Jambalaya (On the Bayou)" for one of their Super Bowl runs, and there was "Bully Bullets" to the tune of "Wooly Bully," which was awful. And didn't I have to hear some Red Sox dreck over and over again two years ago? Most of these songs are absolutely forgettable, but I still remember most of the lyrics for "Bullets Fever" ("they got by the Iceman ... Seattle was stunned). Anybody else want to nominate a particular favorite?
Anybody have another favorite sports team championship song? Of course the Bears had the "Superbowl Shuffle," complete with the video so brilliantly lampooned by Saturday Night Live ("I am kicker, I kick touchdowns!"). The Redskins had a horrible riff on Hank Williams "Jambalaya (On the Bayou)" for one of their Super Bowl runs, and there was "Bully Bullets" to the tune of "Wooly Bully," which was awful. And didn't I have to hear some Red Sox dreck over and over again two years ago? Most of these songs are absolutely forgettable, but I still remember most of the lyrics for "Bullets Fever" ("they got by the Iceman ... Seattle was stunned). Anybody else want to nominate a particular favorite?
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Back in the Bloggle Again
Alright, after a week plus of Spring Break and Easter celebrations, it's time to get back on the blog, if only to get Duke lacrosse off the top of the page. The whole situation in Durham is messing with my head, so let's move to a safer topic for now, American Idol.
AB in White Hall, Maryland, wants to know why AI has been so bad the last two weeks. His query email arrived before last night's show, which was an obvious improvement over the past few, but, that fact not withstanding, I had to point out the basic flaw in his question, his assumption that we should expect this show to be any good to begin with. However, if we are making a relative comparison, I think that the reason is quite simple. The show is bad when the contestants are not up to the level of the material, which is why Idol producers should avoid themes of great recording artists like Stevie Wonder and Queen. All those shows made me think was, "Boy, Stevie Wonder and Queen have recorded some fantastic songs over the years, and these people can't even come close to matching them." And because the performances are so bad, the younger generation that never heard the originals is even less likely to seek them out.
Now, you take a show with last night's theme, "American Songbook" as interpreted by that great American crooner, Rod Stewart, and you have something the Idol wannabes can sink their chops into. I mean, if you can't belt out a few bars of Cole Porter or George Gershwin, then you really have no business being on American Idol. Also, these songs have been done by so many different singers that there is not usually a definitive version that the Idols had to live up to.
But before I get to the contestants, a few words about Rod Stewart. He was great. Watching him leer over Kellie Pickler as if he were doing a quick mental calculation comparing her to his latest blonde girlfriend (the successor to Britt Ekland and Rachel Hunter among others) and hearing him strain to bite his tongue gave me several laughs that had my sons asking me what was so funny. I don't know how much he helped the Idols, but he was far more entertaining than Barry Manilow and Kenny Rogers.
Now to the performances. Chris added to his solid resume with a raspy yet soulful rendition of "What a Wonderful World." Singing while sitting on the stage steps spelled doom for former contestant Kevin Covais, but Chris has a pretty healthy rocker cred account to draw on, so he should be okay. I was happy to see him lose the eyeliner that he sported last week, I guess as a tribute to Queen, and, even as he cleaned up his look for the classic song, he still had the chained wallet to appeal to the Harley Davidson demographic.
Paris was also very good, probably good enough to avoid elimination this week. She didn't have to give a showy performance that forced her to act like someone or something she is not, and her hair was pulled back so there was no chance she could flip it across her face as she had done in earlier shows. Taylor took a little while to really get going on "You Send Me," but the song took off once he got his energy cranked up. I still think he can win, but only if he can turn in performances that blend the strength of his personality with his voice.
Elliott, on the other hand, never got into "It Had to Be You." This was our wedding song and I honestly think our band did it just as well. Elliott has a great voice, but he doesn't quite bring the showmanship, and, as the Doc said, "I like him best when he sings with the microphone in front of his face." Ouch, babe! Kellie was not much better, other than her segment with Rod Stewart. She did not seem to get the song, "Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered," and badly missed several notes.
I thought Ace would be similarly challenged by the genre, but he surprised me. In direct contrast to Elliott, Ace wrapped his limited vocal talent into a pretty package in "That's All," his best showing since he did George Michael's "Father Figure." Ace only has to sing well about once a month to survive because he reminds the Doc of a young John Travolta, and one of my younger sisters compares him to Rob Lowe.
Finally, to the surprise of no one, Katharine brought the house down with "Someone to Watch Over Me." When she stands still and sings, Katharine, much like Paris, gets it done.
All in all, last night's show was sort of like watching a Nora Ephron movie, complete with the soundtrack. If it's a good one, it's tolerable and even enjoyable. If not, it's torture. My prediction for tonight: Paris, Elliot, and Ace in the bottom three and Elliott goes home.
AB in White Hall, Maryland, wants to know why AI has been so bad the last two weeks. His query email arrived before last night's show, which was an obvious improvement over the past few, but, that fact not withstanding, I had to point out the basic flaw in his question, his assumption that we should expect this show to be any good to begin with. However, if we are making a relative comparison, I think that the reason is quite simple. The show is bad when the contestants are not up to the level of the material, which is why Idol producers should avoid themes of great recording artists like Stevie Wonder and Queen. All those shows made me think was, "Boy, Stevie Wonder and Queen have recorded some fantastic songs over the years, and these people can't even come close to matching them." And because the performances are so bad, the younger generation that never heard the originals is even less likely to seek them out.
Now, you take a show with last night's theme, "American Songbook" as interpreted by that great American crooner, Rod Stewart, and you have something the Idol wannabes can sink their chops into. I mean, if you can't belt out a few bars of Cole Porter or George Gershwin, then you really have no business being on American Idol. Also, these songs have been done by so many different singers that there is not usually a definitive version that the Idols had to live up to.
But before I get to the contestants, a few words about Rod Stewart. He was great. Watching him leer over Kellie Pickler as if he were doing a quick mental calculation comparing her to his latest blonde girlfriend (the successor to Britt Ekland and Rachel Hunter among others) and hearing him strain to bite his tongue gave me several laughs that had my sons asking me what was so funny. I don't know how much he helped the Idols, but he was far more entertaining than Barry Manilow and Kenny Rogers.
Now to the performances. Chris added to his solid resume with a raspy yet soulful rendition of "What a Wonderful World." Singing while sitting on the stage steps spelled doom for former contestant Kevin Covais, but Chris has a pretty healthy rocker cred account to draw on, so he should be okay. I was happy to see him lose the eyeliner that he sported last week, I guess as a tribute to Queen, and, even as he cleaned up his look for the classic song, he still had the chained wallet to appeal to the Harley Davidson demographic.
Paris was also very good, probably good enough to avoid elimination this week. She didn't have to give a showy performance that forced her to act like someone or something she is not, and her hair was pulled back so there was no chance she could flip it across her face as she had done in earlier shows. Taylor took a little while to really get going on "You Send Me," but the song took off once he got his energy cranked up. I still think he can win, but only if he can turn in performances that blend the strength of his personality with his voice.
Elliott, on the other hand, never got into "It Had to Be You." This was our wedding song and I honestly think our band did it just as well. Elliott has a great voice, but he doesn't quite bring the showmanship, and, as the Doc said, "I like him best when he sings with the microphone in front of his face." Ouch, babe! Kellie was not much better, other than her segment with Rod Stewart. She did not seem to get the song, "Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered," and badly missed several notes.
I thought Ace would be similarly challenged by the genre, but he surprised me. In direct contrast to Elliott, Ace wrapped his limited vocal talent into a pretty package in "That's All," his best showing since he did George Michael's "Father Figure." Ace only has to sing well about once a month to survive because he reminds the Doc of a young John Travolta, and one of my younger sisters compares him to Rob Lowe.
