FitzFacts

Tribe, by a pug whisker

2010-01-20T11:15:00.000-05:00

Things are getting pretty tight all around in the Bog Poll. Might be unfair to drop Georgetown two spots because of a close loss at Villanova, but William and Mary has won four straight and ODU's win at Georgetown still pulls weight. Virginia Tech's resume is beginning to tarnish as losses at UNC and Florida State look worse and wins over Miami and Seton Hall are more meh than yeah. ACC as a whole is looking at a down year.

Richmond is pushing hard, but has to get a little more consistent on the road (4-5) to challenge for the A-10 title and an NCAA at-large bid. Tony Bennett has the Cavaliers bamboozling opponents with his slowdown, defense first style. And I am sure that Terps fans are howling about a #8 ranking but I see them about the same as VCU, struggling for steady play. Big drop to GW at #9, who has to be better than La Salle, even on the road, if they want us to believe their improvement will take them further than a return to just the Atlantic 10 Tournament. Any further slipups by the Colonials or Morgan State will precipitate a reappearance by George Mason or the debut of Radford in the Bog Poll Top 10.

For the record, the pithy comments below are the direct result of spending Monday at Valley Forge. More on this later in the week, perhaps.

1/18/10
1. William and Mary (14-3)
If the Tribe doesn't go down the tubes soon, I expect to hear Pat Robertson predict a typhoon in Williamsburg.
2. Old Dominion (14-5)
Won their fifth straight game, taking down Drexel, the only Division I school that rhymes with Nick Van Exel.
3. Georgetown (13-3)
Austin Freeman, Greg Monroe and Chris Wright possess on-court chemistry not seen in Washington since Warren, Brennan and Frankfurter.
4. Virginia Tech (13-3)
Hokies make an impression with a win over Miami but the impression fades with a loss at Florida State, leading to an unimpressive week.
5. Richmond (14-5)
Spiders beat UMass and La Salle, so why can't I get the Paul Simon lyric "shades of mediocrity" out of my head?
6. Virginia (11-4)
Suddenly Charlottesville is a Top 25 slaughterhouse, the Abattoir of the ACC.
7. VCU (12-4)
Rams win at Hofstra, get another victory by beating the traffic on the Long Island Expressway.
8. Maryland (11-5)
Greivis Vasquez can shimmy all he wants but the Terps can't shake their NIT label.
9. GW (11-5)
Aaron Ware's 16 points against La Salle were no match for the Explorers' Aaric Murray's 21 aas the Colonials fell aapaart aagainst their aadversiaries in aan aagonizing aadventure.
10. Morgan State (11-7)
Just trying to get my head around the fact that the Bears beat a team with a player named Arsenio.

Empathy for the Steroid Devil

2010-01-15T11:35:00.001-05:00

Everyone has something to say about Mark McGwire this week. In my lifetime, I have seen the East German female Olympic swimmers, Ben Johnson, Lyle Alzado, and it seems that every sport has been affected by legal and illegal performance-enhancing drugs. Which should really come as no surprise because sports is about competition and part of competition is about looking for an advantage. Because of that, athletes are going to keep cheating and sports governing organizations have to keep trying to catch them. Somewhat coincidentally, I had something of an eye-opening experience this week that led me to a tangential thought on this topic.

Up until about 18 months ago, I considered myself to be in reasonably good physical shape for a person my age, which will be 43 in a few weeks. Not a triathlete by any stretch, but my annual doctor visit usually ended with a gold star on my chart. Then I tore my ACL. I had it repaired surgically - not arthroscopic with the pretty lasers and the freckle-sized scars, but the kind with the really sharp knife that leaves the big, bumpy stripes you can show people. It sucked, it hurt, but I did all the prescribed rehab (also sucked and hurt) and wore the proper braces and took the precautions per doctors' orders.

Once released from the formal regimen of a licensed physical therapist, I had to get back to exercising. I did some swimming last summer, but that resolve faded somewhere in mid-July. Thoughout the fall, I procrastinated about resuming any kind of real workouts because the knee wasn't supposed to be full strength until a year after the surgery, which was November. You know, then it's the holidays, snow, ice, it's too cold, I'm lazy, I think I might be getting sick, the dog doesn't like it when I sweat...

Never been much of a New Year's resolution guy, but when a desk cleaning unearthed an exercise routine I had followed and enjoyed in the past, I dragged out the dumbbells and got on the treadmill. Worked out Tuesday - felt good. Worked out Wednesday, different muscle group focus - felt good. Woke up yesterday - exhausted. Had a pretty good night's sleep Wednesday, but there was not enough coffee in the world to keep me going, and the muscles complained about doing things like driving and scratching. So I took the day off from physical exertions, but I am hoping to get back to it today.

And this is where my performace enhancement empathy comes in. I'm not talking about the 23-year old who adds 30 pounds of muscle in the offseason so he can compete for a defensive end position. I'm talking about the aging baseball player who starts to notice how much tougher it is to make it through the West Coast road trip. As the money has gotten bigger and bigger, adding a couple years to a career means millions of dollars. Weight training and conditioning have become more and more important and at some point, you just can't get the same benefits. Me, I can take a day off because I know my body needs it and not worry about losing my job, but these guys are always being pushed by the next guy.

Now, I am not saying I think that athletes should be allowed to take performance-enhancing drugs. But there's an old Chris Rock routine where he talks about the rage OJ Simpson must have felt when he saw Ron Goldman driving around Los Angeles in a Ferrari OJ had bought for Nicole. The laugh line was something like, "I'm not saying he killed her, but I could understand." So when he comes to aging athletes crossing the line so they can hang on a little longer, well, I can understand.

Onscreen and on my mind

2010-01-13T08:49:00.005-05:00

Continuing my "Blogging Frenzy" this week, let's turn from sports to popular entertainment. (Warning: massive amount of text to follow).

Movies
Saw "Avatar" with the kids over the holidays, taking in the full 3-D IMAX experience and enjoyed it very much. Long at nearly 2 1/2 hours, but riveting enough that none of us were willing to take a bathroom break. James Cameron created a world of rich beauty and texture that you could almost smell on the screen, but that could have just been the patchouli wafting from the youngsters in front of me. Special effects is too small a concept to adequately describe the technical achievement, but I also enjoyed little nods and details like Sigourney Weaver as the scientist who smokes and curses but also mothers the Na'vi children and her fellow scientists, at one point forcing Jake Sully to eat something before he returns to his alternate reality. Also, the fighting equipment Weaver donned at the end of "Aliens" returns to a more nefarious purpose. And the almost drunken exhilaration Sully feels when he first inhabits his Na'vi body, freed from the bonds of paraplegia, brought chills and a smile.

I know there's been a lot of fuss about the politics of this movie, to which I would reply, "It's a movie." It's not a documentary, and I felt well entertained for the cost of the tickets. And if you find it so offensive, console yourself with the thought that Cameron might wait another 12 years to make a sequel.

DVDs
"Imagine That" for the kids and "The Hangover" for the grownups. Not sure how we ended up with the former except that my 10-year old insisted on it, mainly to spite his 12-year old brother, who, shockingly, was not intrigued by the tale of a man whose job and relationship with his seven-year old daughter are rescued when he agrees to spend time in her imaginary world of princesses and dragons. Maybe the presence of Eddie Murphy in the lead role made it acceptable, based on the big laughs they got out of "Daddy Day Care" when it popped up on cable recently.

Far from the worst kids movie I've ever seen, "Imagine That" gets a charming and not just cute performance from Yara Shahidi as Murphy's daughter, Olivia. Thomas Haden Church does whatever it is that he does so well that it always makes for a bemused chuckle, this time as a Native-American shaman/fund manager. Throw in a great bit where Church tries to fuel his preteen son's "vision quest" with Red Bull and flat, awkward cameos from Allen Iverson and Carmelo Anthony, and you've got a solid 90 minutes of family entertainment. Very earnest, lots of blue skies and rainbows, but when the temps haven't cracked 33 in two weeks and the snow patches still dot the lawn, this is tolerable.

About the only thing "The Hangover" shares with "Imagine That" is a cameo appearance from a sports superstar. This one is for immature audiences only, as long as they are at least 18 years old. We get about 15 minutes of setup as four guys go to Vegas for a bachelor party. They arrive, settle in and gather on the hotel rooftop to toast the groom and the night of bacchanalia that awaits. As our heroes raise their glasses, the camera pulls aways to the brilliant nighttime skyline of Las Vegas and the party music fades up. Cut to the next morning, where the missing items include the groom and a tooth and the found items include a baby and a full-grown Bengal tiger. None of the remaining three musketeers can remember anything from the night before and outrageous hilarity ensues as we piece it together with them. Having been to Vegas for a bachelor party where nothing like this happened, I can say that not one note is struck falsely. Las Vegas as a film locale has an appeal that's been captured brilliantly in "Swingers" and, of course, "Honeymoon in Vegas," and "The Hangover" pulls off the difficult task of making it work for an entire movie. For the darker side of this aspect, see "Casino," "The Godfather" (I and II), and when you're ready for a real downer, "Leaving Las Vegas." For mostly misdemeanor fun, property damage and injuries fixed with a quick trip to the ER or a good dentist, check out "The Hangover."

TV
Still catching up with "Modern Family" episodes that I missed in the fall season. The only downside is that this usually leads me into "Cougar Town," which would be almost watchable without Courtney Cox in the lead and Josh Hopkins as the hunky(?) neighbor she seems destined to sleep with I'm guessing halfway thru Season 2, if the show makes it that far. Cox's annoying mania would work much better if they gave her some truly counterbalancing depression, but I'm guessing that would interfere with the concept of the show as a comedy, and I don't think she's got the acting chops to pull it off. A quick scan of the Hopkins resume reveals the source of my distaste: Ally McBeal, North Shore, Brothers and Sisters, Swingtown, Private Practice; and he's really boring. Almost a shame, because the rest of the cast (who doesn't love some Busy Phillips?) bring the funny.

More recent entries I have caught up with are "Men of a Certain Age" on TNT and "Blue Mountain State" on Spike. The former has been well received critically, and since I am a man approaching that titular era of my life, I thought I'd look in. Plus, it has Andre Braugher, who I'd watch on infomercials if, God forbid, he ever made any. Also Ray Romano, who I didn't hate on his big hit, and Scott Bakula, who I've never been able to convince myself didn't play Starbuck on the original "Battlestar Galactica." So, I've seen bits and pieces, and most of last night's episode, "Go With the Flow." For starters, really bad title for the episode, which invokes the terrible commercials for flomax, etc. Maybe that's the joke. What we get is Romano telling the guys about his reentry into the dating world, which includes a black eye. Having been happily married for almost 15 years, I can't really identify with this one, not even vicariously, and the eventual explanation of the black eye doesn't live up to the buildup, sort of a summation of my feelings about the show.

Romano's character has kids a little older than my own, and there have been some nice moments of his interaction with them that resonate with me, but his marriage fell apart because of his gambling problem and he also has a business to run. Not much there for me because if the gambling addiction doesn't destroy him utterly and completely, I might not find it believable. Braugher's character is also a family man whose main main issues stem from his relationship with his father and his health, but I'll echo something I read (New Yorker, I think) that said it's hard to swallow him as a struggling car salesman. Just too much Jesuit bleeding through. As patchy as my empathy for those characters is, I am in another universe from Bakula's struggling almost once-was actor with little ambition beyond bedhopping.

Ultimately, this is a show about guys who hit the diner once a week or so to keep themselves anchored through a connection that predates everything else that is taking priority in their lives. For that, it's well done, but I don't see myself making it a regular stop on the basic cable circuit, and I think it will be retired long before these characters do.

So if I give "Men of a Certain Age" high marks for its effort at thoughtful, intelligent rumination, I have to give "Blue Mountain State" the same for the exact opposite. From Spike TV, the home of Manswers, 1000 Ways to Die, and a steady dose of mixed martial arts programming, comes the sweet, soothing tale of a college football program where young men are mentored and nurtured physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as they journey into adulthood and become responsible members of society. Start with the opening credits, a fetishistic fanfare of muscleboys donning football equipment juxtaposed with comely co-eds removing various undergarments, both found in their natural environments of athletic fields, locker rooms and strip clubs. And beer. Also Ed Marinaro, the only Heisman runner-up currently working in television today. Although the noise from my treadmill obscured most of the dialogue, I think this is a show best watched with the sound off, or, better yet, dubbed in a foreign language. Think "American Pie" meets "Varsity Blues" without the funny parts or sympathetic characters. Sprinkle in all the euphemisms for sex, drugs, alcohol, and bodily functions basic cable will permit, and there's your show. "Seinfeld" dubbed itself a show about nothing, but I think that title truly belongs to "Blue Mountain State."

Playoff wins are so yummers!

2010-01-12T12:53:00.000-05:00

Okay, how 'bout a little Ravens today? I was only able to watch the first and fourth quarter of the game Sunday, but really that was about twice as much time as it took to settle this thing.

About a month ago, I assessed the Ravens' chances of making the playoffs at 25% and their chance to advance at 10%, so kudos to them for coming up real big. Part of my assessment was to recommend that they run more on offense and blitz more ondefense, taking their chances with a weak and injury-addled secondary. Not that this is so original, but they seemed to take those tactics to an extreme on Sunday against the Patriots.

Now, it helps when you score 24 points to your opponent's zero in the first quarter, but even if you look at the playcalling in that period, the ground game predominated. After Ray Rice's astonishing 83-yard touchdown run on the first play from scrimmage, Baltimore ran six straight times before Joe Flacco threw incomplete twice. They scored on the next drive combining four rushes with two pass plays and ended the quarter with two more runs and an incomplete pass. So at the end of the first, the Ravens had rushed 13 times for 112 yards and Flacco was 1-4 for 13 yards to McGahee and had avoided a sack for a one yard rush. That 3-1 run to pass ratio had ballooned to 5-1 by the end of the game, a number I don't think I've ever seen from a team not running the triple option.

On the defensive side, the Ravens beat one of the top QBs in the league for only the second time this season. And, sure, it helped that Tom Brady was hobbling around and didn't have Wes Welker to throw to, but Baltimore's pass rush forced three turnovers in the first quarter on some very unBrady type plays: Terrell Suggs forced a fumble from the blind side on a rush we've seen Brady step up to avoid countless times; then facing a blitz from Jarret Johnson, instead of thowing the ball harmlessly to the sideline, Brady fired it over the middle right to Chris Carr; the third pick came on a nice play by Dominique Foxworth to tip the ball away from a Patriot receiver to Ed Reed. But, that's just unlucky, not unBrady, right? Umm, no. Unlucky and unBrady are actually listed as synonyms in the NFL Style Book.

So, moving ahead, how do the Ravens stack up against Indy Saturday night? Going back to their meeting earlier this season, a 17-15 Colts' win in Baltimore, the Ravens did not sack Peyton Manning but did force two interceptions, and gave up just under 300 yards passing (okay, 299, but still). Playing without Suggs, the defense certainly did its job, and I would be happy with a similar effort Saturday night. On offense, the Ravens must run the ball as well as they have been recently and get into the end zone. Any game where you attempt six field goals is going to be tough to win. Still, it's hard to see them getting stoned on three attempts from the one yard line again.

So, in summary, never count the Ravens out even when the odds seem stacked against them, win streaks don't mean anything, and Ray Rice, Ray Rice, Ray Rice.

Hoyas, Hokies, Hahaha!

2010-01-11T11:01:00.001-05:00

Virginia Tech had a tremendous opportunity to step to the head of the Bog Poll class, but could not withstand UNC's shooting and depth in Chapel Hill yesterday, so the nod goes to Georgetown, who put down UConn with a steely performance down the stretch on Saturday. William and Mary stumbled badly at home against UNC Wilmington, and the rest of the CAA teams struggled in the opening of conference play. On the other hand, Maryland and Virginia bolstered Big Conference cred with impressive wins. Richmond and GW need to improve to push the A-10 past the CAA and the final spot in the poll is absolutely up for grabs. This week it goes to Morgan State strictly on strength of schedule.

1/11/09
1. Georgetown (12-2)
The only way to improve Austin Freeman's performance against UConn would be to have Morgan Freeman voice over the highlights. "I always knew Austin could shoot the trey, but until that game, I never knew just how many he could make." Also, have Clint Eastwood direct the clip.
2. Virginia Tech (12-2)
That thunderous scratching sound you just heard was Associated Press voters crossing the Hokies off their Top 25 ballots.
3. William and Mary (12-3)
Andrew Pavloff has made 100 percent of his free throw attempts this year, but David Schneider has to ring a bell every time Pavloff steps to the line.
4. Old Dominion (12-5)
Monarchs shoot 20-for-60 from the field and 14-for-34 from the line against Hofstra and still win. Insert Gilbert Arenas, Plaxico Burress or Dick Cheney joke here.
5. Maryland (10-4)
After the first big drop, the roller coaster goes shooting up another incline to dizzying heights on its way to a series of corkscrews just before it screams into a stretch of stomach-churning peaks and valleys for the exhilarating finish! The Terrorpin Train is definitely my favorite ride in Garyland! So much better than the the Friedgen Funhouse!
6. Richmond (12-5)
Chris Mooney blames road losses on flight delays. Should probably take James Carville off the travel party list.
7. Virginia (9-4)
There hasn't been this much excitement in Charlottesville since Izod merged with Lacoste.
8. VCU (10-4)
Rams' future in this poll more uncertain than Jimmy Fallon's at NBC
9. GW (11-4)
Colonials get their calendar mixed up, instead of No Pants Metro Ride Day, celebrate No Second Half Offense Day against Xavier.
10. Morgan State (9-7)
Hoping that the Bears' six-game road trip inspires a Kerouacesque return of Blogging with Boze.

