Gilbert's Got a Gun

When Gilbert Arenas first became a Washington Wizard in 2003, I had very little knowledge of him as a player and less as a person. As his star rose so explosively over the next few years, I came to admire and enjoy his game while also being entertained by his personality. I rooted for him to come back from his injuries and bring some success to the Wizards, for my own benefit but mostly so that my kids would have a team to root for like I did for the Bullets in their brief heyday. Now, I kinda wish they hadn't paid any attention to the Wiz. In any case, here are my thoughts (read/sing this one aloud in your best Steven Tyler voice).

Gilbert's Got a Gun

Gilbert's got a gun
Gilbert's got a gun
He says it's just for fun
Not so says Crittenton
What did Javaris do?
Did he beat aces over twos?

But Gilbert hasn't been arrested
Instead he played in last night's game
Suspension was a comin'
Now that Gilbert's got a gun
The Wiz ain't never gonna be the same

Gilbert's got a gun
Not DeShawn Stevenson
His Twitter page is overrun
Pay lawyers' work's undone
Are the stories all untrue?
Will the fans start to boo?

Said he tried to protect his baby
The man's got to be insane
It's an unforgiveable blunder
Trade him to the Thunder
The Knicks, the Nets or the Ukraine

Gilbert's got a gun
His time in DC's done
Make him a Phoenix Sun
I'd rather have Attila the Hun
What will David Stern do?
Will we bid Gilbert adieu?


The whole thing makes me queasy
We're lucky someone wasn't slain
Don't know which story to believe in
But no matter how it ends up
We'll still tune in and watch the game