Finally, to the surprise of no one, Katharine brought the house down with "Someone to Watch Over Me." When she stands still and sings, Katharine, much like Paris, gets it done.
All in all, last night's show was sort of like watching a Nora Ephron movie, complete with the soundtrack. If it's a good one, it's tolerable and even enjoyable. If not, it's torture. My prediction for tonight: Paris, Elliot, and Ace in the bottom three and Elliott goes home.
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Duke Lacrosse
In response to the overwhelming outcry for my thoughts on the Duke University lacrosse situation, let me begin by saying that I would rather write about the great injustice done to Mandisa by the American Idol voters, the Wizards' steadily improving play as they approach the playoffs, the Orioles' stranglehold on first place in the American League East (which may have dissipated by the time I post this), or the curious fact that breakfast at my house routinely requires the opening of seven different boxes of cereal (eight if you include the Doc's oatmeal). But, as was pointed out below, I did spend 12 years working in college athletics, five at Johns Hopkins University, where lacrosse is a pretty big deal, and since I often expound at length about sports, it seems reasonable that I should tackle this horribly troubling issue.
So, what do I think? I think I am going to try not to get too hysterically carried away just yet. Sports plays a large but not dominant role in my life, and it always pains me when these types of stories bring forth attacks on athletics as an institution, with accusations usually made by people with a predetermined agenda bolstered by ignorant presumptions. The problems at Duke, like the recent scandals at the University of Colorado, Baylor University and the Naval Academy, just to name a few, tarnish the image of an experience that I and many others have valued for its positive impact on our lives. So, in light of the seriousness of the situation, I would like to try to avoid speculation and generalization and start with the specifics of what I know, and let's just see if I get around to what I think.
I know that the three captains of the Duke lacrosse team had a party for the team at their house during spring break, and they hired two strippers to perform at the party. Not surprisingly, underaged players drank alcohol at the party, and probably to great excess. College parties with underaged drinking and strippers took place when I was at Cornell University 20 years ago, and they were not solely the domain of varsity athletes. The hiring of strippers was not nearly as commonplace as the drinking, but it was not unheard of.
One of the women - both of whom were black - hired by the Duke players, told police that she was attacked and raped by three of the men at the party. The players deny that any sexual assault took place. A medical examination supported her claim of sexual assault. Ten days after the party, the 46 white members of the lacrosse team submitted DNA samples at the behest of a court order. The police obtained warrants to search the house, at least one vehicle, and the dorm room of one of the players. No charges have been filed yet. The lacrosse season has been cancelled, the coach has resigned, and one player has been suspended from the University. So, that's what I know as facts.
Mostly, this whole situation makes me angry. It makes me angry because someone is lying about a horrific crime and the resulting furor has brought out the worst assumptions and stereotypes about race, class and gender for both the lacrosse players and their accuser.
If the players are lying, and they are guilty, then they should be given the maximum sentence allowed, and if their teammates have withheld information, they should be prosecuted as well. No code of team unity should supercede basic human decency. Furthermore, no punishment will heal the wounds this woman has suffered, if she is telling the truth.
Rape is a heinous crime with lasting impact on the victim. Beyond my anger at the situation as a whole, my greatest emotion goes toward the alleged victim. It is extremely difficult for women to report sexual assaults in the first place, to admit that they have been violated, and even more difficult to endure the scrutiny that comes with such accusations. Because of the stigma of the circumstance, the authorities must vigorously investigate her report, and I applaud them for doing so.
If, on the other hand, the woman is lying, she has wreaked havoc on the lives of everyone associated with the Duke lacrosse program and, to some extent, the University. Even if the players are exonerated, tremendous damage has already been done, and its repercussions may never go away.
I have lived long enough that the veracity of either scenario would come as no shock, nor would it surprise me to learn that truth lies somewhere between the statements both sides have made thus far. So, either way, I am angry and disheartened, and not just by the people at the party.
The Durham district attorney made several statements in the Charlotte News and Observer that struck me as irresponsible to say the least. Perhaps he sees this as the best way to move his case forward, but he has come close to denying any presumption of innocence. He has also said that charges could be forthcoming next week. Until then, I plan to watch "The Accused," and reread "Bonfire of the Vanities" and "To Kill a Mockingbird." However, nothing could make me watch the movie "Bonfire of the Vanities."
So, what do I think? I think I am going to try not to get too hysterically carried away just yet. Sports plays a large but not dominant role in my life, and it always pains me when these types of stories bring forth attacks on athletics as an institution, with accusations usually made by people with a predetermined agenda bolstered by ignorant presumptions. The problems at Duke, like the recent scandals at the University of Colorado, Baylor University and the Naval Academy, just to name a few, tarnish the image of an experience that I and many others have valued for its positive impact on our lives. So, in light of the seriousness of the situation, I would like to try to avoid speculation and generalization and start with the specifics of what I know, and let's just see if I get around to what I think.
I know that the three captains of the Duke lacrosse team had a party for the team at their house during spring break, and they hired two strippers to perform at the party. Not surprisingly, underaged players drank alcohol at the party, and probably to great excess. College parties with underaged drinking and strippers took place when I was at Cornell University 20 years ago, and they were not solely the domain of varsity athletes. The hiring of strippers was not nearly as commonplace as the drinking, but it was not unheard of.
One of the women - both of whom were black - hired by the Duke players, told police that she was attacked and raped by three of the men at the party. The players deny that any sexual assault took place. A medical examination supported her claim of sexual assault. Ten days after the party, the 46 white members of the lacrosse team submitted DNA samples at the behest of a court order. The police obtained warrants to search the house, at least one vehicle, and the dorm room of one of the players. No charges have been filed yet. The lacrosse season has been cancelled, the coach has resigned, and one player has been suspended from the University. So, that's what I know as facts.
Mostly, this whole situation makes me angry. It makes me angry because someone is lying about a horrific crime and the resulting furor has brought out the worst assumptions and stereotypes about race, class and gender for both the lacrosse players and their accuser.
If the players are lying, and they are guilty, then they should be given the maximum sentence allowed, and if their teammates have withheld information, they should be prosecuted as well. No code of team unity should supercede basic human decency. Furthermore, no punishment will heal the wounds this woman has suffered, if she is telling the truth.
Rape is a heinous crime with lasting impact on the victim. Beyond my anger at the situation as a whole, my greatest emotion goes toward the alleged victim. It is extremely difficult for women to report sexual assaults in the first place, to admit that they have been violated, and even more difficult to endure the scrutiny that comes with such accusations. Because of the stigma of the circumstance, the authorities must vigorously investigate her report, and I applaud them for doing so.
If, on the other hand, the woman is lying, she has wreaked havoc on the lives of everyone associated with the Duke lacrosse program and, to some extent, the University. Even if the players are exonerated, tremendous damage has already been done, and its repercussions may never go away.
I have lived long enough that the veracity of either scenario would come as no shock, nor would it surprise me to learn that truth lies somewhere between the statements both sides have made thus far. So, either way, I am angry and disheartened, and not just by the people at the party.
The Durham district attorney made several statements in the Charlotte News and Observer that struck me as irresponsible to say the least. Perhaps he sees this as the best way to move his case forward, but he has come close to denying any presumption of innocence. He has also said that charges could be forthcoming next week. Until then, I plan to watch "The Accused," and reread "Bonfire of the Vanities" and "To Kill a Mockingbird." However, nothing could make me watch the movie "Bonfire of the Vanities."
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Fool me once ...
Alright, alright, enough April Foolery, let's get back to the business of the day, well, of my day anyway.
Grand finale?
Unless the editors found them unsuitable for upload, my reflections on the most boring Final Four I have ever seen should be up at SportsFanMagazine.com.
What is the "Deal?"