Gilbert's Got a Gun

2010-01-07T14:45:00.000-05:00

When Gilbert Arenas first became a Washington Wizard in 2003, I had very little knowledge of him as a player and less as a person. As his star rose so explosively over the next few years, I came to admire and enjoy his game while also being entertained by his personality. I rooted for him to come back from his injuries and bring some success to the Wizards, for my own benefit but mostly so that my kids would have a team to root for like I did for the Bullets in their brief heyday. Now, I kinda wish they hadn't paid any attention to the Wiz. In any case, here are my thoughts (read/sing this one aloud in your best Steven Tyler voice).

Gilbert's Got a Gun

Gilbert's got a gun
Gilbert's got a gun
He says it's just for fun
Not so says Crittenton
What did Javaris do?
Did he beat aces over twos?

But Gilbert hasn't been arrested
Instead he played in last night's game
Suspension was a comin'
Now that Gilbert's got a gun
The Wiz ain't never gonna be the same

Gilbert's got a gun
Not DeShawn Stevenson
His Twitter page is overrun
Pay lawyers' work's undone
Are the stories all untrue?
Will the fans start to boo?

Said he tried to protect his baby
The man's got to be insane
It's an unforgiveable blunder
Trade him to the Thunder
The Knicks, the Nets or the Ukraine

Gilbert's got a gun
His time in DC's done
Make him a Phoenix Sun
I'd rather have Attila the Hun
What will David Stern do?
Will we bid Gilbert adieu?

The whole thing makes me queasy
We're lucky someone wasn't slain
Don't know which story to believe in
But no matter how it ends up
We'll still tune in and watch the game

Tribe Still Rules

2010-01-06T19:07:00.002-05:00

William and Mary's non-upset upset at College Park keeps them atop the poll. Is there another team in the country that has beaten two ACC teams at home this year? Georgetown starts the very tough Big East schedule with two solid wins after falling to Old Dominion. Virginia Tech is getting no national recognition, but a win at Carolina this Sunday would almost certainly do the trick and get the Hokies into the Top 25. After the top three, my rankings are a pudding of five teams in search of themselves, still. If any of them (VCU, ODU, GW, Maryland and Richmond) get their act together, they can contend for an NCAA bid. After that are the surging Virginia Cavaliers and Loyola Greyhounds who need to keep winning to stay in the unfamiliar territory of my Bog Poll Top 10.

1/4/09
1. William and Mary (10-2)
In modern revisions of the classic fable, "The Tortoise and the Hare," the tortoise is defeated by the pug, the wren, and the phoenix.
2. Georgetown (11-1)
John Thompson wisely passes up Gilbert Arenas' invitation to the weekly Verizon Center poker game.
3. Virginia Tech (12-1)
In just two short years, Dorenzo Hudson has gone from vomiter to victor, from hurler to hero, from puker to preeminent-three point shooter. Talk about your boot and rally.
4. VCU (9-2)
Rams led UNC-Wilmington 51-17 in the second half last week. When was the last time a team had triple its opponent's points in the second half? Paging Marty Aronoff ...
5. Richmond (11-4)
Spiders starting to fade like Charlotte after the State Fair. Pass the tissues please.
6. Old Dominion (9-5)
Monarchs are unbeaten at home, unlike Tiger Woods, if that email I got last week is to be believed.
7. Maryland (9-4)
Terps lose to William and Mary, key recruit Terrence Ross decommits and, since bad things happen in threes, I can only guess that Greivis Vasquez go back to the white sneakers with yellow laces look he sported earlier this season.
8. GW (10-3)
Not many coaches have the courage to schedule such a brutal Boston road trip with stops at Harvard and Holy Cross, but Karl Hobbs has never been one to duck the tough opponents. At 5'8'', he doesn't have to. (Ouch, two cheap shots in one pithy comment!)
9. Virginia (7-4)
Cavaliers defeated UAB despite 27 points and 11 rebounds from Elijah Millsap, whose game fortunately resembles neither the Prophet Elijah's nor Ronnie Millsap's.
10. Loyola (8-5)
Greyhounds win at Indiana was the biggest upset the Hoosier State has seen since Jimmy Chitwood's teammates refused to run the picket fence against Muncie Central (/Simmonsed).

Tribe, Indubitably

2009-12-16T08:49:00.003-05:00

Really hard to believe that William and Mary pose the greatest threat to Georgetown for the top spot in this poll, but the Tribe have earned their spot. Playing at Radford next week will be tougher than you might think, but at Maryland the following week won't be a shock, after all, W&M beat Wake at Wake.

Virginia Tech could also sneak up on the Hoyas as the Hokies schedule is Charmin-soft until they get Seton Hall leading into ACC play. The next four (VCU, Richmond, Maryland, GW) have consistency issues but are much more squared away than ODU and Morgan. After that, there are about five teams struggling around .500 vying for the 10-spot. This week, that one goes to Mason.

12/14/09
1. Georgetown (8-0)
Hoyas likely to win more games in December than the entire NFC East.
2. Willam and Mary (6-2)
This Saturday, the Tribe plays Vassar, a school whose most notable athletic achievement to date is the hosting of the first intercollegiate Quidditch match.
3. Virginia Tech (8-1)
Hokies won a game by two points when Penn State missed a last-second shot. Somebody get me a copy of the Virginia Tech charter because I'm pretty sure that's a violation of the school's founding principals.
4. VCU (6-2)
Beat Richmond in The Battle of a Major Thoroughfare That Was at One Time Named After Jefferson Davis.
5. Richmond (7-2)
During the Civil War, the Battle of Richmond took place in Richmond, Kentucky, which explains why the Richmond Spiders looked lost against VCU.
6. Maryland (5-3)
The return of Dino Gregory to the Terps' lineup had the same impact that "Christmas with Dino" had on my family's tree-trimming festivities. Enjoyable, with some moments of sparkling entertainment, but not essential.
7. GW (7-2)
In the category of Most Effective Washington Area Athletes You've Never Heard Of, Lasan Kromah was just overtaken by Quinton Ganther.8. Old Dominion (6-4)
Monarchs split a pair, always a good strategy with aces or eights at the blackjack table, not so good in college basketball.
9. Morgan State (6-4)
After Tuesday's game against Towson, the Bears go on the road for seven straight. Maybe Todd Bozeman should get scheduling advice from someone other than Fang Mitchell.
10. George Mason (5-5)
Beat Creighton and lost to Dayton. Impossible to predict how they'll fare against Bo Bayton and Fee Fi Mo Mayton.

Can the Ravens make the playoffs?

2009-12-11T10:06:00.000-05:00

Probably not ...
About two weeks ago, I assessed the Ravens' chances to make the playoffs and came up with the astute proclamation of "definitive, absolute probably." A home win over the Steelers and a road loss to the Packers later, I have to downgrade that evaluation to about 25% and if they do get in, their chance to advance is about 10%. Tackling the first part of that statement, the Ravens almost certainly have to win the remaining games on their schedule: Lions, Bears, at Steelers, at Raiders. Since none of those teams have .500 records or upper echelon quarterbacks, that seems entirely possible.

Assuming they win out and go 10-6, the Ravens have to count on either the Jaguars (7-5) or Denver (8-4) to stumble down the stretch. Baltimore wins a tiebreaker with the Broncos, but Jacksonville's 6-2 conference record leaves the Ravens out if both teams end up 10-6 because the Jags AFC record would then be 9-3, which Baltimore can't reach from its current mark of 6-4. Jacksonville has to play Miami, Indianapolis, at New England and at Cleveland. There's also a chance that the Patriots go 10-6, lose the AFC East tiebreaker to the Dolphins but win the tiebreaker with the Ravens because they beat Baltimore earlier this season. And I haven't (and won't) consider the prospect of tiebreakers with the 6-6 Jets or Dolphins.

So, lots of pieces have to fall into place. Tactically speaking, I'd like to see the Ravens run the ball more. A lot more. Flacco is clearly struggling, and if pounding opponents with a running game worked last season, it should work even better with a more experienced Ray Rice and a strong offensive line. If McClain is healthy, give him the ball 10 times. He looked very good against Pittsburgh. Ditto for McGahee, 10 carries. Keeping Ray Rice at his season average of 15 carries per game, that gives you 35 running plays plus the occasional end around to Clayton or Troy Smith, who has carried nothing but a clipboard this season. Granted, that's about 10 more running plays than the Ravens are averaging this season, but it would go a long way towards taking pressure off of Flacco and might help sell some play action passes. Other than that, Flacco needs to take some more shots down the field, to the point where he throws the ball away to the deep sideline instead of quickly checking down to Rice or Heap as he seems to have done more often of late.

On defense, the Ravens have to keep blitzing and live or die with the results. The DBs have to stop grabbing every receiver that runs through their zone. All year long, they have gotten beaten by good QBs (Manning, Palmer, Brady, Favre, Rivers, Rogers) and a few RBs but there's no sense in sitting back and waiting for the punishment. As the injuries mount, it's hard to believe this unit can stop a playoff caliber offense, but, on the other hand, they won't play a playoff caliber team for at least a month.

So, the Ravens are mathematically alive and, in vision tinted by purple-colored glasses, still have a decent shot to be playing in the postseason. So don't pack away the purple camo just yet, but you might have some January weekends available for skiing getaways this year.

Hoya Eterna

2009-12-07T21:53:00.004-05:00

Week 3 in the Bog Poll finds Georgetown still up top after easy wins over AU and the Mount. William and Mary announces that the Colonial Athletic Association championship road runs through Colonial Williamsburg with a win over VCU, and Richmond and Virginia Tech keep pace. VCU needs to rebound over Richmond this week, and, don't look now, but GW is playing a lot like the good teams that Hobbs had a few years ago before it all blew up in his face. Maryland has lost to three good teams, but they have not really looked competitive on the boards or on defense (plus Vasquez has been bad, bad, bad). The bottom three in the poll are pretty weak, but less weak than Virginia and Mason, who need to get over .500 for any consideration.
1. Georgetown (6-0)
Georgetown-American game marred by Michaele Salahi's attempt to join the cheerleading squads' halftime routines.
2. Willam and Mary (6-2)
Founded in 1693, William and Mary's streak of 316 years without an appearance in the NCAA Tournament could be in jeopardy this year.
3. Richmond (7-1)
Justin Harper was hotter than Justin Bieber in the Spiders' win over Old Dominion. Readers who are not prepubescent girls can be forgiven for not getting that reference. I cannot be forgiven for writing it.
4. Virginia Tech (6-1)
The funny thing about Virginia Tech beating Georgia is that Seth Greenberg is a great admirer of the artist Georgia O'Keefe, whose powerful abstract images of the American Southwest make Greenberg long for his hometown of Plainview, Long Island. Did I mention that my wife is also from Plainview?
5. VCU (5-2)
Lose to William and Mary? Time for Shaka Smart to switch to Shaka Zulu mode!
6. GW (6-1)
Foggy Bottom, stand up! You know, because this is your stop ... you get off here, right ... Foggy Bottom - GWU ... hurry up, the doors are closing.
7. Maryland (5-3)
Terps. As in terpsichorean, defined by my Websters to mean of or relating to dancing. Hmm, not unless they get their act together. Also, in the time it took you to read that, Scottie Reynolds knocked down another three.
8. Old Dominion (5-3)
Monarchs beat the Blue Hens, who played as if they practice with blue balls, which, for their sake, I sincerely hope they do not.
9. Morgan State (5-3)
Bears lost to crosstown rival Loyola, largely because Jimmy Patsos decided to sit on his bench and coach his team for the entire game.
10. James Madison (4-3)
In their three losses, the Dukes have scored in the forties. Actor John Wayne, also nicknamed the Duke, also scored in the forties. Born in 1907, I'm guessing he scored in several other decades in the 20th Century.

Gate Crashers - No, not those knuckleheads!

2009-11-30T16:31:00.003-05:00

Week Two of the Bog Poll sees two unfamiliar names dangerously near the top of the Bog Poll. Two names but one school, so that would be William and Mary, which jumped from unranked to #3, largely on the strength of a major upset at Wake Forest. Now I know Wake was only picked sixth in the ACC preseason poll, but winning in Winston Salem makes this doubly impressive. Richmond also had a very good week beating Missouri and Mississippi State in the South Padre Island Invitational, but the 6-1 Spiders only rose to #4 because their lone loss is to ... William and Mary.

The Hoyas claim the top spot based on their undefeated record, a mark that will be much more impressive if they keep it against the likes of Butler and Washington over the next few weeks (no offense to Mount Saint Mary's tonight). VCU advances to #2 with medium wins against Nevada and at Hampton.

Slots five thru ten are a big blob of meh starting with the Terps, who need to get Greivis Vasquez on track and soon. If they do, memories of their Maui struggles will fade like a rainbow, but right now Greivis is shooting 33% from the field and 26% from three, not good numbers from the guy who leads your team in field goal attempts. ODU went to the same tournament as Richmond but came away with two losses, not exactly legitimizing their status as champions of the 2009 Collegeinsider.com postseason tournament. Virginia Tech blew a chance to move up with a lackluster output against Temple, losing 61-50 after trailing 27-17 at the half. Perhaps of even greater concern, the Hokies needed overtime to beat Delaware the following night.

Morgan beat the bad big name (2-4 Arkansas) but stumbled against an average App. State squad. Still, the Bears are averaging more than 80 ppg with leading scorer Reggie Holmes at 23.7. Might have to go see him in person. GW got starry-eyed in the presence of the president and spotted Oregon State a 14-0 lead, but the Colonials might have to be taken seriously this year, for a change. And Virginia clung to its ten spot by beating Cleveland State, but the Cavs will have to hold off challenges from outliers George Mason, James Madison, Loyola and the Mount.

11/30/09
1. Georgetown (4-0)
Hoyas' position atop this poll about as secure as a White House State Dinner.
2. VCU (4-1)
Larry Sanders has 14 blocks this seasons, three more than the Redskins' starting left tackle.
3. Willam and Mary (4-2)
Wake Forest students so upset by Demon Deacons' loss, they take to the streets and burn massive bales of tobacco.
4. Richmond (6-1)
Spiders win the South Padre Island Invitational; Chris Mooney celebrates by taking his top off in the postgame press confrence.
5. Maryland (4-2)
Terps score some Maui Owie on their trip to the Hawaiian Islands.
6. Old Dominion (4-2)
Monarchs drop two at South Padre Island. I said two, not trou.
7. Virginia Tech (4-1)
Hokies split a pair in Philly, get booed by Eagles' fans.
8. Morgan State (4-2)
If you had Morgan beating Arkansas and losing to Appalachian State this week, you are really wasting your time reading this poll.
9. GW (4-1)
Colonials get their first loss of the season, Obama get his first clear win in just over a year.
10. Virginia (4-2)
Cavaliers win the consolation game in the Cancun Challenge, a contest that strangely did not require the consumption of any tequila.

Playoffs? Don't talk about playoffs!

2009-11-24T10:43:00.006-05:00

Now that the fitzfacts is (are?) back, let's ponder an important local sports question:

Q: Are the Ravens a playoff team?

A: Sure, but there are at least 12 teams still in the mix for six AFC spots, and the Ravens are in the middle to bottom of that group, so I wouldn't start brewing that Super Bowl Sunday pot of purple chili just yet. After a blazing 3-0 start, Baltimore has been inconsistent in every phase of the game, so much so that talk radio hosts must be getting a headache from the constant changes of subject from week-to-week. They pass too much, they run too much, they need to blitz more, they need to cover better, they need to stop getting penalties, the kicker must go, Paul Kruger should play, Willis McGahee should play more, it just goes on and on because every week something seems to go wrong, and the Ravens either lose a close game (four of the five losses were by 3 points or fewer), or they don't win as convincingly as they "should" (16-0 over Cleveland, with no first half touchdowns).

Four times, they have scored 30 points or more, and they rank fifth in the conference in ppg. Six times, they've held opponents under 20, and they rank sixth in the AFC in that category. But again, the inconsistency makes it very difficult to truly assess their chances and impossible to predict.

Fortunately, every other team in the conference, except the 10-0 Colts, has had similar issues. In the AFC North, the Bengals looked fearsome early on but fell apart against the hapless Raiders last week. The Steelers have weathered some tough injuries and may have quarterback problems, but they couldn't stop the Browns last week, whom the Ravens have beaten twice by a total score of 50-3.

