Letterman made sure to acknowledge McCain's heroic service to his country before stomping him like so many bunches of Zinfandel. Dave's been known to hold a grudge (see Winfrey, Oprah), so don't be surprised if tonight's Late Show features the "Top 10 Real Reasons Why John McCain Cancelled." My version would be as follows:
10. Couldn't remember which house he left his car keys in.
9. Went lipstick shopping with Sarah Palin (favorite shade: Red State Red).
8. His wife, Cindy McCain, prefers Last Call with Carson Daly.
7. Straight Talk Express bus driver forgot his EZ Pass and got stuck in traffic.
6. Found out Paul Shaffer is Canadian and can't vote in the election.
5. Didn't want to miss "Dancing with the Stars" results show (rooting for Cloris Leachman, natch.)
4. Furious when he found out the trip would not include one last
game at Yankee Stadium.
3. Went over to Joe Biden's house to watch reruns of FDR's televised speeches.
2. Too stunned by Clay Aiken's coming out to appear in public.
1. Luke Russert told him that smart people watch Katie Couric, not David Letterman.