I am not concerned about the state of college basketball or the NCAA Tournament, but I am very worried about the rise of "Deal or No Deal," especially in my house. I rushed home from a meeting last night to catch the beginning of the Florida-UCLA game (and if you missed the first 10 minutes, you pretty much missed the whole game), but instead of Greg Gumbel, Clark Kellogg, and Seth Davis, I was greeted by Howie Mandel on my TV. The Doc and the boys sat entranced, a scene eerily reminiscent of when they were first hypnotized by "American Idol." Maybe sometime in the future, I will write about what a great show "Deal or No Deal" is and how much fun it is for the whole family, but right now, I have some trepidation.
First of all, I saw Howie Mandel perform live about 10 years ago and he was great. He had some funny material, of course, but was more impressive with some improvised bits and brilliant in shutting up hecklers. This kind of talent hasn't been wasted on a game show since Richard Dawson hosted "Family Feud." It hurts to watch, and let's not even discuss his creepy makeover. If we can find room on the dial for shows starring Hulk Hogan and Flavor Flav, can't we find something better for a legitimate talent like Howie Mandel?
Secondly, my six-year already negotiates items like bathtime as if he were a miniature Drew Rosenhaus, and I don't need this show to make dealing with him any more difficult. I can hear it now .... "Okay, Dad, one of these three boxes holds your car keys. The other two have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that I found at the bottom of my locker last week and the contents of the plastic bag you brought back from walking the dog this morning. I just got a phone call that informed me that I can offer you the box with the keys in exchange for a six-month advance on my allowance. Deal or no deal?"
I don't need this.
Gross Miscalculation
Well, the weekend numbers are in, and it appears I was off by just a tad when I predicted that "Basic Instinct 2" would edge out "Ice Age 2" for box office supremacy. According to boxofficemojo.com, "Ice" went for $68 million while "Instinct" took in $3.2 million, also trailing other new releases "ATL" ($11.5) and "Slither" ($3.9). So, good job by me on that. I guess I should have warned you that the last time I tried to do this, I forecast a bigger opening weekend for the Coen brothers' "Intolerable Cruelty" than for "Finding Nemo." So I am consistent. We'll try again this Friday.
O's on Top
Speaking of big openings, the Orioles pounded four home runs in their 9-6 win over Tampa Bay yesterday. All the previews I read mentioned that the O's spent 62 games in first place before falling apart last season. So nobody should get too excited, but seeing as how there was a tornado watch in Baltimore yesterday, we should be happy they got the game in at all, and a victory in such conditions might just be an omen.
A Push West
The Wizards were just one last-second Antawn Jamison three-pointer at Houston away from a 4-2 record on their recent road trip, but 3-3 is a very satisfactory result. At the end of February, I missed badly when I forecast them finishing ahead of Cleveland, but with wins at Detroit, San Antonio and Phoenix this season, Washington has shown it can compete with the best teams in the league. Unfortunately, even though they are currently in fifth place in the Eastern Conference, the Wizards are only three games ahead of eighth place Philadelphia.
Politics Unusual
I try to steer clear of politics, but last week on NPR I heard conservative pundit Freddy "The Beetle" Barnes say that Geroge Bush should ask Condoleezza Rice to replace Vice President Cheney, thereby firmly establishing her as the next Republican presidential candidate. So this means we could have Condi versus Hilary in 2008? Meeeyow! Throw in Sharon Stone as a viable third-party entry and we're talking ratings bonanza!
Idolatry
It's country night tonight on Idol. Great news for Kellie and Bucky, not so good for Katharine, who found herself in the bottom three last week. Kenny Rogers performs tomorrow on Judgment Night, but the real contest will be to determine whether his plastic surgeon is as good as Barry Manilow's.
Grand finale?
Unless the editors found them unsuitable for upload, my reflections on the most boring Final Four I have ever seen should be up at SportsFanMagazine.com.
What is the "Deal?"
I am not concerned about the state of college basketball or the NCAA Tournament, but I am very worried about the rise of "Deal or No Deal," especially in my house. I rushed home from a meeting last night to catch the beginning of the Florida-UCLA game (and if you missed the first 10 minutes, you pretty much missed the whole game), but instead of Greg Gumbel, Clark Kellogg, and Seth Davis, I was greeted by Howie Mandel on my TV. The Doc and the boys sat entranced, a scene eerily reminiscent of when they were first hypnotized by "American Idol." Maybe sometime in the future, I will write about what a great show "Deal or No Deal" is and how much fun it is for the whole family, but right now, I have some trepidation.
First of all, I saw Howie Mandel perform live about 10 years ago and he was great. He had some funny material, of course, but was more impressive with some improvised bits and brilliant in shutting up hecklers. This kind of talent hasn't been wasted on a game show since Richard Dawson hosted "Family Feud." It hurts to watch, and let's not even discuss his creepy makeover. If we can find room on the dial for shows starring Hulk Hogan and Flavor Flav, can't we find something better for a legitimate talent like Howie Mandel?
Secondly, my six-year already negotiates items like bathtime as if he were a miniature Drew Rosenhaus, and I don't need this show to make dealing with him any more difficult. I can hear it now .... "Okay, Dad, one of these three boxes holds your car keys. The other two have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that I found at the bottom of my locker last week and the contents of the plastic bag you brought back from walking the dog this morning. I just got a phone call that informed me that I can offer you the box with the keys in exchange for a six-month advance on my allowance. Deal or no deal?"
I don't need this.
Gross Miscalculation
Well, the weekend numbers are in, and it appears I was off by just a tad when I predicted that "Basic Instinct 2" would edge out "Ice Age 2" for box office supremacy. According to boxofficemojo.com, "Ice" went for $68 million while "Instinct" took in $3.2 million, also trailing other new releases "ATL" ($11.5) and "Slither" ($3.9). So, good job by me on that. I guess I should have warned you that the last time I tried to do this, I forecast a bigger opening weekend for the Coen brothers' "Intolerable Cruelty" than for "Finding Nemo." So I am consistent. We'll try again this Friday.
O's on Top
Speaking of big openings, the Orioles pounded four home runs in their 9-6 win over Tampa Bay yesterday. All the previews I read mentioned that the O's spent 62 games in first place before falling apart last season. So nobody should get too excited, but seeing as how there was a tornado watch in Baltimore yesterday, we should be happy they got the game in at all, and a victory in such conditions might just be an omen.
A Push West
The Wizards were just one last-second Antawn Jamison three-pointer at Houston away from a 4-2 record on their recent road trip, but 3-3 is a very satisfactory result. At the end of February, I missed badly when I forecast them finishing ahead of Cleveland, but with wins at Detroit, San Antonio and Phoenix this season, Washington has shown it can compete with the best teams in the league. Unfortunately, even though they are currently in fifth place in the Eastern Conference, the Wizards are only three games ahead of eighth place Philadelphia.
Politics Unusual
I try to steer clear of politics, but last week on NPR I heard conservative pundit Freddy "The Beetle" Barnes say that Geroge Bush should ask Condoleezza Rice to replace Vice President Cheney, thereby firmly establishing her as the next Republican presidential candidate. So this means we could have Condi versus Hilary in 2008? Meeeyow! Throw in Sharon Stone as a viable third-party entry and we're talking ratings bonanza!
Idolatry
It's country night tonight on Idol. Great news for Kellie and Bucky, not so good for Katharine, who found herself in the bottom three last week. Kenny Rogers performs tomorrow on Judgment Night, but the real contest will be to determine whether his plastic surgeon is as good as Barry Manilow's.