In the East, New England's defense is going to have to prove themselves now that their coach exposed his lack of confidence in that unit against the Colts. At 5-5, Miami's best win is against the 4-6 Jets, and I don't have much faith that Rex Ryan getting more involved in the Jets' offense is going to help that team's production.

Out West, Denver's 6-0 start is in ashes, while San Diego appears poised to take the division. The Chargers are easily the best team the Ravens have beaten this year, and that game came down to the final play.

In the South, the Colts have distanced themselves from the stumbling Texans, who have lost two straight and play at Indy next. Jacksonville looks solid at 6-4, but they lost to Seattle and Tennessee, neither of who has a winning record. Speaking of the Titans, Vince Young has revived both his team and his career in the last month, but the 0-6 hole they dug themselves makes it hard to believe they can get to the playoffs.

So, the bottom line is that the Ravens have lost five games to four teams that are winning their respective divisions. Except for the game at Cincinnati, every contest has been close, so there's no reason to think they can't compete against any team they play. Taking that line of thinking (I won't call it logic) one step further, they certainly can win enough games to get to the playoffs, and if they do get there, they should have a good shot to advance.

So the answer is a definitive, absolute probably.

Guess who's back? Bog is back!

2009-11-23T13:44:00.002-05:00

Getting a "better late than never start," the Bog Poll, orchestrated by Dan Steinberg, makes its return to the Washington Post today. As always, I'll be participating until I get bored with it. For the uninitiated, the poll ranks the 27 Division I men's basketball teams in Maryland, Virginia and D.C. Not surprisingly, Georgetown and Maryland are often near the top, but participating in the process has given me a new appreciation for schools like VCU and Morgan State. I also find myself watching UMBC-Loyola games with more enthusiasm than you'd think possible.

With the season underway, we find several teams still undefeated. Morgan's one loss came is a reasonably close game at Louisville and VCU bounced back from a bad loss at Western Michigan with a thorough beating of Oklahoma at home, so both of those teams stay ahead of some of the undefeated. Virginia and GW return from exile and, after a year where VMI and Liberty were a steady presence, the Big South has fallen hard (although Radford could climb in).

Without further ado:

1. Maryland (3-0)
Opened with a win against Charleston Southern. Will have to prove themselves in a tough stretch that includes Union Pacific, Burlington Northern Santa Fe and the Panama Limited.
2. Old Dominion (4-0)
Monarchs' leading scorer Gerald Lee is from Uusikaupunki, Finland, which is also the home of the Bonk Museum. Bonk Business is a fictional corporation that has produced amazing inventions such as bilateral wave transformation and the gnagg booster.
3. Georgetown (3-0)
John Thompson III coaching against Fran Dunphy in a game where the teams totalled fewer than 100 points. Was that Georgetown-Temple in 2009 or an ESPN 30-30 study of recent Ivy League Basketball history?
4. Morgan State (3-1)
Very disappointed in Todd Bozeman. Sure the Bears are 3-1, but no blog posts since March 6? And the only Todd Bozeman I can find on Twitter is a guy named Todd who lives in Bozeman, Montana? What happened to Coach Wired 2.0?
5. VCU (2-1)
Rams fans hoping that The Larry Sanders show doesn't jump the shark in its third season.
6. Virginia Tech (2-0)
Hokies beat Brown by 14 and UNC Greensboro by 13, but Tech fans know that buzzer beaters and last second losses await just as certainly as castrated turkey jokes at Thanksgiving.
7. GW (3-0)
Colonials at 3-0? Time for the Post to start sniffing around GW's recruiting trail.
8. Virginia (3-1)
"Cavaliers, this is the Bog Poll. Bog Poll, meet the Cavaliers. It's been a few years, so I'll let you two get reacquainted."
9. Richmond (3-1)
Spiders must have been looking past William and Mary to their matchup with perennial college basketball powerhouse, the Chattanooga Mocs.
10. George Mason (3-2)
Patriots drop two out of three in Puerto Rico, Jim Larranaga blames team's insistence on seeing a midnight screening of "The Twilight Saga: New Moon."

The Ravens: They're real, and they're spectacular!

2009-09-30T16:00:00.000-04:00

I don't often compare professional football teams to women's bodies, but weren't we all rubbing our eyes in disbelief as the Baltimore Ravens mauled the Cleveland Browns 34-3 on Sunday? After scoring an historic 69 points in the first two weeks of the season, Baltimore went out and did it again, and this time the defense joined the offense in totally dominating an opponent.

A few moments from the game stood out as to how completely the Ravens controlled the game from start to finish. Leading 27-3, Baltimore's first possession of the fourth quarter began at their own 30 yard line. In this situation, conventional wisdom calls for a time-consuming, run-oriented scoring drive, but the Ravens ran six straight pass plays and drove to the Cleveland 13. When they finally changed tactics and ran the ball, Willis McGahee fumbled, but it speaks volumes about John Harbaugh's confidence in his defense and Joe Flacco's ability that he went with the passing game at this point in the game.

Also of note, on the Ravens' three rushing touchdowns, McGahee and Ray Rice reached the endzone standing, nearly unimpeded by the Browns' defense, which crumpled under Baltimore's O-line and failed to pursue, leaving wide lanes to the outside.

Going into this game, the Ravens were already ranked number one in Sports Illustrated's Power Ratings, and this morning Bob Ryan picked them to face the Giants in the Super Bowl. Now, I am as excited as anyone about this team's potential, but let's take a look at the other side of the coin, just for fun.

First of all, the Browns are terrible. Brady Quinn and Derek Anderson were so awful, they might as well have had Brady Anderson playing quarterback on Sunday. Cleveland crossed midfield just one time in the first half and only got as far as the 44-yard line, and the second half featured three interceptions. To be fair, all three of the Browns' losses have come at the hands of undefeated teams; to be unfair, none of them have been close.

Now, back to the Ravens. They now have a dominant win over a vastly inferior team, a close win on the road against a playoff caliber team (San Diego), and a closer than the final score (38-24) win against a mediocre-at-best winless team (Kansas City). The defense looked very good last time out, but there would have been much hand-wringing if it had continued in the vein it as heading after the first two weeks.

So the true test comes now in the three weeks leading up to the bye in Week 7. The Ravens play at New England and Minnesota, with a home game against the resurgent Bengals. If they drop two or more of those games, suddenly they are just another team in the playoff hunt, with abundant question marks. Two wins keeps them in solid position atop the division, especially if they beat the Bengals. Three wins and we'll get two weeks of stories about the '72 Dolphins, the 2007 Patriots, and the great Colts teams of Baltimore.

Finally, about today's post title and accompanying photo. In 1993, Teri Hatcher was a modestly successful working actress whose career was highlighted by a recurring role as "Penny Parker" on the TV show "MacGyver." But after being cast as Sidra, Jerry Seinfeld's naturally and generously endowed girlfriend, she secured the role of Superman's girlfriend in the hit series, "Lois and Clark," and was catapulted to stardom as Susan Mayer in "Desperate Housewives." Now, you could argue that her success came as a result of talent and hard work, and I can't dispute that, but in just about any job search, you have to be able to get the attention of a prospective employer, and in a place like Hollywood, being known as the woman who embodied, "they're real and they're spectacular" probably counts for something. Taking nothing away from Teri Hatcher, some small percentage of her earnings should probably be directed toward Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, or Peter Mehlman, all of whom received writing credit for that episode.

Football, movies, what else is there?

2009-09-21T11:02:00.009-04:00

The Baltimore Ravens' defense went to such an extreme of the "bend but don't break" cliche Sunday, I felt like had tuned into an Advanced Pilates class on the Fitness Channel instead of an NFL game on NBC. The first four times the San Diego Chargers advanced inside the Ravens' 20-yard line, Baltimore tightened up and forced them to bring in kicker Nate Kaeding and settle for three points instead of six. San Diego's fifth foray into the red zone came to a dramatic, violent halt thanks to Ray Lewis, who crushed Darren Sproles (and the Chargers' last chance) on fourth down with a hit I haven't seen him make since taking on a door.

It was the kind of play that usually comes at the end of a Hollywood 97-minute macho melodrama about a group of scrappy lovable underdogs coming together to surmount internal and external obstacles to emerge victorious as champions. More on sports cinema magic later, but even though this was only the second game of the season, it was a cathartic, satisfying ending to a very entertaining game - for Ravens' fans anyway. I'm sure most coaches want to end a game with their offense grinding out a clock-killing drive while protecting at least a 10-point lead, but I'm equally sure most fans get greater enjoyment from a big play that delivers a win that was anything but certain prior to that moment. For many football teams, that play is a long touchdown pass, but for Ravens' fans, that play is more often made by the defense, and when Ray Lewis makes the game ender, well, you might as well have ripped a page out of a The Official Ravens Roost Handbook. That's the play that gets you out of your seat, causes hand-blisteringly intense high-fives and the occasional fist-pumping shoulder injury.

The Ravens went to San Diego as three-point underdogs, and while it's still early, this is a significant win for a team that has the Super Bowl in its sites. Certainly the Chargers have to be considered an upper-tier AFC team, so beating them on the road is a bit of a big deal, even when you factor in the absence of LaDainian Tomlinson and assorted offensive and defensive linemen due to injuries.

And of course Charger coach Norv Turner's ineptitude is always worth a few opportunities for the opponent. He doesn't give away the game, but he does leave it dangling in plain view. Two cases in point: at the end of the first half, he sent the field goal unit onto the field on third down with ten seconds left on the clock instead of trusting his veteran QB to either make a play or throw incomplete and leave time for the kicker. And his final call, on 4th and 2, was a handoff to Sproles, when his team had a total of 53 rushing yards and 463 receiving yards and distinct physical mismatches at wide receiver. Hard to argue that he didn't deserve the result.

The Ravens have now scored 69 points in their first two games, their highest in the first two games since they came to Baltimore. That's a completely irrelevant bit of trivia, so how about another one? The previous high was 55 points, which they scored in 2006 when they won the division and also in 2000, when, hello, they won the Super Bowl. So that's a fun, meaningless trend I'll be tracking until it becomes statistically anomalous.

For me the interesting thing about all these points is that the defense has scored none of them. Don't get me wrong, the defense has been pretty good. Most of the points in the Chiefs game came as a result of special teams and offensive miscues, but the Raven's defense of the past several years has been good for seven to ten points per game. Could be the loss of Rex Ryan as coordinator (and the departure of Bart Scott and Jim Leonhard), could just be coincidence, but the offense's ascent has come at the same time as a toning down of the defensive ferocity. Still, the results are there.

That's enough Ravens for today. Back to the movie subplot I mentioned earlier. Over the weekend, while my younger son was at a friend's house, the rest of us settled in for a nice wholesome family movie. Unfortunately, when you have a 12-year old boy in the house, it's sometimes challenging to find an agreeable selection, so eventually we gave up and chose something called "The Comebacks," a spoof of sports movies that earned every bit of its' PG-13 rating. There's no way I can recommend this fine film. It's so bad, the only suspense is in trying to figure out which movie or cliche was being mocked all the while cringing at the bombardment of sex jokes and racial stereotypes. Still, we all laughed and were thankful that it cost only $2.99.

The weekend's other movie moment came when I stumbled on the original "Bad News Bears." This one I can watch every time it's on, as opposed to the 2005 remake which I won't even dignify with a link. The team cheats, they lose, they exemplify poor sportsmanship and disrespect authority, their opponents and the game. The only concession to Hollywood sports mythology is that they come together as a team. They also have a lot of fun. I'll watch it every time.

Economic collapse

2009-09-09T10:26:00.006-04:00

Yesterday, I mused that I could bring the United States economy to its knees simply by applying my spectacularly specious speculative skills to a daytrading account, only to correct myself by assenting that the economy went into the toilet without any help from me at least a year ago. With the passage of the stimulus bill this summer, I thought I heard that we were at the "beginning of the end" of our economic troubles, so it came as quite a shock when I learned that the US economy has been knocked out of the top spot as the most competitive economy in the world. King of the rankings since they were established by the World Economic Forum in 2004, our five-year reign of supremacy has come to an end.

Oh, no! Has China finally risen to claim supremacy and declare the dawn of the apocalypse so artfully foretold in the Opening Ceremonies of the Beijing Olympics (What? That wasn't the central theme? Really? My fortune cookie from that night begs to differ). Actually, no, it's not China that took the top spot.

Then it's India, right? All those guys who provide technical support over the phone (Hello ...this ... is ... Mike ... nice ... to ... talk ... to ... you) finally cast off their headsets and rose up against the West with the rebellious flourish of a Bollywood closing number. Nope, not India either.

Okay, I know, it's the European Union, on a technicality, like when the EU caught up to the US by adding 10 new member nations last spring.

Nope, it's actually one nation that belongs to the EU ... Switzerland. Yep, Switzerland, that bastion of neutrality has an economy that is more competitive than the United States'.

Oh, come on! Switzerland? How can we be beaten by the Swiss? They don't even want to compete; they're neutral, the beige of nations. We might lose to the Swiss in just about every Winter Olympic event but we clean their clocks (pun intended) in the Summer Games. Fine, I'll give you Roger Federer, chocolate, army knives, bank accounts, clocks and cheese, but that's it. Do they even make cars in Switzerland? Well, to be fair, do we still make cars in the US? Switzerland doesn't even have a navy. Sure, it's landlocked, but let's not have any facts clouding my opinions.

Give Switzerland its due. It is the headquarters of many international organizations, including the Red Cross, the World Trade Organization, FIFA, the International Olympic Committee, and what's this, the World Economic Forum, which just so happens to come up with these rankings. I smell a little home cooking and it ain't the apple rosti.

You know what? I don't care who makes the rankings. If Swiss Miss thinks she can take out Uncle Sam, then I think I know just the guy to take care of her business:

Open Season

2009-09-08T13:59:00.004-04:00

Friday morning, the kids got on the bus, I turned to my neighbor and said, "Take the Terps and the points. Maryland beat Cal last year, and even though it's on the road, there's no way they'll lose by three touchdowns." Final score: Cal 52, Maryland 13. This is why I don't bet on sports.

Saturday, we went to the State Fair. One of our usual stops is the horse racing. It's a chance to sit down and relax, and the Doc never misses a chance to see horses in just about any environment. We watched three or four races, collected exactly $4.20 in winnings and one of the horses we picked broke down in the stretch and had to be helped into an ambulance.

With that kind of progression, I could probably open a daytrading account and bring the entire United States economy to the brink of bankruptcy in an hour or two. Whoops, too late!

So, I'm back on the blog, at least for now. And, what a coincidence, Mr. Tony is back on the air today as well. I'll be posting two or three days a week, about whatever seems to be crossing my mind.

Like the U.S. Open, for instance. Professional tennis was a major televised event in our house growing up. Bjorn Borg, Jimmy Connors, Arthur Ashe, John McEnroe, Chris Evert, Billie Jean King, these were well known names and faces, and I could probably rattle off another dozen or two without much thought. Of course, these days, I couldn't go more than five deep in men's or women's (Federer, Nadal, Roddick, Murray, uhh, the Williams sisters, Maria Sharapova, there's a Djokovic and a Jankovic (one's a guy and one's a girl, I think). Anna Kournikova doesn't count, so I guess I'm done.

So I'm watching some of these matches and while the tennis is impressive, I can't get too excited about the endless baseline battles with no one daring to approach the net. Fortunately, John McEnroe's commentary saves the day. During a match between Ernests Gulbis and Andy Murray, the lead announcer remarked that Gulbis was currently playing without a coach and had been known to play matches without warming up. "That's insane," was McEnroe's reply, and he went on to excoriate the lack of intelligence and professionalism that kind of thinking engendered. He went on to speculate that there were a few good coaches in New York Gulbis might want to contact while he was in town.

On the other hand, he clearly praised Gulbis when he made good plays. This is the kind of analysis you rarely hear on televised sports. Candid, direct and thoughtful. No cheerleading, no hysterical catch phrases, and yet still entertaining. McEnroe won't make you watch tennis if you're not already a fan. But he'll make me check in on a random match to see if he's calling it, and I'm likely to stay longer if he is. Because you never know when you'll see a clip like the following:

Top Bog Heavy

2008-12-09T20:24:00.002-05:00

No change in the Top Three this week as Georgetown and Maryland dominated American and GW, respectively, and Virginia Tech asserted itself over Navy just in time. The Mids made the big move to #4 because the loss to Tech was their first in eight games. By beating UVa, George Mason and William & Mary, Liberty can be included in a discussion of the best teams in Virginia. As can VMI, so here's hoping we get to see them on TV both times that they play. George Mason only has two losses (LIberty and Hampton), so the Patriots should be able to move up if those teams keep winning. VCU won just enough to claw back in, but GW appears to be in disarray and a good bet to fall back out. Virginia had better beat Longwood next week; if they don't, it could take a Tobacco Road sweep to get them back in the Top 10.

12/8/08

1. Georgetown (5-1)
After losing to Tennessee, Georgetown beat Maryland and American by a combined score of 148-97. Don't poke the Hoya, kids.
2. Maryland (6-2)
Landon Milbourne's supremacy over GW was more impressive than the Milbourne identity against Michigan, but my personal favorite was the Milbourne ultimatum against Youngstown State.
3. Virginia Tech (5-3)
Hanging on to the #3 ranking like Barack Obama clutching his last Marlboro.
4. Navy (7-2)
Coach Billy Lange has proposed changing academy motto of "from knowledge, seapower," to "from knowledge, three-pointers."
5. Liberty (6-2)
Flames snuffed at Clemson, which is big in the south, but not in the Big South.
6. George Mason (6-2)
Patriots' overtime loss at Liberty presents tremendous opportunity for political statement about Patriot Act and civil liberties that would have been so witty in 2003, but not so much now. Why couldn't they have lost to the Citibanks?
7. GW (3-2)
Karl Hobbs still weighing offer from the Obama Administration to become Undersecretary of Barely Controlled Rage.
8. VCU (5-3)
Larry Sanders is averaging three blocks per game; expect him to start at tackle for the Redskins next week.
9. VMI (6-2)
Keith Gabriel > Peter Gabriel > Roman Gabriel
10. Hampton (5-3)
Beat Howard 45-39 in Madison Square Garden; fortunately, Knick fans in attendance able to appreciate a game where the winner shoots 32%.

Bog Update

2008-12-03T15:26:00.004-05:00

Way too many Bog matchups going on to wait a whole week for an update, so here goes. #1 Georgetown's battering of #2 Maryland earned the Hoyas a nice break until they face #8 American on Saturday. G'town should coast but the Eagles are in a Bog do-or-die period for the next two weeks. After gagging at home against the Mount, they have games against #7 GW, UMBC and Maryland after they play Georgetown. Going to be tough for them to stay in the Top 10 if they go less than .500 in that stretch.

Speaking of the Terps, they can extend their Big 10 win streak to seven games against Michigan tonight. The Wolverines are 5-1, but only one impressive win (UCLA); still, when you've lost 20+ games three straight years, you take 5-1 and run. Maryland get's GW in the BB&T on Sunday, so 6-2 is just as likely as 4-4.

Beating Maryland could mean a big move up for the Colonials due to losses by UVa, VaTech, and #4 George Mason. To be fair, Tech nearly knocked off Wisconsin and the Hokies three losses have been by a total of seven points to quality teams. Still, they'd better take care of Navy on Sunday, or they could find themselves in the bottom half of the Top 10, or out altogether.

Virginia, on the other hand, is still reeling from its home loss to Liberty; that, and the fact that teams have figured out they'd better guard Sylven Landesberg. In the Cavs three wins, he had 28, 21, and 22 points; in their three losses, 17, 16, and 10. Fortunately, they've got a couple weeks to get ready for Longwood.

And what to make of Liberty? The Flames have beaten William and Mary, UVa, and George Mason, and freshman Seth Curry has shown flashes of big bro' Steph's jumpshot and big play demeanor. Having already played Montreat and Coker, Liberty should be able to pad its win total with contests against Anderson and Cincinnati Christian, but also has yet to face Clemson, St. Louis and Northern Colorado in its non-con. Hard to believe that the Bog Games of the Year could be the two between VMI and Liberty.

VMI fell out of my Top 10, but a home win against Winthrop tonight would certainly get them back on track. As for the rest of my Top 10, #5 Navy is another team with a chance to move up but Tech at Cassell will be tough sledding. #4 George Mason had better put the Liberty game behind them and get ready for CAA opener Drexel. #9 JMU should take note of recent Bog team "upsets" tonight and not take Longwood for granted. The Lancers have already got four wins this season.

Tonight, the TV is thick with Bog action. I'll be watching Maryland-Michigan, Towson-UMBC, Richmond-ODU, and even a little VMI-Winthrop.

Stephen Curry has a little brother

2008-12-01T21:52:00.009-05:00

Unbelievable. Two years ago in the NCAA Tournament, Stephen Curry announced his presence to the college basketball world with 30 points in Davidson's first round loss to Maryland. Last year his Wildcats came within a whisker of the Final Four. So when Steph's baby brother Seth graduated from Charlotte Christian high school last spring he must have been inundated with major Division I scholarship offers, right? Okay, he's maybe 6-1, 180, but big brother Steph has panned out pretty well, so surely none of the big schools wanted to miss on another Curry, right?

Wrong. Seth Curry is now a freshman at Liberty (#30 in the above photo, if you haven't figured it out already) in the mighty Big South conference, the home of March Madness bracket busters Winthrop and Coastal Carolina. And, don't look now, but the Liberty Flames are 5-1 with wins over Virginia, George Mason, and William and Mary, and their leading scorer is one S. Curry with 22 ppg. Granted, UVa is not Duke and George Mason is not Georgetown and the Flames' other two wins are against Coker and Montreat. The Big South is not even a mid-major, so Liberty will have to substantially improve its 0-1 conference record for Curry to match his brother's impact nationally, but something tells me that come March, plenty of major college assistant coaches are going to have some explaining to do. Again.

Big South Bog

2008-12-01T19:35:00.002-05:00

Another week, another Big South team enters the poll. With wins over Montreat and Coker, the Liberty Flames' 4-1 record is a bit deceiving, but the victory at UVa gives them a legitimate entry into the Bog Top 10. At the other end of the spectrum, Georgetown dominated Maryland so thoroughly in the Old Spice Classic at Disney World that the Terrapins' impressive performance against Michigan State faded like Cinderella's dress after midnight. Virginia's fairy tale season imploded with a home loss to Liberty followed by a road downer at Syracuse; not coincidentally, Sylven Landesberg was held under 20 in both losses. Navy has won five straight since dropping its opener at Towson and George Mason has been strong save for a slipup against Hampton. GW is back in also, but nobody in the 6-10 spots is safe with all the quality looking on from just outside.

1. Georgetown (4-1)
Hoyas' win over Maryland was so anticlimactic, the band played "Don't Stop Believing" at the final buzzer as the arena faded to black.
2. Maryland (4-2)
Terps' performance at the Milk House over the weekend only slightly worse than Gus Van Sant's political biopic, "Milk."
3. Virginia Tech (4-2)
Hokies are 38-118 from three-point range this season. Who is their shooting coach, Plaxico Burress?
4. George Mason (5-1)
A loss to Hampton is all that stands between the Patriots and a Number One ranking; that, and BCS voter bias.
5. Navy (5-1)
Academy officials surprised that the Village People's "In the Navy" doesn't jazz the home crowd quite as much as "YMCA."
6. Virginia (4-2)
Home loss to Liberty means Virginia misses chance for a Big South sweep, a feat not achieved since William Tecumseh Sherman marched from Atlanta to Savannah in 1864.
7. GW (3-1)
Colonials fans incensed that the Washington Post gave more coverage to Georgetown-Maryland than GW-UMBC.
8. American (4-2)
Eagles haven't played a home game since November 17; apparently Bender Arena is the temporary home of the Obama transition team.
9. James Madison (4-2)
JMU went 1-1 on the weekend; the Duke won at Fordham but nobody beats New York City holiday traffic.
10. Liberty (4-1)
Toughest part of the Flames schedule is finding Montreat and Coker.

Turkey in the Bog

2008-11-24T13:06:00.004-05:00

Hoyas fend off the Drexel Dragons to stay unbeaten and unchallenged atop the poll this week, but their upcoming trip to the Old Spice Classic could get interesting, especially if they cross paths with the Terps. Maryland barely escaped Vermont, and Virginia seems to have filled the void left by Sean Singletary's departure. Rankings get pretty tricky after that, but I'll keep VATech up on quality losses (Xavier and Seton Hall), and Mason below VCU because of a bad loss to Hampton, despite two decent road wins (Vermont and East Carolina). Sort of a pick 'em after that, but Mount stays after an idle week and VMI still riding on the win at Kentucky, but they need to start getting some D1 wins to stay in the top 10. Lots of teams waiting in the wings, including GW, Navy, ODU, UMBC, and James Madison. Trying to sort them out is more sleep-inducing than second helpings on Thursday.

1. Georgetown (2-0)
Hoyas chase the Dragons out of Verizon Center.
2. Maryland (3-0)
Overtime win against the Catamounts means free Vermont Teddy Bears for all fans in attendance at Comcast Center.
3. Virginia (3-0)
Sylven Landesberg is now my second favorite Landesberg, behind Steve Landesberg - whose portrayal of Detective Arthur Dietrich on "Barney Miller" remains unparallelled in television history.
4. Virginia Tech (3-2)
Three straight wins followed by two straight losses - another proud tradition of Hokie basketball.
5. VCU (2-1)
VCU's loss at Rhode Island featured hot Ram-on-Ram action.
6. George Mason (3-1)
Patriots lose to Hampton Pirates, beat East Carolina Pirates, have yet to face Seton Hall Pirates, Somali Pirates, Pirates of Penzance, or Johnny Depp.
7. Mt. St. Mary's (1-1)
Mount legend Jim Phelan went into the College Basketball Hall of Fame Sunday with Billy Packer, Charles Barkley and Dick Vitale. The acceptance speeches are still going on.
8. American (3-1)
AU running new offensive scheme, "Dude, where's Garrison Carr?"
9. VMI (3-1)
Keydets' leading scorers are identical twin brothers, Travis and Chavis Holmes, the best Holmes ballers since Baskerville.
10. Towson (2-1)
Because there needs to be a sports story from Towson that doesn't contain the phrase "record-setting Olympic swimmer."

New Bog Blood

2008-11-19T16:55:00.003-05:00

With a stunning season-opening win against Jacksonville, Georgetown remains atop the Bog Poll this week. Virginia Tech posted shaky wins - barely holding off Mount St. Marys and needing overtime to take out Gardner Webb, who lost to Longwood. Most impressive win of the week goes to new Top 10 entrant VMI, who beat Kentucky at Kentucky but could not do the same at Virginia, which reentered the poll after falling out last season. Old Dominion gets runner up in the "Best Win" category with a victory at Charlotte, and the Terps, VCU, and Mason held serve. The "Blown Opportunity of the Week (BOOTW?)" Award is a tie between Towson, who trounced Navy and then lost at Niagara, and Howard, who followed an impressive win over Oregon State with a loss at Navy.

1. Georgetown (1-0)
Over-under on "Monroe Doctrine" references for the 2008-2009 season set at 324.
2. Virginia Tech (2-0)
Malcom Delaney made as many free throws as Mount Saint Mary's attempted, one of the little-known perks of ACC membership.
3. VCU (1-0)
TJ Gwynn went 8 for 8 against The Citadel, the best performance by a Gwynn since Tony hit .394 in the strike-shortened 1994 season.
4. George Mason (2-0)
George Mason's new mascot inspired the Patriots to a 37-point victory in their home opener. The fact that their opponent was an Ivy League cellar dweller was of no significance.
5. Maryland (2-0)
Bucknell guard Darryl Shazier went to Menchville High School. So we know he's good people.
6. ODU (1-0)
Gerald Lee is from Finland; curously, his teammate Ben Finney is not from Leeland.
7. Mt. St. Mary's (1-1)
Having beaten Loyola, Mount sets its sites on Georgetown and the Bog Poll's prestigious Cardinal Hickey Cup.
8. Virginia (1-0)
The Sylven Learning Center, where Cavalier opponents get schooled.
9. VMI (2-1)
After losing to UVa, Keydets thump Maryland Bible.
10. Morgan State (1-1)
Head coach/blogger Todd Bozeman tracks opponents substitutions on Twitter during games.

Bog Poll - Return of the Hoya

2008-10-21T15:34:00.008-04:00

Okay, so college basketball starts this week, and that means it's time for a new Bog Poll. Last year, Georgetown went wire-to-wire as my top-ranked team. The competition was so weak not even a second round NCAA Tournament upset by Davidson could knock the Hoyas off the Number One perch. Yes, five other teams in the Poll made the NCAA and a bunch more went to the NIT and CBI but none were able to win consistently enough to throw a scare into Georgetown. So for now, the men from the Hilltop are still in the top spot.

Lots of questions follow the Hoyas. Can Virginia Tech's youngsters improve enough to offset the loss of Deron Washington? Can the CAA get two or even three teams to the NCAA Tournament, after missing last year's Big Dance? Are American, Mount St. Mary's, and UMBC one-year wonders? Can Virginia and Maryland avoid the ACC basement? Will the MEAC or the Patriot Leaague have more teams in my Top 10? My friends, only time will tell.

1. Georgetown
Obviously, Jeremiah Rivers was the player to be named later in the Patrick Ewing Junior transfer.
2. Virginia Tech
The Hokies basketball team will be better than the football team? Ha! Good one. Next you'll try to convince me that the state voted for a Democrat in the presidential election.
3. VCU
Jamal Schuler is not walking through that door! Will Fameni is not walking through that door! Eric Maynor is not walking ... what? Wait a sec' ... Okay, Eric Maynor is back - apparently his petition for a 15th season of eligibility was approved.
4. George Mason
Patriots' most promising newcomer is a 7-footer- their mascot.
5. UMBC
Jay Greene averages fewer turnovers per game than Jason Campbell.
6. American
Can someone please explain to me why American Eagle Outfitters is not the official outfitter of the American Eagles?
7. Maryland
Terps' three and four-guard offenses more effective than their don't-guard defense.
8. Mount St. Marys
Mount St. Mary's hasn't been ranked this high since the Princeton Review published the "Top 10 Colleges Your Parents Don't Know Are Party Schools."
9. ODU
Gerald Lee's signature dunk at the end of a fast break is known as the Finnish finish.
10. Morgan State
It's a Bear market, right?

Classics

2008-10-07T14:34:00.014-04:00

I don't know who writes the sports headlines at Comcast.net, but somebody should send him (or her) a Webster's Dictionary as an early Christmas gift. Using the word "classic" to describe last night's Monday Night Football clash between the Saints and the Vikings makes about as much sense as kicking to Reggie Bush after he returns two straight punts for touchdowns. Yes, the Vikings won on a last-minute field goal less than two minutes after Saints' kicker Martin Gramatica missed a 46-yarder. And, yes, the oft-criticized Bush had two astounding touchdowns on punt returns and might have had a third if he had not slipped to the turf as he cut back across the field. The Vikings' points came in equally unconventional fashion, as they scored on a blocked field goal and a pass thrown by Chester Taylor, who normally finds himself clearing space for Adrian Peterson.

You want to call it dramatic, that's fine with me. Vikings coach Brad Childress probably saved his job, and Gramatica probably lost his. The thrill of Bush's returns was complemented by several hi-def hits and blocks in the second half. One of those hits knocked Minnesota QB Gus Frerotte out of the game after he completed a pass to Bernard Berrian for 36 yards. Frerotte returned one play later and marched his team to the end zone.

So there were some great plays, some big hits, but I can't think of one reason to call it a classic, something that would stand the test of time. Last week's MNF game pitted hated rivals Pittsburgh and Baltimore battling for the top of the AFC North. As the defenses dominated, the result seemed more a question of survival than execution. There were a lot of penalties and punts, but that was more a testament to the strength of the defenses than the offenses' ineptitude. The main question in last night's game was how many plays could make the blooper reel.

New Orleans did not attempt a punt in the first half because three straight possessions ended in turnovers. One of the two fumbles that the Saints did not lose came when Drew Brees wasn't ready for the snap on a shotgun formation; since the ball hit him in the shin, it probably wouldn't have mattered if he was. The Saints best scoring opportunites came as Bush awaited Minnesota's punts; and for some reason, the Vikes kept kicking to him. Minnesota punted a total of seven times, including five in a row in the second half. Neither team rushed for more than 60 yards on the night. Throw in the oddity that referee Ed Hochuli has become and you've got yourself a football game as envisioned by Tim Burton: oddly beautiful and compelling, but eerily unsettling because something is just not quite right.

The only reason I watched to the end was because of a very entertaining Yahoo Sports Live Blog. I'm not a bettor, but I'm guessing most of the others people who stuck it out were waiting to see if New Orleans could cover the three point spread. Better luck next week, for all of us, I hope.

Michael Phelps needs some new vines

2008-10-06T17:46:00.012-04:00

Michael Phelps came home to Maryland for a "Parade of Gold" on Saturday, a wonderfully small town moment that got national coverage. The parade also honored his USA Swimming teammate Katie Hoff and Paralympian Jessica Long - both Maryland natives - and included his family (Mom Debbie in Chico's finery, no doubt), the principals of the public elementary, middle and high schools he attended, as many local politicians as they could find cars for, and a number of high school marching bands, flag twirlers and the like.

Like Santa at the end of the Macy's parade, Phelps drew cheers and screams of joy as he waved to the crowd from atop a National Guard Humvee. Some fans travelled across several states and some only several blocks, but all jumped to their feet to catch a glimpse or a picture of America's Olympic hero.

And what did the greatest swimmer of all time choose to wear for this grand occasion? You tell me, because that hoodie up there almost defies description. Why not a Team USA jacket, something in red, white and blue, or even a North Baltimore Aquatic Club Shirt? I can't believe Speedo wants their spokesman looking this bad. Get a queer eye on this guy, call Tim Gunn, whatever, but put some lipstick on this pig, please.