Saturday, April 01, 2006
Sweet Pea
This is our dog, Sweet Pea. She will be one year old later this month. Isn't she a beauty? Now you can see why the Doc and I drag ourselves out of bed every morning, sometimes before dawn, to take her for a walk. I mean, how could you say no to such a face? Actually it's more the whining and the barking that get us up, but I digress.People comment all the time about how pretty she is and ask what breed she is. Most of them think she is a Lab puppy because of her size and coloring, but, in fact, she is a 100% purebred Aleutian Wheathound.
If you have not heard of the Aleutian Wheathound, don't feel bad. It is not a breed recognized by the AKC or any other kennel clubs and is quite rare outside its ancestral home, the Aleutian Islands. The Wheathound gets its name not from its tawny fur, but from its role in the Islands' agricultural industry. Aleutian farmers rely on the Wheathound to patrol their fields, protecting the crop from vermin until it is ready for harvest. The Wheathound is not especially tall, about 22 inches at the shoulder, but neither is the wheat, due to the nearly constant fog and heavy rainfall that makes for one of the shortest growing seasons in the Northern Pacific Ocean region. Before modern farming instruments came to the Aleutian Islands, farmers knew it was time to harvest when the crop grew high enough to almost completely obscure their dog, leaving only the white tip of its tail showing.
American agricultural entrepreneurs have sought to bring the Wheathound to the United States, hoping that its unique ability to protect fields would reduce the application of pesticides and promote safer ecological practices, but they have been frustrated in their attempts because the Wheathound will eat only fresh saltwater fish, a dietary preference developed over centuries of living on the Islands. This peculiarity makes it impractical for large agricultural states in the American Midwest, which of course have no access to oceans.
The dog actually catches its own fish during the low tides, standing in the surf and flipping them out of the water into its mouth, much like a grizzly bear in a salmon run. We have tried to feed Sweet Pea canned and frozen fish, but she just turns up her pretty nose, forcing us to head to Baltimore's harbor for her daily meals.
The Wheathound's only natural enemy is the sea otter because of territorial battles over fishing areas. At one time, Russian fur trappers sought to train the Wheathound to hunt the sea otter, but the dogs proved unwilling to battle their enemies for more than their contested food source.
We acquired Sweet Pea when a college friend of ours was called up by the Foreign Service. He had served in the office of the American Consulate in the Aleutian Islands for 15 years until deactivating to reserve status and returning to the U.S. last May. Sweet Pea was a gift from the Aleutian government, who appreciated his intervention in the National Defense System, a controversial ballistic missile base that the U.S. is implementing in the northern Pacific Ocean. Unfortunately, there was a coup in Gambia last summer and our friend's fluency in the Mandinka, Fula and Wolof dialects made it impossible for him to say no when the government asked him to intercede. In Gambia, dog is a delicacy, so he thought Sweet Pea's presence might compromise his negotiating strength, and, again, there would be no access to the ocean for Sweet Pea's food.
We have been quite delighted to have her, especially the boys, of course. I never get tired of telling people her story and am currently petitioning the American Kennel Club for breed recognition so that someday we can cheer for Sweet Pea's relatives in the Westminster Dog Show. She is already Best in Show in our eyes, but if you would like to help, please write to the address below:
HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY!
Friday, March 31, 2006
Friday Fandango
No 3,000-word screeds today, people. Today we're going to blog it old school, kick it USA Today Larry King style, minus the ellipses.
Has everybody had enough George Mason coverage yet? Yesterday, I heard his two grown sons being interviewed on NPR's "Talk of the Nation." Reminds me of the time I heard Lakshmi Singh report that the Rams would have to beat the Seahawks for the third time in order to advance in the playoffs. When did Lakshmi Singh become Michele Tafoya? Have they changed the name to ESPNPR? Excuse me, but on NPR the only report I should hear about competition between Seahawks and Rams should reference the environment and Charles Darwin, not a football game.
I'm rooting for George Mason and LSU tomorrow, and if both win, I just hope the floor has been specially reinforced to accommodate Jai Lewis and Big Baby together on the same court Monday.
Has everybody had enough George Mason coverage yet? Yesterday, I heard his two grown sons being interviewed on NPR's "Talk of the Nation." Reminds me of the time I heard Lakshmi Singh report that the Rams would have to beat the Seahawks for the third time in order to advance in the playoffs. When did Lakshmi Singh become Michele Tafoya? Have they changed the name to ESPNPR? Excuse me, but on NPR the only report I should hear about competition between Seahawks and Rams should reference the environment and Charles Darwin, not a football game.
I'm rooting for George Mason and LSU tomorrow, and if both win, I just hope the floor has been specially reinforced to accommodate Jai Lewis and Big Baby together on the same court Monday.
LSU's Tyrus Thomas has gone from off the board before the tournament to the top of some NBA draft projections. He is a thrilling athlete to watch, especially with his Kellen Winslowesque getting off the deck performance against Duke, but I don't know why you take him over Adam Morrison. Then again Morrison might just be the next Mike Dunleavy. Dunleavy signed a five-year $44 million contract extension last fall and has really earned it by averaging 11 points this season. Thomas reminds me most of Antonio McDyess, who had a similar run in the 1995 NCAA's with Alabama. McDyess was taken second overall in the draft that spring, but after a promising start to his career, knee injuries have reduced him to a journeyman reserve, now with the Pistons.
Wizards with the big gutcheck win Tuesday night at Sacramento to guarantee at least a .500 on their West Coast road trip. The Wiz hadn't won there in 10 years and Gilbert Arenas was out with the flu, but Caron Butler stepped up and scored 23 points. Butler left the game after a flagrant foul from the Kings' Kenny Thomas opened a cut in his head that needed six stitches to close. Lots of Thomases figured in this game as Etan Thomas chipped in 12 and Billy Thomas celebrated his second week with Washington by matching his career high with 14. Billy Thomas is 30 years old and just played his 30th game in the NBA. That is dedication.
I don't care what Major League Baseball finds when they investigate steroids. I agree with Keith Olbermann, who said that this is happening because several sponsors have threatened not to participate in the Barry Bonds home run record promotions. Nor should they. Bonds' pursuit of the record is a travesty, and I will repeat what I said earlier about Bonds. Just don't pitch to him. Ever. Maybe he will go away.
Opening Day is Monday in Baltimore. Real sportswriters will cover the game in person. Good for them. I will bring you the riveting perspective of the game as seen from my couch.
Speaking of which, that wailing and gnashing of teeth you hear coming from Baltimore is the sound of local sportswriters learning that nude model Anna Benson is filing for divorce from her husband Kris, who signed with the Orioles in the offseason.
As opposed to the reaction of the movie critics clamoring for the "Basic Instinct 2" assignment, not because they want to see the movie, but because they can't wait to rip it to shreds in their review.
I guess Sharon Stone's career turned out to more than a flash in the pan (pun definitely and gleefully intended, as always).
Can "Ice Age 2" beat "Basic Instinct 2" in a battle of the sequels for box office supremacy this weekend? In what may become a regular Friday feature, let's play "Guess the Gross." This has nothing to do with my friend Daniel Gross, the noted business writer and blogger, who recently made Al Franken laugh on the air with a Nixon joke. Quick breakdown: "Ice Age" has been hyped relentessly for months, beaten into our skulls everytime we turn on the TV to watch the Super Bowl, American Idol or the NCAA Tournament, but for some reason my kids, who are dead center in the target market zone, are not clamoring to see it. Also, the weather is finally getting nice, and the last place I want to go is the movie theater. "Basic Instinct 2" will do better on DVD than in the theater because it's one of those movies that nobody will admit they want to see, but I'll go ahead and predict a mild upset: $35 million for BI2 to $30 million for IA2.
That's it for me, rack me, I'm out.
I Blog Therefore I Am
Today is the birthday of Rene Descartes. In recognition of this momentous occasion, I would like to share my favorite Descartes joke.