Sadly, we've seen this particular fashion disaster before. Back in Beijing, Phelps popped into the USA Basketball locker room to chat with LeBron, Kobe and Coach K, and was rocking the exact same shirt. Maybe he's been travelling so much, it's the only thing he had clean, maybe it's his lucky shirt, maybe his mom set it out for him. I'm just glad he got rid of the hat.

Parade photo from AP, Beijing photo from Getty Images.

Great moments in debate history

2008-09-26T15:38:00.002-04:00

Abraham Lincoln vs. Stephen Douglas, 1858
This was the big one, the benchmark for all future discussions of political debates. Lincoln and Douglas squared off seven times in less than two months in their campaign for the Illinois seat in the United States Senate. Lincoln lost the election, but used the accompanying publicity as a springboard to the Republican nomination for president two years later.

William Jennings Bryan vs. William Howard Taft, 1908
Losing three presidential elections hardly tarnished the legacy of William Jennings Bryan, who served in Congress, as Woodrow Wilson's Secretary of State, and famously argued against Clarence Darrow in the Scopes Trial. His debates with Taft were remarkable in that they were recorded for the phonograph and can be purchased still today.

John F. Kennedy vs. Richard Nixon, 1960
The first televised debate was scored a win by those who only heard it on radio, but Kennedy appeared far more comfortable and, let's face it, attractive in front of the camera than Nixon, whose career took eight years to recover.

Ronald Reagan vs. Walter Mondale, 1984
Every ounce of the Gipper's charm was on display in this brilliant reversal of a campaign issue that the Democrats strove so unsuccessfully to exploit. Reagan's line was so good and so expertly delivered, even Mondale had to chuckle, thinking all the while, "There's no way I can beat this guy, is there?"

Michael Dukakis vs. Bernard Shaw, 1988
Dukakis's opponent in the debate was actually George Bush, but his surpisingly unemotional reply to moderator Bernard Shaw's question of whether the candidate would support the death penalty in a hypothetical case where his wife was raped and murdered drew a flat response from viewers.

Lloyd Bentsen vs. Dan Quayle, 1988
When the Veep candidates took to the podium, Quayle gave Bentsen a belt-high fastball when he compared his own experience to that of John Kennedy, and Bentsen swatted it out of the park with perhaps the most famous putdown in debate history. You can almost see Quayle blink away the stinging tears.

Frank the Tank vs. James Carville, 2003
Okay, technically, this was not a political debate, not a real event, and not the funniest moment in this movie by a long shot, but still, how often do you see James Carville at a loss for words?

Flip-flopper!

2008-09-26T15:10:00.005-04:00

First he's in, then he's out, and now he's in. Really. He means it this time. John McCain will be at the presidential debate tonight in Oxford, Mississippi. Which is good, because otherwise I'd have to watch the end of the Orioles' game as the hometown team goes for nine straight losses.

Cornfield of Republican Dreams

2008-09-26T10:40:00.003-04:00

The Cookie Polls are old news, forget about Obama Girl, let's get to the heartland of the matter. That's right, it's the amazeing Sara Palin corn maze, part of a 16-acre labyrinth at the Corn Maze at the Butterfly Farm in the presciently named town of Whitehouse Ohio.

Video available at myfoxtoledo.com.

Will they or won't they?

2008-09-26T08:59:00.006-04:00

Right now, the biggest question regarding tonight's presidential campaign debate is not about the war in Iraq or the economy, but rather the more existential query of whether it will happen at all. John McCain wants to delay until the financial crisis bailout legislation is finished, Barack Obama says there's no need to wait, and University of Mississippi officials say they are ready to go forward. Dan Balz of the Washington Post offers a nice little primer to get you ready.

We'll know for sure in a little less than 12 hours, but if it falls through, here are a few backup plans: Sweet Home Alabama with the lovely Academy Award-winning Reese Witherspoon on USA Network; What Not To Wear on the Learning Channel, where a former exotic dancer solves her "problem" of wearing shirts that are too short; Kelly's Heroes, a WWII classic starring Clint Eastwood, Don Rickles and Telly Savalas on Turner Classic Movies; or if you must have eloquent statements and dramatic posturing, WWE Smackdown, featuring Triple-H and his partner/rival Jeff Hardy in a tag-team battle with MVP and The Brian Kendrick. And of course random CSI and Law and Order episodes about every 10 channels or so depending on your cable provider.

Palin speaks!

2008-09-26T08:02:00.003-04:00

Reporters covering Sarah Palin's tour of 9/11 memorial sites yesterday scored a major get when the Republican Vice Presidential candidate paused to answer a few questions on camera.

Palin has conducted sit-down interviews with ABC, Fox, and CBS, but this was her first press conference, if answering four questions can be called a conference. No earth-shattering revelations in the video, but no laugh lines either. She stated standard party lines on 9/11 and the Bush Doctrine and neatly danced around a reporter's question about the reelection of Alaska Senator Ted Stevens, whose trial started yesterday. No pigs, pitbulls, lipstick, or Bridges to Nowhere. Let's see Tina Fey try to make this funny.

Huckabee TV show a reality

2008-09-25T20:47:00.008-04:00

Former Arkansas governor and Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee will host a talk show on Fox News airing this Saturday at 8:00 Eastern Time. Huckabee made the announcement on his Huck PAC blog and Fox News confirmed the announcement. The show will be taped Saturday before a live audience and the first guest will be Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Other than that, precious few details about the show have emerged.

This move makes so much sense the only surprise is that it took so long to happen. Huckabee, who lost 100 pounds while governor, can do the obligatory diet and exercise segments himself. His band, Capitol Offense, can handle the musical entertainment. Throw in sports, weather and a goofy sidekick (Fred Grandy?), and you got yourself a show.

Still some unanswered questions here. Will "Huckabee" get big ratings in Iowa but tank in New Hampshire? Will Chuck Norris handle security? Will John McCain cancel an appearance on the show? Can't wait to find out.

Letterman livid over McCain bailout

2008-09-25T13:16:00.006-04:00

Republican presidential nominee John McCain's suspension of his campaign in order to help address the nation's financial crisis included cancelling his appearance on David Letterman's Late Show last night, a decision that the notoriously cranky host received none too graciously.

Letterman made sure to acknowledge McCain's heroic service to his country before stomping him like so many bunches of Zinfandel. Dave's been known to hold a grudge (see Winfrey, Oprah), so don't be surprised if tonight's Late Show features the "Top 10 Real Reasons Why John McCain Cancelled." My version would be as follows:

10. Couldn't remember which house he left his car keys in.
9. Went lipstick shopping with Sarah Palin (favorite shade: Red State Red).
8. His wife, Cindy McCain, prefers Last Call with Carson Daly.
7. Straight Talk Express bus driver forgot his EZ Pass and got stuck in traffic.
6. Found out Paul Shaffer is Canadian and can't vote in the election.
5. Didn't want to miss "Dancing with the Stars" results show (rooting for Cloris Leachman, natch.)
4. Furious when he found out the trip would not include one last
game at Yankee Stadium.
3. Went over to Joe Biden's house to watch reruns of FDR's televised speeches.
2. Too stunned by Clay Aiken's coming out to appear in public.
1. Luke Russert told him that smart people watch Katie Couric, not David Letterman.

Barney Frank would prefer Superman?

2008-09-25T11:49:00.003-04:00

Massachusetts' Representative Barney Frank, the Chairman of the House Financial Services Committee, criticized Senator John McCain yesterday, comparing him to Mighty Mouse. And not even the real Mighty Mouse, but rather this brilliant perfomance art sketch by the late American comic genius, Andy Kaufman.

After his obscure yet dismissive characterization of the Republican nominee for Commander in Chief's plan to assist in the federal government's $700 billion bailout of the financial industry, Frank went on to crush McCain in more unambiguous fashion, saying, "He hasn't been involved ... He doesn't know anything about it ... He doesn't bring anything to it." Straight Talk Express, indeed!

Note that Kaufman is not wearing a "Mighty Mouse costume" in the above clip. That detail appears to have been added by Rep. Frank. I'll forgive the slip, considering the stress that Frank has been under recently, but in the future, I hope he keeps his little fantasies to himself.

Whacko for Flacco!

2008-09-08T09:45:00.006-04:00

Attention Greater Baltimore sporting goods retailers: you might want to increase your Joe Flacco jersey sales orders. The rookie quarterback didn't complete a pass longer than 15 yards, but he made a powerful love connection with the fans at M&T Bank Stadium with his poised play in the Ravens' 17-10 victory over the Cincinnati Bengals yesterday. The "Let's go, Flacco!" cheer could be heard throughout the game, but when the Ravens' first round draft choice rumbled 38 yards for a third quarter touchdown, the crowd noise nearly drowned out the radio broadcast (so did my car horn honking). For all the fuss about the Flacco, though, the story of this game was told in the trenches.

Baltimore dominated the line of scrimmage so completely in the second half that the Ravens held the ball for 23:43 to the Bengals' 6:17. And that's not because of Cincy's quick strike offense; the results of the visitors' four second-half offensive possessions were: three and out, turnover on downs at the Ravens' 36 yard line, three and out, and turnover on downs at the Ravens' 26. Their only touchdown of the day came on a 65-yard fumble recovery by Johnathan Joseph. The next time the Bengals come to Baltimore, Marvin Lewis might want to remind his offense where the end zone is because the Cincinnati O hasn't scored a TD at M&T since 2006.

On offense, the Ravens stuck to a ground attack that churned out 226 yards on 46 carries. The sizzle came from Flacco's bootleg jaunt and a double-reverse by Mark Clayton that went for a 42 yard touchdown, but the steak was fullback Le'Ron McClain (19 carries for 86 yards and rookie tailback Ray Rice (22 for 64). Flacco was never sacked as he completed 15 of 29 passes and if he was pressured, he didn't seem flustered. Cincinnati is not known for defensive prowess, but Baltimore had a solid day and the imminent return of Willis McGahee along with improvement from Flacco bodes well for this unit.

Now, back to those jerseys. In a completely unofficial and unscientific poll, I did a quick phone survey of Baltimore area sporting goods retailers this morning. Shenk and Tittle in White Marsh seemed to be most on the ball with about 180 Flacco jerseys in stock and ready to move. Their preseason top seller was a surprise to me: Matt Stover. Flacco got hot when he was named as the starter and apparently, Ray Rice will be in demand once it becomes available. Modells in Reiserstown was out of stock in Flacco adult sizes but had plenty for kids. Champs in Eastpoint only had 10 in stock but expected them to go quickly, outselling previous favorites Ed Reed and Todd Heap. Sports Authority in Glen Burnie had about 50 and would be increasing its monthly order as Flacco overtook Ray Lewis, Stover, Kelly Gregg(?) and Heap. Finally, Dick's Sporting Goods' website lists the Flacco alternate black jersey as its top selling Ravens item.

Now, two names in the previous paragraph jump out at me: Matt Stover and Kelly Gregg. Stover has longevity (he's the only Cleveland Brown veteran on the team) consistent productivity and he is well-known as a good guy in the community, but how many NFL teams have the kicker as one of their top-selling jerseys? According to two salespeople I spoke with, Stover is hard to find, so perhaps its rarity makes it more desirable. As for Gregg, well, he was the fourth-leading tackler on the defense last year and he was tied or second in sacks with three. Hmm, I'm sure I'm missing something.

In any case, I'll be checking back with those stores in the coming weeks to track the Flacco sales. The Ravens' next home game is in two weeks against the Browns. Expect to see an influx of Flacco.

Apocalypse? Wow!

2008-09-02T14:23:00.006-04:00

Happy Ramadan, everybody!

On Friday, I wrote a little bit about Barack Obama and, in the interest of equal time, said I would post something about John McCain's nomination of Sarah Palin later. I figured I'd wait out the long weekend and let things settle down a little bit, but now it seems we're going to need a few more days, weeks, maybe months. We'll know by November 5, anyway. Unless it ends up in the Supreme Court, again.

Talk about dominating the news cycle. Palin's story is Michael Phelps, Usain Bolt, and Nastia Liukin combined. Palin was all over the Internets all weekend long. Even the sports blogs were not immune as the kickoff of college football had to share time with Palin the basketball player, Palin the sports broadcaster and Palin the beauty queen, all of which engendered the quiet, observant and respectful commentary so synonymous with the blogosphere.

In fact, Palin's only competition was a story with a lot of similarities: Hurricane Gustav. Let's face it, the Palin Watch is a lot like a hurricane story. It forms at a distance, gathers strength, weakens, becomes more threatening as it approaches land and nobody knows what will happen until it happens. Meanwhile, we all prepare as we think we need to and the media whips everyone into a frenzy. Okay, so no one ordered an evacuation, and the political analysts aren't wearing rain gear on camera, but everybody talks about it, reports the slightest shred of news and/or speculation related to it, and compares it to past events of similar magnitude.

All of these stories end the same way though. Nobody has a definitive answer. Was Palin a good choice? They don't really know. Will the hurricane be Category 4? They don't know. Will there be something else to talk about a week from now? Of course. For instance, the NFL starts on Thursday.

None of this really matters, though, because the world is going to end in 2012, anyway. I learned this recently when I wrote an item for Fourth Place Medal about the 2012 Olympic Games in London. Many visitors to my story were very disappointed that it was not an analysis of the end of the world.

So, go ahead and vote however you want. None of these candidates will have a chance to serve a second term.

Politics, shmolitics

2008-08-29T15:49:00.009-04:00

Welcome back to FitzFacts. My five week stint over at Fourth Place Medal is done, and the kids are back in school, so I should be hitting the blog pretty hard (emphasis on should). College football started last night, the Ravens are in a bigger quarterback dilemma than they expected, and the Orioles are limping into September, but the topic of the day has to be politics: Barack Obama's historic nomination and John McCain's vice presidential candidate selection.

Let's start with Obama - maybe I'll get to McCain next time. Like most of my political knowledge, I learned about Obama through the pages of the New Yorker and the programs of National Public Radio. The New Yorker profile was a precursor to the typical "Could this guy run for President?" article that I have read in that magazine about so many politicians (John Edwards, Rudy Giuliani, Hillary Clinton, etc.), but his appearance on the NPR show, "Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me," in August, 2005, really caught my ear (Okay, I'm pretty sure I didn't hear the original broadcast, but as Obama's political star rose, they replayed the segment several times).

Obama was nominally on the show to play a quiz game, but most of his time was taken by a discussion of his attack on the overemphasis of 8th grade graduations. He felt that many schools and families were overreacting with limousines and parties for an achievement that warranted not much more than a handshake and a ride to the first day of high school. By the end of the segment, he had won over the hosts (and me, too). After all nothing warms my heart like an attack on innocent children, although now might be a good time to confess that my own 8th grade graduation featured a dinner and a dance with a live rock band. To be fair, the band was led by our concert band teacher, and they brought the house down with Kool and the Gang's "Celebration."

So, I have been a fan of the guy ever since. I watched some of the speech last night, not so much for particulars but just to absorb the moment a little. Even though I am going to vote for him, I still can't quite believe he might actually win. People can talk about inexperience, age, the Iraq War, hope, and how many houses all they want, but I still believe race will have a greater impact on this presidential campaign than all those factors combined.

I know we'd all like to think we've moved beyond that and I hope we have, but I am not entirely convinced. I remember being in high school and watching one of the candidates for student government president check the list of students marked absent, counting white kids as votes he'd lost and black kids as votes he'd gained. A few years later, when I was working at GW, the student body president was forced to resign because he referred to his black opponent with the N-word in a private conversation. That was more than 15 years ago, but I'm not sure we've changed enough.

I doubt I'll ever watch his entire speech. I prefer to go looking for this one:

Whither FitzFacts?

2008-08-19T14:50:00.003-04:00

Those of you who still check up on this blog, thanks for doing so. You might be wondering why I didn't post anything for about six months and then suddenly, an Olympics piece, and then, just as suddenly, nothing.

That post was sort of an audiiton for Yahoo! Sports, where I am now part of the Fourth Place Medal team, a group of bloggers covering the Olympics. Check us out the following link.

I'll be over there until Closing Ceremony, and then rolling back here in the fall.

USA! USA! USA!

Citius, Altius, Phelpsius

2008-07-14T16:14:00.002-04:00

With the Opening Ceremonies of the Beijing Olympics less than four weeks away, let’s take a look at what the big stories will be. Let’s see … off the top of my head, there’s Michael Phelps’ pursuit of Mark Spitz’s seven gold medal record, there’s USA Basketball’s quest to regain world supremacy in the hardwood ‘hood, and there’s Tyson Gay’s attempt to recover from injury and set the world record in the 100 meters without the aid of wind, steroids or ruby slippers. What else?

Checking over at NBC.com, the TV network home of the Games of the XXIX Olympiad, I find a promo for tonight’s schedule, featuring Nashville Star, America’s Got Talent, and Dateline NBC, which informs me that I might be rich if I own some of the $30 billion of unclaimed property held in state treasuries across the nation. Riveting programming no doubt, but no Olympic hype.