Rene Descartes is sitting in his seat on an airplane. The flight attendant approaches him and asks, "Coffee or tea?" Descartes replies, "I think not," and he disappears.
You will likely be relieved, but not necessarily surprised, to learn that this is the only Descartes joke I know. Also, should you ever find yourself unable to answer an essay question on a Philosophy 101 final exam, I do not recommend writing down this joke in lieu of an actual answer. Philosophy professors are notorious for their lousy sense of humor.
Rene Descartes is sitting in his seat on an airplane. The flight attendant approaches him and asks, "Coffee or tea?" Descartes replies, "I think not," and he disappears.
You will likely be relieved, but not necessarily surprised, to learn that this is the only Descartes joke I know. Also, should you ever find yourself unable to answer an essay question on a Philosophy 101 final exam, I do not recommend writing down this joke in lieu of an actual answer. Philosophy professors are notorious for their lousy sense of humor.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Terrible Tuesday
Tough to say who had a worse night on Tuesday, Andre Braugher's character, Nick Atwater, in "Thief," or the contestants on "American Idol." If you taped or TiVOed "Thief" and haven't watched it yet and, like Frank Costanza, you like to go in fresh, then I suggest you stop reading (yes, this means you, Greg).
"Thief" began as you would expect, with Atwater leading his gang in a bank heist. Like all the protagonists of F/X dramas, he is exceptionally proficient in his chosen vocation and lives by a certain moral code, but his personal life and his job keep colliding until they combust. So, while he seemed relatively content and unruffled by little blips on the radar screen for the first fifteen minutes of the show, his life got flushed faster than a junkie's stash after the first commercial break.
Over the course of the one hour episode, Atwater's loving and lovely wife is killed in a car accident (at least we think it's an accident, but don't be surprised if we find out later it was a hit), Atwater shoots and kills a member of his gang (he shot in self-defense, but his teenage stepdaughter saw him do it), and unknown to Atwater, an Asian underworld crime boss has sent an ruthless enforcer halfway across the country to seek vengeance on him for stealing his money, even though Atwater returned it. Oh, and a corrupt local cop played by Michael Rooker will be helping the enforcer do his dirty work. Rooker, who I remember best as Ellen Barkin's homicidally jealous husband in "Sea of Love" and in the title role of "Henry, Portrait of a Serial Killer," is going to be a lot of fun to watch in this role.
So, I am locked on to "Thief" for the remainder of the season, even if it seems like the writers went a little overboard already. I mean, even Andy Sipowicz got to spend at least a season married to Sharon Lawrence before they whacked her. Then they killed off Jimmy Smits and Andy, Jr. just when father and son were finally getting along, but after that, the "NYPD Blue" writers went soft, gave Sipowicz the hot blonde girlfriend and even let his cute kid survive until the show went off the air.
Speaking of cute kids, the performances on American Idol made me remember why I never watched the show before my offspring made it "must-see-TV" in our house. I found myself nodding in agreement every time the even more dyspeptic than usual Simon Cowell opened his mouth. I wonder at what point, if any, the producers will tell Simon to stop badmouthing every single contestant. Before I get into specific performances, let me say that I think the one-hour format really worked against the contestants. Once you made time for commercials, intros, critiques and Simon-Paula and Simon-Ryan catfights, each singer was left with maybe two minutes to actually sing, not nearly enough time to take a song through any kind of emotional continuum.
Lisa was fine but as usual nothing special, and Simon almost made her cry. Kellie eschewed my suggestons of Faith Hill or Shania Twain and twanged her way through something called "Suds in a Bucket" by someone named Sara Evans. Now, I used to be quite the country music fan - I've got the Farm Aid 3 tape to prove it - but I have never heard of Sara Evans or any of the eight albums she has released. Next, Ace took a shot at Train's "Drops of Jupiter," a song that was so overplayed even the deaf community got sick of it. Ace's limited vocal ability (my younger son asked, "He's not going to do that squeaky voice is he? I hate that." Well said, my boy, well said.) sounded even worse when he pulled his shirt aside to show a scar as he sang a line about, yep, a scar. We can only hope that next week he doesn't choose to sing Chuck Berry's "My Ding-a-Ling" (although, Paula might be interested). The Big Three (in my book anyway) Taylor, Mandisa, and Chris, failed to wow me, probably because the dog started barking during Taylor's song and wouldn't let up until I took her out while Chris raged through yet another hard rock number. I've never been a Katharine fan, and her performance didn't change my opinion. She has a nice voice but has obviously been taken to the limit of her ability by her mother the voice coach. Just as people like to say that Duke basketball players don't succeed in the NBA because Coach K maxes out their potential (an erroneous theory, but that is for another day), Katharine cannot get to the next level. Bucky settled hard into his comfort zone with Tim McGraw, but mumbled as if his hat were covering his mouth and not just his eyes. Simon crushed him by saying this would be the point where he would walk out of the concert; or, turn off the television, I said to myself. And while I am sure there are some seventeen-year old girls who could handle Beyonce's "Work it Out," Paris is not one of them. Her cutesy persona and heliumized voice are more than her substantial singing voice can dispel to make this kind of material happen. Maybe I would be more willing to accept her if she started hanging with 50 Cent. Elliott wrapped it up with the second song of the night that I knew, but of course I know the Bo Bice version from last season's American Idol CD, not the original by Gavin DeGraw. So, if you took the under on my over-under of four in the "songs that I would know" bet, go ahead and cash that ticket.
On Wednesday, the surprise was not Lisa's exit, about which she seemed more relieved than upset, but Katharine's presence in the bottom three. At this point, I see Ace, Katharine, Bucky, and Paris going out in order before America has to make some tough choices. Bucky might even beat Paris because America likes country music more than most of us are willing to admit. A few years ago, when Billboard reconfigured its ratings system to reflect radio play and sales, country music artists took a quantum leap up the pop charts. By the way, for those of you who have been wondering exactly what a FitzFact is, go back and read that last sentence. An authoritative statement that sounds plausible in its explanation of some phenomenon and is not easy to disprove unless someone who hears it happens to be an expert in the field and calls the speaker on his complete lack of real knowledge on the topic, yes, that's what we are all about here at FitzFacts.com.
"Thief" began as you would expect, with Atwater leading his gang in a bank heist. Like all the protagonists of F/X dramas, he is exceptionally proficient in his chosen vocation and lives by a certain moral code, but his personal life and his job keep colliding until they combust. So, while he seemed relatively content and unruffled by little blips on the radar screen for the first fifteen minutes of the show, his life got flushed faster than a junkie's stash after the first commercial break.
Over the course of the one hour episode, Atwater's loving and lovely wife is killed in a car accident (at least we think it's an accident, but don't be surprised if we find out later it was a hit), Atwater shoots and kills a member of his gang (he shot in self-defense, but his teenage stepdaughter saw him do it), and unknown to Atwater, an Asian underworld crime boss has sent an ruthless enforcer halfway across the country to seek vengeance on him for stealing his money, even though Atwater returned it. Oh, and a corrupt local cop played by Michael Rooker will be helping the enforcer do his dirty work. Rooker, who I remember best as Ellen Barkin's homicidally jealous husband in "Sea of Love" and in the title role of "Henry, Portrait of a Serial Killer," is going to be a lot of fun to watch in this role.
So, I am locked on to "Thief" for the remainder of the season, even if it seems like the writers went a little overboard already. I mean, even Andy Sipowicz got to spend at least a season married to Sharon Lawrence before they whacked her. Then they killed off Jimmy Smits and Andy, Jr. just when father and son were finally getting along, but after that, the "NYPD Blue" writers went soft, gave Sipowicz the hot blonde girlfriend and even let his cute kid survive until the show went off the air.
Speaking of cute kids, the performances on American Idol made me remember why I never watched the show before my offspring made it "must-see-TV" in our house. I found myself nodding in agreement every time the even more dyspeptic than usual Simon Cowell opened his mouth. I wonder at what point, if any, the producers will tell Simon to stop badmouthing every single contestant. Before I get into specific performances, let me say that I think the one-hour format really worked against the contestants. Once you made time for commercials, intros, critiques and Simon-Paula and Simon-Ryan catfights, each singer was left with maybe two minutes to actually sing, not nearly enough time to take a song through any kind of emotional continuum.
Lisa was fine but as usual nothing special, and Simon almost made her cry. Kellie eschewed my suggestons of Faith Hill or Shania Twain and twanged her way through something called "Suds in a Bucket" by someone named Sara Evans. Now, I used to be quite the country music fan - I've got the Farm Aid 3 tape to prove it - but I have never heard of Sara Evans or any of the eight albums she has released. Next, Ace took a shot at Train's "Drops of Jupiter," a song that was so overplayed even the deaf community got sick of it. Ace's limited vocal ability (my younger son asked, "He's not going to do that squeaky voice is he? I hate that." Well said, my boy, well said.) sounded even worse when he pulled his shirt aside to show a scar as he sang a line about, yep, a scar. We can only hope that next week he doesn't choose to sing Chuck Berry's "My Ding-a-Ling" (although, Paula might be interested). The Big Three (in my book anyway) Taylor, Mandisa, and Chris, failed to wow me, probably because the dog started barking during Taylor's song and wouldn't let up until I took her out while Chris raged through yet another hard rock number. I've never been a Katharine fan, and her performance didn't change my opinion. She has a nice voice but has obviously been taken to the limit of her ability by her mother the voice coach. Just as people like to say that Duke basketball players don't succeed in the NBA because Coach K maxes out their potential (an erroneous theory, but that is for another day), Katharine cannot get to the next level. Bucky settled hard into his comfort zone with Tim McGraw, but mumbled as if his hat were covering his mouth and not just his eyes. Simon crushed him by saying this would be the point where he would walk out of the concert; or, turn off the television, I said to myself. And while I am sure there are some seventeen-year old girls who could handle Beyonce's "Work it Out," Paris is not one of them. Her cutesy persona and heliumized voice are more than her substantial singing voice can dispel to make this kind of material happen. Maybe I would be more willing to accept her if she started hanging with 50 Cent. Elliott wrapped it up with the second song of the night that I knew, but of course I know the Bo Bice version from last season's American Idol CD, not the original by Gavin DeGraw. So, if you took the under on my over-under of four in the "songs that I would know" bet, go ahead and cash that ticket.
On Wednesday, the surprise was not Lisa's exit, about which she seemed more relieved than upset, but Katharine's presence in the bottom three. At this point, I see Ace, Katharine, Bucky, and Paris going out in order before America has to make some tough choices. Bucky might even beat Paris because America likes country music more than most of us are willing to admit. A few years ago, when Billboard reconfigured its ratings system to reflect radio play and sales, country music artists took a quantum leap up the pop charts. By the way, for those of you who have been wondering exactly what a FitzFact is, go back and read that last sentence. An authoritative statement that sounds plausible in its explanation of some phenomenon and is not easy to disprove unless someone who hears it happens to be an expert in the field and calls the speaker on his complete lack of real knowledge on the topic, yes, that's what we are all about here at FitzFacts.com.
Mailbag Night Football
Tony Kornheiser was back on the air this morning after a trip to Orlando for the NFL winter meetings. He read the following email:
Dear Mr. Tony,
Welcome back. Hope you had a nice time. I have a few questions:
1. Did Art Modell show up, just out of habit? Was he wearing a camel hair coat?
2. Were Dan Snyder and Steve Bisciotti allowed to sit at the grownup table this year?
3. Who has the better plastic surgeon, Jerry Jones or Barry Manilow?
3. At dinner, did you have to stand on a chair and sing the Harper College fight song? Do you know the Harper College fight song?
4. Who went to bed earlier, you or Ralph Wilson?
Bill
Phoenix, MD
For the record, Mr. Tony's answers were:
1. (Silence)
2. Yes they were.
3. Jerry Jones. When you get close to him he looks almost lifelike.
4. There is no Harper College fight song.
5. That's a tough call, might have been me.
Another devoted TK fanatic known to me only as Alan in Chattanooga has show archives in MP3 format. If you would like to hear today's mailbag click here. Mine is about a third of the way through the clip. If it doesn't work, it's because I know nothing about technology. If it does, props to Alan.
Dear Mr. Tony,
Welcome back. Hope you had a nice time. I have a few questions:
1. Did Art Modell show up, just out of habit? Was he wearing a camel hair coat?
2. Were Dan Snyder and Steve Bisciotti allowed to sit at the grownup table this year?
3. Who has the better plastic surgeon, Jerry Jones or Barry Manilow?
3. At dinner, did you have to stand on a chair and sing the Harper College fight song? Do you know the Harper College fight song?
4. Who went to bed earlier, you or Ralph Wilson?
Bill
Phoenix, MD
For the record, Mr. Tony's answers were:
1. (Silence)
2. Yes they were.
3. Jerry Jones. When you get close to him he looks almost lifelike.
4. There is no Harper College fight song.
5. That's a tough call, might have been me.
Another devoted TK fanatic known to me only as Alan in Chattanooga has show archives in MP3 format. If you would like to hear today's mailbag click here. Mine is about a third of the way through the clip. If it doesn't work, it's because I know nothing about technology. If it does, props to Alan.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
After Idol, the Braugher Hour
Because, as a friend of mine is fond of saying, "Life is TV," I'll be watching the debut episode of "Thief" tonight on F/X at 10:00. Over the past few years, I have gotten hooked on the F/X Tuesday night at 10 lineup. "Nip/Tuck," "Rescue Me" and, especially, "The Shield" have become regular stops in my channel surfing. I came to all of these shows midway through their first seasons, almost by accident, but I am tuning in to "Thief" from Day One because of Andre Braugher, who has the title role.
Braugher became a favorite of mine when, as Detective Frank Pembleton, he stalked the streets of Baltimore, searching for murderers in "Homicide, Life on the Street." More accurately, he put suspects in "The Box" and, through the brute force of his personality, interrogated them into submission followed by confession. Late in the run of this series, he even forced a fellow detective to admit to a point-blank assassination of a drug kingpin. Even as he questioned the existence of God, Pembleton embodied righteous justice with an Old Testament attitude minus the vengeful wrath. When they brought him out of retirement in the "Homicide Life Everlasting" TV movie reunion special, he was teaching ethics at a Jesuit college. You know, just like your average retired cop.
I've never found Braugher as captivating since although he was pretty strong in the short-lived "Gideon's Crossing." He was memorable in a bad way in the disastrous 2000 karaoke movie, "Duets," with Paul Giamatti, Gwyneth Paltrow and that master thespian, Huey Lewis. How exactly did this movie get pitched? "Easy Rider" meets "Star Search?" (this was pre-American Idol. Yes, such a time did exist) A middle-aged salesman in a dead-end job throws it all away to pursue his lifelong dream of becoming a national karaoke champion? Not exactly Rocky Balboa. I can't fault Giamatti for taking this role on ("American Splendor" and "Sideways" were still a few years off), but Paltrow was coming off an Academy Award in "Shakespeare in Love." Not surprisingly, Lewis delivers a solid performance as a crackerjack karaoke man. And Braugher somehow pulls off a riveting "Free Bird," but Laurence Olivier, Peter O'Toole and Katharine Hepburn could not have salvaged such a flawed premise. If I had paid money to see it in a theater, it might have replaced "Howard the Duck" as my all-time worst movie in that category.