How about this link entitled NBC’s All-American Summer? Looks promising, but Apolo Oh No, now I am awash in America’s Got Talent, the freak show of mediocrity which will never be known as “America’s Got Ratings.” Desperate for info, I type “Olympics” into the nc.com search bar and come up with 939 results! Excellent! The first three are an NBC Olympics Legacy T-shirt featuring logos from 12 different Olympic Games, a Beijing Olympics 2008 Logo Tumbler (it’s a cup, not a gymnast), and a Beijing Olympics Embroidered Military Cap designed by Roots (just the perfect accessory for that visit to Tiananmen Square I’ve been planning).

I try to refine my search and click on the menu tab indicating six video results, and I get the following: three clips from an episode of The Office, one clip of Nadia Comaneci plugging her charity work on The Celebrity Apprentice, one clip of a woman named Erin Birch who won $167,000 for the Special Olympics on Deal or No Deal more than two years ago, and wait a second, a segment of Last Call with Carson Daly from last August which must reference the fact that the Olympics are only a year away, but who knows because the wireless network in Bethany Beach, Delaware, doesn’t seem to be able to handle the bandwidth I need to see the clip.

Okay, so where’s all the Olympic scoop? Where’s the heartbreaking story of the gymnast who perseveres through pain, puberty and Communist oppression for a chance at fame, fortune and future reality tv stardom? Or the decathlete whose success lands him first on a Wheaties box, then a series of TV cameos, an infomercial, and finally a reality tv show about his spoiled, narcissistic, hateful stepchildren? Or the diver who misses a chance at gold because of America’s boycott of the Moscow Olympics only to win in Los Angeles and Seoul, the latter despite gashing his head open on a platform dive attempt, and then comes out of the closet and has his story told on a made for TV movie starring Mario Lopez, and yet somehow has never been on a reality tv show unless you count Circus of the Stars 11?

Wait a second, there’s a different website called nbclympics.com? I can find stories, pictures, video, blogs and a live clock counting down to the Opening Ceremonies? And athlete profiles, where two out of every three items focus on an American who has little, if any, chance to win a medal next month, while numerous foreigners who are slam-dunk gold medal favorites get the shaft because they don’t hail from the Home of the Brave? Oh. Never mind.

Bog Poll Boils and Bubbles

2008-02-26T10:34:00.003-05:00

We are coming down to the end of the Bog Poll, so I will have to find something else to write about, but more importantly, soon we will have final rankings. Over at Big Stein's place, the Terp lovers have Maryland ahead of VIrginia Tech, even though they have nearly the same record and the Hokies have beaten the Terps twice. For me, it's more interesting that Norfolk State lost to South Carolina State over the weekend, and fell out of the poll. I actually watched the end of this game on TV, and SCSU needs to work on its endgame, i.e. making free throws, inbounds plays, boxing out on defense. Speaking of endgame, the 7-10 teams below are really on a tear right now. Almost no way Georgetown won't finish the season #1, VCU is solid at #2, and UMBC has won its way to #3. The Hokies shoved Maryland out of the way and George Mason made it easy to keep the Terps at #5 with the bracketbuster loss to Ohio. Another week of 1-1 for the Patriots and we could see them passed by any or all of American, Morgan, Loyola, or Old Dominion. Lots of postseason action for the Top 10 will keep the rankings bubbling for a few more weeks at least.

1. Georgetown
Over the weekend, Rich Chvotkin filled in for Georgetown’s wrestling announcer: “Hoyas pin! Hoyas pin! Hoyas pin! Hoyas pin! Hoyas pin! Hoyas pin! Hoyas pin! Hoyas pin! Hoyas pin!”
2. VCU
Rams thought they were going to Akon, not Akron, took out their anger on the Zips.
3. UMBC
Retrievers are Baltimore’s first 20-game winner since Jim Palmer.
4. Virginia Tech
Vomit jokes will be harder for Dorenzo Hudson to get rid of than … than …well, than the smell of puke.
5. Maryland
Greivis Vasquez still struggling with English idiom, said he meant to challenge Hudson to “throw down right now.”
6. George Mason
With at-large prospects fading, Patriots counting on endorsements from NCAA Selection Committee super delegates.
7. American
Eagles hold Army to 40 points; Black Knights’ coach blames inferior body armor.
8. Morgan State
Bears’ successful season spurs growth of the school’s fundraising committee, the Morgan Donors.
9. Loyola
Davis Love > UC-Davis > Mac Davis
10. Old Dominion
Great week for Blaine Taylor. His team won its fifth straight, and he won the CAA Academy Awards pool, ending Pat Kennedy’s dominant four-year reign.

Remember the Spartans?

2008-02-19T11:16:00.000-05:00

Hottest team in the Bog Poll has to be the UMBC Retrievers with six straight wins, and American University gets special mention for five in a row, but the award for the out-of-nowhere, given-up-for-dead-on-the-side-of-the-road, stick-a-fork-in-them (they're-done), comeback story has to go to the Norfolk State Spartans, who have won eight of their last nine and are tied for first place in the MEAC with Morgan State. Yes, they lost to Longwood and Prairie View, and Richmond is their only nonconference win over a .500 team, but the Spartans have had their act together in conference play and have made the MEAC into a three-team race. Welcome to the Bog Poll, Norfolk State!

In other news, Georgetown steals another win and loses on the road again (to Syracuse), but splits or worse by everyone else in the Top Five keeps the Hoyas at the top spot. Greivis Vasquez' three-point shooting brings the Terps back against Florida State, but I don't think Maryland can count on that from him every game. VCU stumbles at home against ODU, and the CAA finds itself dining at the one-bid table. UMBC is in the driver's seat in the America East but has three of its last four on the road including trips to the second and third place teams. George Mason is strong enough for second in the CAA but got swept by UNC Wilmington and ill likely see them in the league semis. Virginia Tech's only win in the top two-thirds of the ACC is against Maryland more than a month ago. American has been hot, but the Eagles' most recent loss was to second-place Navy and they head to Annapolis for the grudge match next week. Morgan doesn't get the same chance for redemption against Norfolk State, so Bog Poll bragging rights (and an NCAA bid) will have to wait until the conference tournament. And Loyola finally jumps back in the Top 10 for the first time since Week One. Still some decent teams hanging in the wings: Richmond, Hampton, William and Mary. And some pitiful ones: Virginia.

1. Georgetown
Rich Chvotkin’s play-by-play call from the Villanova game now a part of NPR’s “This I Believe” series.
2. Maryland
Terps lose at Duke, Dick Vitale blames Kelvin Sampson.
3. VCU
Rams maintain ranking in Bog Poll, but Anthony Grant slips from #1 spot on South Carolina AD’s speed dial.
4. UMBC
Enraged by the choice of Uno the beagle as Best in Show at Westminster, Retrievers vow to track and kill every opponent in the America East.
5. George Mason
Being named Homecoming King is little comfort to Will Thomas after losing to UNC Wilmington.
6. Virginia Tech
Hokies beat Virginia on February 2, which makes their record ½-3 in their last four contests.
7. American
Eagles’ dominance of the Patriot League reportedly began shortly after Jeff Jones and his wife attended a party at the home of Jose Canseco.
8. Morgan State
Todd Bozeman promotes a Morganic basketball lifestyle as the cornerstone of his team’s success and the future health of the planet.
9. Loyola
After Greyhounds struggle at Niagara again, Jimmy Patsos decides to play next year’s game on the Canadian side.
10. Norfolk State
Spartans follow 2-8 start with 11-2 run. Let’s just hope they can stay on their meds for the rest of the season.

The Bog Poll Comes in on Little Cat Feet

2008-02-11T14:39:00.000-05:00

These Terps look familiar, don't they? Not the individual players - I think it's safe to say we haven't seen anyone quite like Greivis Vasquez or Bambale Osby before. And not just the style of play - that is pretty typical of a Gary Williams team. No, I am referring to the arc of the season, the plot line, as it were. I have no stats to back this up, but I am willing to bet that over time, Williams' teams have had great second half records that almost always come on the heels of disappointing second quarters (or Decembers or whatever you want to call it). One of the voter's in Big Stein's poll described Maryland's bad stretch as nauseatingly familiar and not made better by the probability that they would come through and hit their stride, which is exactly what has happened. Watching them win against NC State the other night impressed me almost as much as the win at UNC and more than the "gallant" home loss to Duke. If Vasquez can eliminate the poor second-half decisions (launching a three with a lead and 10 seconds on the shot clock, taking a steal downcourt for a missed layup instead of pulling back and running some clock), then the Terps could be a Final Four team. Seriously. They have corrected the defensive lapses that led to career performances by opposing guards and Osby and James Gist are more than most teams can handle inside. But keep your eyes on Vasquez to see where this team is truly headed.

In the poll, Maryland is closing fast on Georgetown, leaving the various Virginia teams behind. VCU has to finish strong to have a shot at an at-large bid if they lose in the CAA Tournament, Virginia Tech drops two spots with two straight ACC losses, but Mason can't pass them with a CAA split last week. UMBC is catching up with a win over Mr. Tony's Binghamton Bearcats, but they'd better keep the wisdom of Satchel Paige in mind because the Morgan State Bears are hotter than Amy Winehouse's hair dryer right now. William and Mary looks like a decent spoiler bet in the CAA and American is looking more phoenix than eagle, with a sudden resurgence. As for Virginia, well it doesn't look very good for the Wahoos right now, does it?

1. Georgetown
Rick Pitino changes from a white suit to a black suit at halftime, and his team goes from losing by eight to winning by eight. After the game, Al Sharpton calls a press conference and demands an apology.
2. Maryland
When the Terps’ dramatic turnaround season is made into a feature film, I’ve got Dennis Hopper playing Gary Williams, John Leguizamo as Greivis Vasquez, but for Bambale Osby, I keep getting stuck on ‘70s TV stars. Lawrence Hilton Jacobs? The guy who played Coolidge on the White Shadow? How about a little help here?
3. VCU
Rams win at Georgia State and Delaware, which is about the same as winning at Delaware State and Georgia, I think.
4. Virginia Tech
I keep reading that Seth Greenberg got an extension, but you have to get more than one if you are trying to get rid of the bald look, Coach.
5. George Mason
Following GMU’s loss at Old Dominion, Jim Larranaga announces that his team has suspended its campaign for an at-large bid.
6. UMBC
In his pregame pep talk, Binghamton alumnus Tony Kornheiser asked the team to win one for his ailing comrade, Michael Wilbon, but, apparently, the Bearcats prefer Around the Horn to PTI.
7. William & Mary
William and Mary’s leading scorer against Northeastern made three field goals, but the Tribe’s failure to recognize the Huskies’ zone-blitz packages doomed their three-game win streak.
8. Morgan State
Seven-game win streak has the Bears’ swag approaching Kanye West level, the Defcon One of arrogance.
9. American
First place in the Patriot League! Tenleytown hasn’t been this excited since the Red Line was extended to Shady Grove.
10. Virginia
Cavaliers are staring into the abyss, a pit of hopelessness more bitter than the heart of Jim Fassel.

Hot Bog Poll

2008-02-06T16:10:00.001-05:00

Things are getting a little testy, which is better than little testes, over at Big Stein's, where this week's voting results + jet lag = an irritable poll host. He also anointed Jamie Paquette and me as some kind of Supervoters, so you have to like that. Anyway, I've still got Georgetown #1 of course, Tech and Maryland push ahead of VCU because of the Rams' loss at George Mason, so tough for them going from #2 to #5. Mason can't go ahead of the other two because they lost at UNCW, though. Still a slight edge for the Hokies over the Terps until Maryland shows a couple more wins in the current "hot streak." After the Top Five, UMBC by default over Virginia, which has replaced James Madison as the worst team in the poll. William and Mary won two so they move up and Morgan State reenters just ahead of Hampton. If I could give an 11th, it would be tough to choose between Loyola and Richmond.

1. Georgetown
Hoyas’ five-game winning streak meets South Florida’s eight-game losing streak Tuesday night. Who made this match, Dr. Neil Clark Warren?

2. Virginia Tech
Hokies are 3-1 in overtime games this season, but a woeful 0-7 in games in which they trailed at the end of regulation

3. Maryland
Terps had five players in double figures against Georgia Tech, the kind of balanced effort that has made the Flying Wallendas an international success, except for the rare occasions when one or more of them has fallen and died or suffered crippling injuries.

4. George Mason
In the four games since he shot 10-10 from three-point range at James Madison, Dre Smith has shot 3-23. Might be a good time to switch to southpaw.

5. VCU
Rams’ forward Larry Sanders blocked seven shots against Towson, then celebrated the team’s win with dinner at Hank’s Lookaround Café.

6. UMBC
Retrievers carry injured opponents to their bench where coach Randy Monroe humanely puts them out of their misery by quickly wringing their necks.

7. Virginia
“Hey, JR, it’s Sean … How you been …. Good, good, the team’s doing real good … No, no, nothing’s wrong, I was just calling to say hey, you know, see what’s up … ”

8. William & Mary
In churches, the sexton is responsible for maintaining the grounds and digging graves. For William and Mary, freshman guard John Sexton has assumed the responsibility for burying the opposition.

9. Morgan State
Bears beat Delaware State after becoming enraged when they discover that Hornets don’t make honey.

10. Hampton
Jerry West > Rashad West > Adam West

Super Bowl Bog Poll

2008-01-30T13:40:00.001-05:00

Actually, I got nothing on the Super Bowl, except that we were almost going to be on a plane at kickoff. See, the Doc has a conference this weekend in Orlando, and we are taking the kids so they can do the Disney/Universal thing, and when she originally booked the flight, take off was at just about kickoff. Seeing as how my sons would rather go to an Orlando Magic game than Magic Kingdom, this could not stand. So we changed our flight arrangements and should be safely parked in front of the TV for the big game on Sunday. As far as a prediction, boy, it's hard for me to muster up any tender feelings for either team. Give me a 10-9 borefest of a defensive battle with Brady failing on fourth down to end the game on his knees wishing he had accepted the marriage proposal from the reporter at Media Day.

As far as the poll, Georgetown absolutely stole the game in West Virginia, a brazen act considering the Mountaineers are usually the larcenous party on their home court. VCU still strong atop the CAA, but losing to Mason last night will hurt them in next week's rankings. Virginia Tech is a tough, ugly team with an ugly record, but the Hokies have every right to their spot in the poll. Mason dropped a bad one to UNCW, Maryland should have beaten Duke, and Virginia could find itself cozying up to Morgan State at the bottom of the poll next week if the Cavaliers lose at Maryland. Very likely to see two MEAC teams next week and Richmond has its work cut out against URI coming up.

1. Georgetown
I haven’t seen such an obvious Patrick Ewing goaltending call since the 1982 National Championship game against North Carolina.
2. VCU
Rams have won their last five games against Drexel, making them the best Dragonslayers since Peter MacNicol.
3. Virginia Tech
After the Hokies win in overtime at Boston College, the first question to Seth Greenberg from the Boston media is whether he has any information on the status of Tom Brady’s ankle.
4. Maryland
Not surprisingly, Landon Millbourne is the Terrapins’ team champion in Milles Bournes, the internationally acclaimed French card game of road racing.
5. George Mason
Patriots lose to a UNC-Wilmington team led by two guys named Vlad and Chad, who also host a drive-time morning radio show that is the #1 Arbitron-rated program in the Greater Cape Fear media market.
6. Virginia
Virginia correctly went to a box-and-one defense in overtime against Georgia Tech, but mistakenly guarded Matt Causey with the “one” instead of the “box.”
7. UMBC
Retrievers get their Alpha Dog swag back against Boston University, marking the Case Gym as their territory in a 62-40 win.
8. Hampton
Pirates have righted the ship that strayed off course in December, set sail for March Madness.
9. Richmond
Richmond forward Oumar Sylla is a terror in the lane, but he was tiwce as effective with his high school teammate, Joe Charybdis.
10. William & Mary
Contrary to widely held belief, William and Mary’s Kaplan Arena is not named for standardized testing guru Stanley Kaplan, but rather, Gabe Kaplan, who won the arena in a high-stakes poker game from College President, Gene Nichol.

Slow and Steady Bog Poll

2008-01-23T09:09:00.000-05:00

Georgetown loses for the second time, so if wind conditions were perfect, the other teams in the poll could get a whiff of the Hoyas, but they still can't see them. VCU stays strong atop the CAA. Virginia Tech pushes ahead with a win at Virginia, but it's a weak statement when combined with a bad loss at Georgia Tech. Mason still stalking VCU, squeezes ahead of UVA, who could have made a bid for #2 by beating BC. Maryland moves up two spots with the big win at #1 UNC. Voters in Big Stein's poll moved the Terps all the way to #3, but I still have memories of American to temper my enthusiasm. Put it this way, if Maryland beats Duke this week, they are #3, probably #2. If they don't, 5 or 6 is about right. Big moves by Hampton (undefeated in the MEAC) and William & Mary (third place in the CAA).

1. Georgetown
Georgetown PR Office trying to squelch the announcement that New Jack has been voted Best New Mascot by NAMFLA, the North American Man Furry Love Association.

2. VCU
Temperatures dropped to 15 degrees during Rams win at Old Dominion. Fortunately, the game was being played indoors.

3. Virginia Tech
In his apology following his two-game suspension, Hokies’ Jeff Allen promises that he “ain’t gonna bump no more with no big fat referee.”

4. George Mason
James Madison’s scouting report identified the Patriots’ primary scoring threats, but they forgot about Dre.

5. Virginia
Cavaliers’ Mamadi Diane attributes his inspired play against Boston College to the outrageous hilarity of the student section cheer sheets.

6. Maryland
When the smoke clears over College Park, Terps disappointed to find that they are still in seventh place in the ACC.

7. UMBC
Retrievers try to turn the corner against Binghamton, but lose their footing on the Events Center’s freshly waxed hardwood floor.

8. James Madison
If this keeps up, Tom Petty will dedicate “Free Fallin” to the Dukes at halftime of the Super Bowl.

9. Hampton
Five-game win streak has the Pirates feeling “zestangicy.”

10. William & Mary
Linus Pauling > Linus Kiselius > Linus van Pelt > Scott Van Pelt

Flickerish Whips

2008-01-18T15:00:00.000-05:00

Cloverfield
Ahh, Cloverfield. It sounds so pretty, so peaceful, so like something you'd just want to lie down in for a nice, sweet-smelling nap, so of couse it's an action horror flick about an alien that attacks Manhattan and beheads the Statue of Liberty (Metaphor alert! Metaphor alert!). Superstar TV producer J.J. Abrams, sooo hip with "Lost", "Alias", and "Felicity", is back to the big screen where his product has had mixed results ("Mission Impossible III", "Armageddon", "The Pallbearer", "Forever Young"). Director Matt Reeves combines twitchy, Blair Witchy camera angles and off-screen shouting with lighting seemingly provided solely by blinding explosions and flickering fluorescents. At least that's what I gathered from the trailer, which tries to add to the suspense by not letting you see the monster (hint: I don't think it's the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man). Rejected alternate titles included Dangerfield, Bloombergfield, Sallyfield, and Lambeaufield.

Mad Money
Any movie theater owner with half a brain would be offering Ladies' Night ticket specials this Sunday for "Mad Money" showtimes that go up against the NFL playoffs. Director Callie Khouri helped bring us "The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood" and "Thelma and Louise", and with a cast that features Diane Keaton, Queen Latifah and Katie Holmes, "Mad Money" looks like the frontrunner for what women will really be talking about at their next book club meeting when they realize that none of them actually read a book this month. "Mad Max", "Mad Men", "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World," heck even "Mad TV" and "Mad About You" before "Mad Money." What's it about? I dunno, a bunch of chicks steal government money that was headed for the shredder. Then they blow it all on shoes and and sea salt scrub pedicures.

27 Dresses
Am I the only person who hoped this was a documentary about former Redskin great Ken Houston's pregame routine? Yeah, I thought so. Double-dose of chick flick this weekend as we go from formulaic man-hating feminist empowerment power trip to paint-by-number romantic comedy wedding fantasy. You may have come to love Katherine Heigl as the blonde bombshell of "Gray's Anantomy" and "Knocked Up," but I'll always treasure her as the redheaded heroine of "Bride of Chucky," which perfectly employed Jennifer Tilly's acting skils by casting her as a wooden doll. Seriously, we need another wedding movie like we need another James Bond movie, but if you people keep throwing money away on these things, Hollywood will keep churning them out.

Teeth
Thankfully in limited release, "Teeth" can be summarized by a phrase that strikes fear, loathing and nausea into the hearts, minds and souls of all heterosexual men: vagina dentata. there, I typed it. Now I need to go throw up. I'd really have to question the director, Mitchell Lichtenstein, regarding his motive for making this his feature film debut, but I guess when your dad is Roy Lichtenstein, you might be able to come up with some pretty wacky stuff. If I ever see this one, be assured I'll wear a cup.

Cassandra's Dream
Speaking of discomforting sexual imagery, there's a new Woody Allen movie coming out this weekend. Still in exile in London, Allen puts Ewan McGregor and Colin Farrell and a bunch of Brits you've never heard of in yet another crime thriller, a dully recurring theme of late for him. You know, "Match Play" was okay, but it was no "Take the Money and Run." Here, the title makes obvious classical inferences, but unless Allen reprises the hilarious Greek chorus of "Mighty Aphrodite," I'm betting we won't be able to figure this one out. Worse yet, we won't care.

Taxi to the Dark Side
And, finally, your weekly anti-Iraq War movie. And it's a documentary. Doesn't that just set you all agiggle? Alex Gibney, the Oscar-nominated director of "Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room," studies the case of an innocent Afghan taxi driver who was tortured and killed in 2002 to examine the larger issues of the war and torture. We should all probably see this movie and become enlightened and enraged. But, we probably won't.

Bog Poll: No Rhymes, Not Much Reason

2008-01-14T15:33:00.000-05:00

Okay, here we go: Georgetown still Number One by leaps, bounds and pirouettes. When you win a game on a Roy Hibbert three-pointer, it's a good day to play the lottery, too. VCU might not be better than Virginia, but the Rams did not lose their last two games by 60 points either. Virginia Tech grabbed a win against something called Charleston Southern and shoved Maryland back down to the bowels of the ACC and the Bog Poll. George Mason, James Madison, and UMBC all had nondescript losses but paired them with at least one unimpressive win, so not much change there. Splits for the bottom three also with Richmond feeling like John Edwards hanging on to the #10 spot with a triple-overtime win against LaSalle. Lots of teams waiting in the wings including Hampton at 7-6, GW at 5-6 with a 49-20 (!) win over St. Louis, and if VMI (9-6)can get two straight wins over teams I have heard of, they might get in.

1. Georgetown
Georgetown radio man Rich Chvotkin’s summary of the season thus far: “Hoyas win, Hoyas win, Hoyas win, Hoyas win, Hoyas win, Hoyas win, Hoyas win, Hoyas win, Hoyas lose, Hoyas win, Hoyas win, Hoyas win, Hoyas win, Hoyas win.
2. VCU
Rams move up in the rankings with wins over Georgia State and Hofstra, a.k.a. the Maryland and Georgia Tech of the CAA.
3. Virginia
10 days after losing by 38, the Cavaliers lost by 22; if they can just continue to improve at this rate, they’ll get their next win on January 27 and go on to win the national championship game on April 7 by 104.4 points.
4. Virginia Tech
Seth Greenberg throws up when his team loses close games? So that’s how he keeps so trim.
5. George Mason
On the minus side, the Patriots lost at Delaware. On the plus side, they stayed overnight and had a whole day of sales tax-free shopping.
6. UMBC
Retrievers roll over and play dead against the Maine Black Bears, an excellent survival tactic in the wild, not so good on the basketball court.
7. James Madison
Dukes cannot overcome William and Mary’s dramatic homecourt advantage in Williamsburg, the town where CAA title dreams go to die.
8. Maryland
After Terps lose to Virginia Tech, Gary Williams takes away sneakers, forces players to practice in Birkenstocks
9. American
Winning at Lehigh about as impressive as winning the Wyoming primary.
10. Richmond
Spiders need three overtimes to score 75 points against LaSalle. Over-under for total score in Richmond’s game against St. Louis University currently hovering at 50.

Relentlessly Unbalanced Bog Poll

2008-01-07T12:43:00.000-05:00

Happy Monday, everybody! Today's post title comes courtesy of an enthusiastically loquacious (or is it loquaciously enthusiastic) Associated Press writer whose coverage of the Xavier-UVA blowout provided me with some chuckles as I reviewed last week's play of the Bog Poll teams. Of course, I had to laugh because the only other reasonable reaction would have been to cry as the losses piled up. Georgetown's season is becoming more monotonous than the USC Fight Song, Virginia got crushed but stayed at #2 because VCU could only manage a split. Virginia Tech swapped with JMU and I'm probably not giving UMBC enough credit at #7. Richmond is back in for the first time since my initial poll, and American forced me to rethink one of my basic rules about the Bog Poll after Old Dominion and Morgan State dropped below .500.

1. Georgetown
Next week, Robbie Madison will attempt to best his New Year’s Eve world record motorcycle jump of 322 feet by jumping the gap between the Hoyas and the Number 2 Bog Poll team.
2. Virginia
The Associated Press article on UVA’s 108-70 loss to Xavier described Sean Singletary’s 14 points in this game as “harmless.” Apparently, Singletary is pre-med and has already taken the Hippocratic Oath and figured that scoring more points would be a violation of Virginia’s honor code. The article also made note of Xavier’s “relentlessly balanced offense.”
3. VCU
Rams relentlessly balanced their week’s record with a win at UNC-Wilmington after losing to James Madison.
4. George Mason
After watching the season premier of “The Wire,” Jim Larranaga decides that his team’s loss to Georgia State was definitely the fault of the Baltimore Sun.
5. James Madison
Dean Smith > Dean Keener > Dean Wormer
6. Virginia Tech
Saturday’s game against the Terps will be the thrilling conclusion of ESPN’s “I can’t believe these are major Division I programs Week.”
7. UMBC
If college basketball were politics, UMBC’s win at New Hampshire would force American and VMI to drop their programs until next season.
8. Maryland
After beating Charlotte, Gary Williams puts names back on players’ lockers but uses erasable ink so they don’t get cocky.
9. Richmond
Tied with Georgetown for longest active Bog Poll win streak of three games. Also like the Hoyas, they play five men on the court at a time. There the similarities end.
10. American
Losing to an Ivy League opponent not starting with the letter P used to be grounds for a minimum two-week suspension from the Bog Poll. Beating one in your next game should not make up for it.

Groovy Movie Friday

2008-01-04T14:41:00.000-05:00

Okay, maybe not groovy, but what else rhymes with movie? Exactly. So, we have a couple opening today, so let's take a look. As always, I have not seen these fine cinematic achievements, and I almost certainly never will. But if an uniformed public can choose a president, I see no reason not to talk about movies I'll never see.

One Missed Call
Japanese horror film remake, a tactic I am generally against as American studios usually glam the interesting originality right out, but the success of films like "The Grudge" and "The Ring" means Hollywood will keep churning these out like greasy imitation popcorn butter. Shannyn Sossamon stars and she was pretty spooky as the ghost in "Dirt" on F/X, so this could be okay except that we also get Edward Burns, whose smug mug has to rank at the top of most guys' list of actors they'd like to slap silly. The credit line he generated with "The Brothers McMullen" was overdrawn about a decade ago. Also featured is Azura Skye who was born named Azura Dawn Storozynski. I understand why she wanted a name change, but why not just go with Azura Dawn? Surely she can't hope to displace Ione Skye, femme fatale of the indy 90s. Also, Margaret Cho fulfills the "Asian in a Japanese remake" role required by the Japanese Ministry of Culture; just guessing here, but her character probably provides exposition, explaining to the ignorant Americans the ancient Eastern origins of whatever horror is terrorizing them. Or she plays a comedian. It's a tossup.

The Killing of John Lennon
So, we go from nasty suspense thriller to a character study of the man who shot to death one of the iconic figures of rock music and modern pop culture. Wow, I think I'll go rent "The House of Sand and Fog" to cheer myself up. Press materials from the official website for this movie insist that it is "entirely factual," which is a welcome change from the "based on a true story" explanation that allows filmmakers to propagandize to their bleeding hearts' content. Jonas Ball makes his feature film debut as Mark David Chapman; his previous credits are all in television, including voice work for the Japanese cartoon series translated by IMDB as "I My Me! Strawberry Eggs." Could be worse. He could have worked on a Japanese game show. I am surprised to say that I might actually want to see "The Killing of John Lennon," although I think I'd rather see "The Assassination of Richard Nixon" or, even better, "The Taking of Pelham One Two Three."

New Year, New Bog Poll

2008-01-02T23:32:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year, and if the greeting is almost two days late, well, hey, so is this week's Bog Poll, which by the way Big Stein didn't even run this week. But I promised limericks, so limericks ye shall have:

1. Georgetown
Final Four looks to be within reach
For the Hoyas again if they each
Learn how best to convert
At a rate like Hibbert
Best we’ve seen since the baskets held peach?

2. Virginia
The jumpshot of Sean Singletary
Can at times his entire team carry
But if no one else helps
The Cavs look like whelps
Worse than Swordfish sans Halle Berry

3. VCU
VCU can’t wait for more madness
So Maynor can show off his badness
And they hope to repeat
The improbable feat
That filled the Duke fans’ hearts with sadness

4. George Mason
The team from the city of Fairfax
Made the nation’s media make tracks
To their Final Four game
Which brought them much more fame
Than their namesake’s assault on stamp tax

5. Virginia Tech
It’s sad that a once brilliant Hokie
Is serving hard time in the pokey
But the basketball team
Is still living the dream
Let’s give them a break, okey–dokey?

6. James Madison
The Dukes’ fans might get the sensation
They’ll get a Big Dance invitation
Their win total is high
But a bad RPI
Will end their joyous celebration

7. UMBC
Some people might call the Retrievers
Scrappy, gutty overachievers
But come tournament time
Bet a nickel and dime
They’ll turn doubters into believers

8. American
There once was a team called the Eagles
Opponents kicked them like Jeff Feagles
But one night at Comcast
The offense turned full blast
And made the Terps heel just like beagles

9. Maryland
There once was a team coached by Gary
Whose perimeter shooting was scary
If a player named Greivis
Keeps acting mischievous
In March they’ll be in the library

10. Morgan State
For a team that has not ever been
To the Tournament for a quick spin
’08 could be the year
They break into a cheer
I just hope they avoid the play-in

Christmas Bog Poll Haiku

2007-12-24T12:33:00.000-05:00

Georgetown loses on the road to the Number 2 team in the nation, so I can't really punish them too much for that. Nothing special from the next three although wins on the road are always good, even at Bradley and Florida International. James Madison finally plays a decent team (Seton Hall) and loses, but the mess that is the bottom half of the poll moves the Duke up a spot. Morgan State moves up idly, Virginia Tech (don't ask me why) is next, and UMBC staves off execution by beating Hampton. American vaults into the poll with its first win over Maryland in 80 years, and this week, it's the Terps' turn to cling to the last spot of the Top 10 like Wily Coyote on a cliffside branch. Old Dominion's two losses drop them out from the #5 spot, even though they beat Virginia Tech eight days ago.

About the comments. Last week Big Stein said he might not run a poll for a couple weeks because of holidays and people not having the time to vote. I replied that not only would I vote, all my pithy comments would be in haiku form. It's not good haiku, and I don't think it's very pithy, but here it is:

1. Georgetown
First loss of the year
I hate John Calipari
Hoyas still Number One
2. Virginia
One quality win
Three-pointers by the bushel
No Grinch in ‘Hooville
3. VCU
Five wins in a row
Maynor indomitable
Sweet 16 this March
4. George Mason
Pimped-out band leader
Larranaga’s wizardry
’06 was no fluke
5. James Madison
Only two losses
Still not much of a ranking
Beat somebody good
6. Morgan State
Bozeman the savior
Bears’ hibernation over
MEAC foes beware
7. Virginia Tech
Inconsistent play
Cannot win outside Cassell
ACC basement
8. UMBC
Best team in the state
Destination March Madness
Thanks, James Madison!
9. American
Sweet historic win
Nostalgic thoughts of Kermit
Tenleytown riots?
10. Maryland
Three straight at Comcast
Nobody helping Vasquez
Hokies’ cellarmates

Bog Poll

2007-12-18T10:19:00.000-05:00

A little late on this week's poll, but there's all the Christmas shopping and, hey, I'm working without a kitchen here (more on that tomorrow, maybe). Anyway, Georgetown just keeps winning, VCU still hasn't done enough to pass Virginia (beating Longwood certainly doesn't do it), and lots of idle teams this week. ODU makes the big leap with a solid win over Virginia Tech, knocking the Hokies down a few pegs, Maryland would have slipped further with a home loss to Ohio if anyone around them had won, and UMBC hasn't beaten a Division I opponent since the beginning of the month.

1. Georgetown
Hoyas beat Radford, the Highlanders’ worst loss since Highlander: Endgame, a largely unsuccessful attempt to blend the television and movie series. Repeat broadcast of this game will be shown all month on Sci-Fi Channel.
2. Virginia
Least impressive #2 since Rob Lowe replaced Robert Wagner in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me.
3. VCU
Kirill Pishchalnikov asked his teammates to call him Kalashnikov, but he has to make at least one three-pointer before they will acquiesce.
4. George Mason
Patriots beg Jim Larranaga to take them to go see I Am Legend during the week off, but Coach L is more of an Alvin and the Chipmunks kind of guy.
5. Old Dominion
Monarch forward Gerald Lee’s hometown of Uusikaupunki, Finland, dates back to 1721, but its name translates as New City. Those crazy Finns!
6. James Madison
Dukes’ idle week gives them badly needed free time to find the perfect gift for oh-so-hard-to-shop-for Coach Dan Keener.
7. Maryland
Terps’ home loss to Ohio University is the biggest win for the visiting Bobcats since Gary “Shaq of the MAAC” Trent owned the Athens hardwood.
8. Morgan State
With a season-high 13 points against LaSalle, senior forward Karanvir Aujla is making a name for himself. Not a name you can pronounce or spell, but a name nonetheless.
9. Virginia Tech
Hokies quest for a road win about as successful as Quest for Fire.
10. UMBC
With three straight Division I losses, Retrievers just keeping this seat warm for Mount St. Mary’s.