Back to Braugher. His best characters ooze moral authority, so it will be interesting to see how he brings that quality to bear in the role of a career felon. The other dramas in the F/X stable have deconstructed a firefighter who struggles with addiction and the post-9/11 world, a corrupt cop who finds going straight is not going to work either, and a pair of plastic surgeons whose material and personal needs keep obfuscating their noble goals. "Thief" will no doubt try to show duality and generate empathy for Braugher's character. And if the show has the same quality of writers as the others, there will be plenty of dark humor, always the best kind.
If reading this intrigues you but it's too late to tune in, don't worry, F/X will probably show it at least four more times before next Tuesday, so you will have plenty of opportunities to catch "Thief."
Braugher became a favorite of mine when, as Detective Frank Pembleton, he stalked the streets of Baltimore, searching for murderers in "Homicide, Life on the Street." More accurately, he put suspects in "The Box" and, through the brute force of his personality, interrogated them into submission followed by confession. Late in the run of this series, he even forced a fellow detective to admit to a point-blank assassination of a drug kingpin. Even as he questioned the existence of God, Pembleton embodied righteous justice with an Old Testament attitude minus the vengeful wrath. When they brought him out of retirement in the "Homicide Life Everlasting" TV movie reunion special, he was teaching ethics at a Jesuit college. You know, just like your average retired cop.
I've never found Braugher as captivating since although he was pretty strong in the short-lived "Gideon's Crossing." He was memorable in a bad way in the disastrous 2000 karaoke movie, "Duets," with Paul Giamatti, Gwyneth Paltrow and that master thespian, Huey Lewis. How exactly did this movie get pitched? "Easy Rider" meets "Star Search?" (this was pre-American Idol. Yes, such a time did exist) A middle-aged salesman in a dead-end job throws it all away to pursue his lifelong dream of becoming a national karaoke champion? Not exactly Rocky Balboa. I can't fault Giamatti for taking this role on ("American Splendor" and "Sideways" were still a few years off), but Paltrow was coming off an Academy Award in "Shakespeare in Love." Not surprisingly, Lewis delivers a solid performance as a crackerjack karaoke man. And Braugher somehow pulls off a riveting "Free Bird," but Laurence Olivier, Peter O'Toole and Katharine Hepburn could not have salvaged such a flawed premise. If I had paid money to see it in a theater, it might have replaced "Howard the Duck" as my all-time worst movie in that category.
Back to Braugher. His best characters ooze moral authority, so it will be interesting to see how he brings that quality to bear in the role of a career felon. The other dramas in the F/X stable have deconstructed a firefighter who struggles with addiction and the post-9/11 world, a corrupt cop who finds going straight is not going to work either, and a pair of plastic surgeons whose material and personal needs keep obfuscating their noble goals. "Thief" will no doubt try to show duality and generate empathy for Braugher's character. And if the show has the same quality of writers as the others, there will be plenty of dark humor, always the best kind.
If reading this intrigues you but it's too late to tune in, don't worry, F/X will probably show it at least four more times before next Tuesday, so you will have plenty of opportunities to catch "Thief."
21st Century Idol on Fox
Songs from the 21st century tonight on American Idol, so as a 39-year old man, I am setting the over-under on songs performed tonight that I will know at 4. Taylor must be at a complete loss because he has not done a song yet that was written in the last 30 years. I was hoping Chris would cover a Nirvana tune, but then I realized that would be 20th century. Ace will have his choice of former boy-band singers turned solo artists. Kellie will go with either Shania Twain or Faith Hill, not that I'll know the difference. Likewise, Bucky should take a shot - and it may be his last - at either Brad Paisley or Travis Tritt. Paris and Lisa will choose songs that they first heard in elementary school. Whatever Mandisa does will be great and vice-versa for Katharine. When Elliott performs, I'll be too busy checking on the progress of the AI makeover to notice his song.
Reviews tomorrow.
Reviews tomorrow.
Department of Corrections and Apologies
It has been brought to my attention by "Bayou Bengal" that I erred when I wrote that LSU basketball coach John Brady's wife is a former stripper who danced under the name Misty Champagne. Her name is Misty Champagne, and my recollection is that I heard the stripper information from a guest on the Tony Kornheiser show, but it's quite possible that I did not and the facts spun into falsehood in my conversations with friends and on message boards. I would like to sincerely and deeply apologize to the Brady family as well as to Mrs. Brady's parents. I regret the error, and I am still cheering for LSU to reach the national finals against George Mason.
Patriots Game
No posts yesterday because I spent most of the day writing up my experience attending the George Mason - Connecticut game on Sunday. The short version: The best live sports event I've ever seen. Cal Ripken's record-breaking game used to occupy this spot and while it has greater historic significance, the GMU game moves ahead because my sons were there with me. The long version (Warning: it's a very long version, a veritable FitzFacts War and Peace) is at SportsFanMagazine.com.
Friday, March 24, 2006
Friday Folderol
Since I don't get much of a chance to blog on the weekends, I am going to try to throw out a few (brief) items that have been bouncing around my empty head this week.
Shiny, Happy Road Trip
The Wizards got off to a good start on their West Coast road trip last night, beating Utah 109-97 on a night when the Jazz unveiled a Karl Malone statue and retired his number. Utah could not deliver a victory for the Mailman, however, as balanced scoring from Arenas, Jamison and Butler (31, 27 and 27 points respectively) and a team-record 16 three-pointers set just the right tone for the trip that includes five games in the next eight days. Currently in the number five slot in the Eastern conference, the Wizards would be well served to wrest the first-round homecourt advantage away from Cleveland, but to do that, they'll need a Western swing that would make George Strait proud.
Hammer Time
"Hello?"
"Hi, is this voteforthe worst.com?"
"Yes."
"Yes, we have a gentleman on the line who would like to speak with you. It's a Mr. Hammer, first name M., middle name C."
After devoting several paragraphs to VFTW the other day, I feel it's pretty safe to say that this is a story that is over. Done like Katie Holmes acting career. The elimination of Kevin Covais, something of a stunner since he was not even in the bottom three the week before, pretty much destroys what little credibility VFTW had. They are jumping over to Kellie Pickler, but I don't see how she is more qualified for the VFTW endorsement than several other contestants. Anyway, that should be the last you hear about VFTW from me.
I was surprised that Kevin was the last man standing on Wednesday because I thought his performance on Tuesday was decent. I did have Bucky and Lisa in the bottom three, though. So the question is, as in presidential primaries, where do Kevin's votes go? To the other teenyboppers, Lisa and Paris? To the other goofy white guys, Taylor and Elliott? Will another contestant suddenly develop a lisp to capture the niche vote? I guess we will have to wait and see.
Brackets, brackets, brackets
I'll give a full rundown of the Fitz family bracket standings on Monday, but I wanted to note that my Sweet 16 Mascot Bracket was looking pretty good for a while last night. Both Tiger teams took care of business (I am fully on board the LSU bandwagon now. And did everybody get a good look at John Brady's wife, Misty, during the game last night?) Unfortunately, it was very close, but no cigarillo in both late games.
Tough losses for J.J. Redick and Adam Morrison, but nobody is sadder than the executives at CBS. Ratingswise this could be worse than Michelle Kwan pulling out of the Olympics.
I went to bed before the UCLA comeback over Gonzaga. I wish I had seen it, but I am really sorry I missed seeing UCLA's Arron Afflalo pick Morrison up off the floor after it was over. CBS must have missed it, too, because I can't find any video of that moment on their website. That's the kind of clip I want ESPN to run over and over again, instead of showing Morrison lying on the court crying, let the tape roll until we see the guy whose been trying to guard him all night come over and help him to his feet. That would be my Play of the Day nominee.
Journalism
After walking the dog this morning, I had a few minutes before the "get the kids to school" parade began, so I opened up my Baltimore Sun. The biggest story on the front page - above the fold, with a large color photo - was a follow-up on a very sad event last December in which two kids who had played together on the Johns Hopkins University lacrosse team went out drinking and ended up in a single-car accident that killed the passenger but left the driver uninjured. The headline, "Family Not Torn Asunder," and the one sentence summary before the article implied that this would be an in-depth look at the impact of this tragedy on the families of the victim and the survivor as well as the team. Instead, we got a poorly written and edited mishmash of an article that did little more than scratch the surface of what could have been an excellent story.
The crucial aspect of the story, the response of the victim's family, is what makes it interesting. That the family "sought to limit the charges" against the driver, that the father came and spoke to the team before this season began, that the driver is now an assistant coach at Princeton (which Hopkins played a few weeks ago), the Sun got these parts right, but there were no quotes from the driver or his family (only his attorney) and nothing from anyone on the team except the coach. Instead, we got a statement from the police report, a dissection of the charges, including quotes from a legal expert and a Mothers Against Drunk Driving advocate, which seemed tangential at best.
Now, those with real journalism experience might say that there wasn't enough time to do all that, or that there wasn't enough space, but this was not a story with a deadline. The accident happened in December, the driver is being sentenced in May, the season started a few weeks ago, I don't see why there wasn't more time to investigate and write this story. And when you run something prominently placed on the front page, there should be plenty of room on the inside to give all the context. It's quite possible that only the defending attorney spoke because the driver and his family did not want to or were advised against it, and maybe the coach told the team that he would be the spokesman, but the article doesn't tell us that either.
Disclosure time. I worked in fundraising for the JHU athletic department from 1997-2002 and consider many of the people still there my friends. I did not really know the guys in this story at all, but I think that the Sun's superficial coverage does a disservice to both of them and to the Sun's readers. There might be a great story here, but the Sun sure didn't tell it.
Writing
Initially, after I read the Sun story, I thought maybe I just wasn't in the mood for it, maybe my expectations were too high, like when you go to a movie that everyone has been saying is great, and you walk out wondering what all the fuss was about. Maybe I wasn't really in the mood to read. But then I sat down at the computer and dropped by Erin O'Brien's blog. Erin is a blogger who shares my enthusiasm for the writings of Larry Brown. If you visit her website, you will notice rather quickly that Brown and blogging are the only two things we have in common. She can flat out write a sentence though. Warning, if you are offended by profanity, vulgarity or the sexual musings of a thoroughly unrepressed Irish-American, please do not click here.
Have a nice weekend!
Shiny, Happy Road Trip
The Wizards got off to a good start on their West Coast road trip last night, beating Utah 109-97 on a night when the Jazz unveiled a Karl Malone statue and retired his number. Utah could not deliver a victory for the Mailman, however, as balanced scoring from Arenas, Jamison and Butler (31, 27 and 27 points respectively) and a team-record 16 three-pointers set just the right tone for the trip that includes five games in the next eight days. Currently in the number five slot in the Eastern conference, the Wizards would be well served to wrest the first-round homecourt advantage away from Cleveland, but to do that, they'll need a Western swing that would make George Strait proud.
Hammer Time
"Hello?"
"Hi, is this voteforthe worst.com?"
"Yes."
"Yes, we have a gentleman on the line who would like to speak with you. It's a Mr. Hammer, first name M., middle name C."
After devoting several paragraphs to VFTW the other day, I feel it's pretty safe to say that this is a story that is over. Done like Katie Holmes acting career. The elimination of Kevin Covais, something of a stunner since he was not even in the bottom three the week before, pretty much destroys what little credibility VFTW had. They are jumping over to Kellie Pickler, but I don't see how she is more qualified for the VFTW endorsement than several other contestants. Anyway, that should be the last you hear about VFTW from me.
I was surprised that Kevin was the last man standing on Wednesday because I thought his performance on Tuesday was decent. I did have Bucky and Lisa in the bottom three, though. So the question is, as in presidential primaries, where do Kevin's votes go? To the other teenyboppers, Lisa and Paris? To the other goofy white guys, Taylor and Elliott? Will another contestant suddenly develop a lisp to capture the niche vote? I guess we will have to wait and see.
Brackets, brackets, brackets
I'll give a full rundown of the Fitz family bracket standings on Monday, but I wanted to note that my Sweet 16 Mascot Bracket was looking pretty good for a while last night. Both Tiger teams took care of business (I am fully on board the LSU bandwagon now. And did everybody get a good look at John Brady's wife, Misty, during the game last night?) Unfortunately, it was very close, but no cigarillo in both late games.
Tough losses for J.J. Redick and Adam Morrison, but nobody is sadder than the executives at CBS. Ratingswise this could be worse than Michelle Kwan pulling out of the Olympics.
I went to bed before the UCLA comeback over Gonzaga. I wish I had seen it, but I am really sorry I missed seeing UCLA's Arron Afflalo pick Morrison up off the floor after it was over. CBS must have missed it, too, because I can't find any video of that moment on their website. That's the kind of clip I want ESPN to run over and over again, instead of showing Morrison lying on the court crying, let the tape roll until we see the guy whose been trying to guard him all night come over and help him to his feet. That would be my Play of the Day nominee.
Journalism
After walking the dog this morning, I had a few minutes before the "get the kids to school" parade began, so I opened up my Baltimore Sun. The biggest story on the front page - above the fold, with a large color photo - was a follow-up on a very sad event last December in which two kids who had played together on the Johns Hopkins University lacrosse team went out drinking and ended up in a single-car accident that killed the passenger but left the driver uninjured. The headline, "Family Not Torn Asunder," and the one sentence summary before the article implied that this would be an in-depth look at the impact of this tragedy on the families of the victim and the survivor as well as the team. Instead, we got a poorly written and edited mishmash of an article that did little more than scratch the surface of what could have been an excellent story.
The crucial aspect of the story, the response of the victim's family, is what makes it interesting. That the family "sought to limit the charges" against the driver, that the father came and spoke to the team before this season began, that the driver is now an assistant coach at Princeton (which Hopkins played a few weeks ago), the Sun got these parts right, but there were no quotes from the driver or his family (only his attorney) and nothing from anyone on the team except the coach. Instead, we got a statement from the police report, a dissection of the charges, including quotes from a legal expert and a Mothers Against Drunk Driving advocate, which seemed tangential at best.
Now, those with real journalism experience might say that there wasn't enough time to do all that, or that there wasn't enough space, but this was not a story with a deadline. The accident happened in December, the driver is being sentenced in May, the season started a few weeks ago, I don't see why there wasn't more time to investigate and write this story. And when you run something prominently placed on the front page, there should be plenty of room on the inside to give all the context. It's quite possible that only the defending attorney spoke because the driver and his family did not want to or were advised against it, and maybe the coach told the team that he would be the spokesman, but the article doesn't tell us that either.
Disclosure time. I worked in fundraising for the JHU athletic department from 1997-2002 and consider many of the people still there my friends. I did not really know the guys in this story at all, but I think that the Sun's superficial coverage does a disservice to both of them and to the Sun's readers. There might be a great story here, but the Sun sure didn't tell it.
Writing
Initially, after I read the Sun story, I thought maybe I just wasn't in the mood for it, maybe my expectations were too high, like when you go to a movie that everyone has been saying is great, and you walk out wondering what all the fuss was about. Maybe I wasn't really in the mood to read. But then I sat down at the computer and dropped by Erin O'Brien's blog. Erin is a blogger who shares my enthusiasm for the writings of Larry Brown. If you visit her website, you will notice rather quickly that Brown and blogging are the only two things we have in common. She can flat out write a sentence though. Warning, if you are offended by profanity, vulgarity or the sexual musings of a thoroughly unrepressed Irish-American, please do not click here.
Have a nice weekend!
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