Friday

2007-12-14T17:27:00.000-05:00

A couple quick sports hits before we get to some movies opening today:

Mitchell Report
I don't care. Really. Nor am I surprised. I would be surprised if, say, Jose Lind (nine home runs in nine major league seasons) showed up on the list, but other than that, no, not surprised and not really that concerned. There was no effective testing for steroids at the time that most of these guys were juicing, and they had a tremendous financial incentive, so why are we shocked, (shocked!) that many if not most gave in to the temptation. Even if you didn't want to take steroids, you had to at least think about it because so many other players were, and you were losing a competitive edge by not joining them. I don't think MLB should try to take the records away from guys like Clemens and Bonds, but I have never been one to see the records as sacred either. I will still go to games and watch them on TV. I won't buy jerseys and other paraphernalia, but I don't really do that anyway. I can admit to being disappointed for my sons' sakes, but that's about it. I'm with Senator Mitchell on this one. Get a good testing program in place, and let's move on. Best line I heard about it came from my neighbor, "I was surprised to see Manny Alexander's name on the list because I thought they were performance-enhancing drugs." Hi-Yo!!!

Wizards
Wow, wow, wow! 12-10 after an 0-5 start? 9-5 without Gilbert Arenas? Washington has won five of its last six, and while only one of those wins came against a team with a winning record (Toronto) and only one was a road game (Miami), it is great to see guys like Andray Blatche and Nick Young getting an opportunity to develop. The Wiz are still in the second tier of the Eastern Conference, which, Boston excepted, can't touch the West, but they are not far behind Orlando and Detroit, and they are in much better shape than preseason darlings Cleveland and Chicago. Nothing too scary looms on the schedule until Detroit on January 2, and by then the Wizards might be ready to prove that they will be ready to challenge for an East title with a healthy Arenas.

College Basketball
Ugh. Do I have to? Either hoops or Ravens, you say? Okay, okay, college hoops. After getting crushed at Virginia Tech, GW lost at home to the 2-7 Binghamton Bearcats. The Colonials could not join Cornell, Akron, St. Bonaventure, Rider, Chicago State, Central Connecticut State, or Colgate in doing a victory dance after playing Binghamton and are now 0-2 against America East teams. Nuff said.

Maryland is not as awful as GW, but they aren't that good either, getting beaten convincingly at Comcast Center by Ohio University (the Bobcats, not the Buckeyes). Please stop calling this a shocker. The Terps barely survived Northeastern and Hampton and could not handle VCU. They will get better but Hayes and Vasquez have a lot of trouble with quicker opponents (Eric Maynor of VCU, for example), and leadership has yet to coalesce for this team. For all his flaws on offense, DJ Strawberry is exactly what this team misses most: a lock-em up defender and a player who understands that emotional leadership doesn't mean getting ejected for punching the basket support.

The news is no better else where in the Maryland State University system with UMBC losing to Central Connecticut State. George Mason has a couple weeks to stew on its loss to Kent State while VCU looks to make it four straight against Longwood this weekend. James Madison has one more tasty treat coming up against Radford before getting a real test in Seton Hall and Gerogetown should roll Radford as well but meets #2 Memphis on the 22nd.

Full wrap up on Monday.

Movies
I am Legend
Hear me roar! Hmm ... a man finds himself alone in New York CIty and has to fend off the attacks of the undead ... I thought this was a sci-fi film, not a documentary. Anyway, Will Smith recreates a Charlton Heston role as the title character in a postapocalyptic world, science fiction being one of Heston's preferred milieus (Soylent Green, Planet of the Apes, NRA commercials). This one looks pretty good, but after watching Smith destroy the bad guys in Independence Day and Men In Black, I don't think there is any suspense about the ending.

Juno
IMDB describes Juno as "Knocked Up for the younger generation." Greeeeaaat, that's just what we need. Man, if you think the Catholics hated The Golden Compass, wait 'til Pope Benedict screens Juno for the College of Cardinals. Since Juno has already been nominated for lots of Hollywood awards, I am pretty sure director Jason (son of Ivan) Reitman is not taking the ABC afterschool special approach. In fact Reitman is an equal opportunity religious offender, no doubt knowing that in Roman mythology, Juno was the queen of the gods, the wife (and sister) of Jupiter, and the goddess of marriage. When you are married to an ob-gyn, you pretty much have to see any movie about pregnancy, so I'll let you know where it falls on the Knocked Up - Vera Drake sliding scale.

The Kite Runner
'Tis the season for high-minded films, especially adaptations of serious fiction (see Atonement, Love in the Time of Cholera, et al), and although director Marc Forster has managed to draw audiences and acclaim for unlikely material in the past (Monster's Ball, Finding Neverland), he will be hard-pressed to match that success with this tale about modern-day Afghanistan falling back under the control of the Taliban. U.S. moviegoers have largely ignored films about the Iraq War and Kite Runner will probably get the same treatment. Forster's next project is a James Bond movie (seriously) which makes about as much sense as the director of Y tu Mama Tambien doing a Harry Potter (this actually happened), but at least he'll have a built in audience.

The Perfect Holiday
Queen Latifah for star power, Gabrielle Union for the guys, Morris Chestnut for the gals, a cute little girl who wants Santa to bring her a new Daddy (like Ms. Union wouldn't have them lining up outside her door). Okay, fine, but the most interesting thing about his movie is that the director, Lance Rivera, cofounded a record label with the Notorious B.I.G. Let's hope things work out better for his cinematic partners than they did in the recording industry.

Alvin and the Chipmunks
Sadly, of the five movies I've discussed today, this is the one I am most likely to see in the theater, probably in the week between Christmas and New Year's Day when the kids are out of school and two-hour blocks of time are in desperate need of killing. Speaking of needing killing, director Tim Hill also brought us Garfield II, A Tale of Two Kitties. Hang on though, he gets off the hook for The SpongeBob Squarepants Movie. He's also the nephew of George Roy Hill, who truly made the world a better place with Slapshot, The Sting and Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

That's it. Congrats if you made it through all those words. Have a nice third Sunday of Advent.

Philadelphia Freedom

2007-12-12T13:00:00.000-05:00

So, what have we got today? Wizards recap? Nope. Nice win and pretty impressive how they've been playing since Agent Zero went down, but last night was dedicated to Christmas tree trimming, so I don't have much to say about the Wiz. Two-day old Ravens rehash? Ugh, no thank you. After a shining turn in the spotlight against the Patriots, Baltimore returned to its hideous ways against the Colts. Not sure which is of greater concern, Kyle Boller's miserable performance or Ray Lewis looking really, really old trying to cover Jospeh Addai on pass routes.

No, today, we are going to talk American history. Really.

See, I went to Philadelphia yesterday, and, for once, my destination was not the Palestra. Nor the Spectrum, McGonigle Hall, St. Joe's Memorial Field House, nor the Liacouras Center. I had seen about 30 or 40 college basketball games in the City of Brotherly Love, but the closest I had come to experiencing any of its cultural treasures was doing the Rocky Balboa Shuffle after jogging up the Art Museum steps (something every good American should do at least once).

But I made up for all that ignorance in five-hour fell swoop, touring the city's Revolutionary War sites with about two-dozen fifth graders and nearly as many parents and teachers. Liberty Bell? Check. Very cool, lots of historical information there, if you care to stop and read, which most fifth-graders do not. Independence Hall and Congress Hall? Yes, indeed. Excellent tours from United States Park Rangers pointing out various distinctions regarding the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution, both of which were written here.

For instance, the Declaration of Independence was approved by the 56 members of the Continental Congress July 4, 1776, and 200 copies were printed and distributed, but the signed copy that sits in the National Archives is dated August 2, 1776. Only about 25 of those printed copies are accounted for to date, and the most recently discovered copy fetched $8.5 million at auction a few years ago. The actual writing was inscribed by Timothy Matlack (Thomas Jefferson had lousy penmanship), and it was read aloud for the first time in public by John Nixon on July 8, 1776. I knew none of this before yesterday.

All that learning made us quite hungry so we chowed on bag lunches at an historic food court nearby and browsed the gift shops for some patriotic Chinese-made souvenirs. We then proceeded to the site of Ben Franklin's original home, where naturally the big hit for the kids was the privy pit ("Ben Franklin pooped here."). We also saw a demonstration of a period printing press and learned about the archaelogical dig that preceeded the construction of the National Constitution Center (more discussion of privy pits). Finally we stopped in at Christ Church for a brief but informative and surprisingly inspiring tour/sermon about its history. Then it was back on the bus where everything was put into appropriate context with a screening of "National Treasure" on the ride home.

A few asides. As I said, all the tour guides were excellent. We were escorted around to the various sites by a woman in period dress (except for sensible walking shoes) who was knowledgeable, enthusiastic, and about as entertaining as a person in that role can be. Over the course of the day, we walked several miles all told, but there was plenty to keep us occupied and I am sure we could have seen more, had time permitted. Not surpisingly, historic Philadelphia loves Ben Franklin. Much like visiting Mount Vernon and getting the George Washington spin on American history, a trip to Philly takes on a very Franklin feel, just as I would imagine visiting Monticello gives you the Jeffersonian view. Nothing wrong with it, but these localized cults of personality can be amusing.

All in all, this was a great experience and proof that the occasional foray outside the world of sports, movies and what I watched on TV last night can be quite rewarding. Now, about that Terp hoop game against Ohio tonight ...

Bog Poll Week 5

2007-12-10T20:43:00.000-05:00

Yawn, Georgetown is still Number 1. Very difficult dilemma coming up for me in a few weeks when the Hoyas play at #2 Memphis. As much as I'd like to see Georgetown lose and fall out of the top spot just for a little variety, there is no one I'd like to see lose more than Memphis coach John Calipari. Maybe the Hoyas will help me out and fall on their faces against Radford on Saturday. Yeah. And maybe the Ravens won't become the Dolphins first win of the season this Sunday.

Virginia stays at #2 with a close home loss to Syracuse because George Mason and UMBC also split their games. VCU jumps to #3 on the strength of three straight wins with Maryland right behind. James Madison needs to beat somebody, anybody, in the top 100 to legitimize its 6-1 record. After that, it's the usual pick 'em with Virginia Tech, Morgan State and Old Dominion getting the nod. American, Loyola, Towson and Hampton also receiving votes.

GW? You can lose by 30 at #2 UCLA, and your ranking won't suffer much, but Virginia Tech is one of the worst teams in the ACC and the Colonials looked awful. Then again, they were a perfect lead-in to the Ravens' game.

1. Georgetown
Kent Benson and Quinn Buckner will have the champagne on ice for the Hoyas’ game at Memphis on December 22.
2. Virginia
Only an endorsement from Oprah keeps the Cavaliers from falling to #3.
3. VCU
Rams cut Richmond’s scoring from 30 in the first half to 15 in the second. Mathematicians throughout the state capital debate whether the Spiders would have scored 0 or 7.5 in a hypothetical overtime.
4. Maryland
Greivis Vasquez and Gary Williams – Proud graduates of the Bart Scott School of Etiquette and Composure.
5. George Mason
Patriots lose to the Kent State Golden Flashes, which were known as the Silver Foxes from 1920-26, and for one day in 1970, the Muzzle Flashes.
6. UMBC
Loss at Wichita State hurts the Retrievers’ ranking but not as much as a win at Goucher.
7. James Madison
Dukes continue their merciless rampage through the bottom tenth of the RPI.
8. Virginia Tech
Hokies beat GW 68-36, GW beat UMES 78-39, so UMES would be 71-point underdogs against Virginia Tech, if my math is correct .
9. Morgan State
Bears almost ready for long winter nap, also known as the MEAC regular season.
10. Old Dominion
UNC, Louisville, Georgetown, UMES … One of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesn’t belong, can you tell which thing is not like the other, by the time I finish my song?

Fitz Film Festival Friday

2007-12-07T15:41:00.000-05:00

Finally a day with some time to blog and since it's Friday, let's take a look at the movies coming out today. I haven't seen any of them, not even a trailer, and it's about a 95% probability that I won't see them, but I like movies, so let's have a look.

The Golden Compass
New Line Cinema tries to replicate its success with Lord of the Rings. Let's see .... best selling fantasy trilogy by British author? Check. Massive budget for special effects? Check. Numerous well-known British, Australian, or South African actors (they're all the same to us Yanks)? Check. Talking animals? Check. Whoops, sorry, scratch that. Talking animals are Narnia, not LoTR.

So what do we like about this one? Well, the religious right is up in arms about it, for one thing. And Nicole Kidman, for another. Always watchable, though I doubt this one will crack her Top Three (Dead Calm, To Die For, Flirting). And Sir Ian McKellen, who played Gandalf in LoTR. He is gay (McKellen, not Gandalf). So is Dumbledore, not sure about Magneto. For the ladies, we have Daniel Craig. For the fellas not captivated by Ms. Kidman, Eva Green. And finally, the protagonist is played by Dakota Blue Richards who has not one but two pretentious names. Anybody else think the casting director got fired for hiring the wrong Dakota?

Atonement
A little Jane Austen is almost too much for me, and this one just piles it on with Keira Knightley (Oscar-nominated in Pride and Prejudice) and James McAvoy (Becoming Jane) and director Joe Wright (P&P, again). Knightley is great in movies with a sword or a light saber or a soccer ball, but I don't see any of those making an appearance here. Enjoy it, ladies.

Grace is Gone
AKA, Gone Mommy Gone. John Cusack plays a dad who takes his daughters on a road trip to tell them their mom died fighting the war in Iraq. Nobody is a bigger John Cusack fan than I am, but I can't see this particular spin on the classic road movie formula working. State of Grace, Maria Full of Grace, sure. Grace is Gone. Nope.

Revolver
Finally, a movie for those of us in the testosterone division. It's a badass festival with Jason "The Transporter" Statham, Ray "Goodfellas" Liotta, and Andre "3000" Benjamin. Not in love with Guy Ritchie in the director's chair, but with a script adapted by Luc Besson, this one's got a chance, as long as it doesn't get too French. Otherwise, Hey-Ya!

The Walker
Tough call. Writer and director Paul Shrader has been at the top of the Hollywood heap with his involvement in Taxi Driver, Raging Bull, and The Last Temptation of Christ, but if you take him away from Martin Scorsese, you get dreck like Cat People and Mosquito Coast. Here, he reworks his box office smash American Gigolo with Woody Harrelson as the escort who finds himself caught up in a murder investigation. Unfortunately, the setting has moved from LA to Washington DC, so instead of glamour and Blondie, we get political scandal and Ned Beatty. Ugh. And, somehow I can't get too excited about a male escort movie where the female costars are Kristin Scott Thomas, Lilly Tomlin, Mary Beth Hurt and Lauren Bacall (I think she plays the corpse). Pass.

Stratofanatics

2007-12-04T15:11:00.000-05:00

Well, that was a game worth staying up for, wasn't it? And as hard as I was rooting for the Ravens, I can't deny that the Patriots earned the win. For every close call that went against Baltimore (Gaffney's winning TD, Ryan's illegal timeout, turnover on downs nullified by false start), they still had plenty of opportunities to win the game. If Ed Reed didn't fumble after a great interception return, if any of the Ravens' defenders picked off the ball that Ray Lewis tipped 20 feet in the air, if Baltimore got just one first down in the fourth quarter .... still, it's hard for me to remember beign so satisfied that my team played so well and came away with a loss. The defense pressured Brady ferociously, Willis McGahee had his best day as a Raven behind an offensive line that gave up no sacks (my personal favorite was the play where McGahee took a short pass and juked the NE defender so badly he was able to use him as a blocker), Kyle Boller outplayed Tom Brady for 3 quarters and even Yamon Figurs chipped in a nice punt return late in the game. Eventually, though, the Ravens succumbed to one of the great cliches of football. For three quarters, they kept Brady, Moss, & Co. off the field; the Pats had only six possessions in the first three periods, but they had four in the fourth. And so again, a one team irrationally uplifts the hearts and spirits of its fans while the other crushes those of its own in the brutal mortar and pestle of bitter defeat.

It was a doubly entertaining evening for me because I also watched the first half of the Denver-Green Bay game. You missed this one? Denver played Oakland on Sunday and Green Bay lost to Dallas last Thursday, you say? Duh, this was the 1996 Broncos against the Packers. Favre vs. Elway, Holmgen matching wits with Reeves, Lambeau Leap against Mile High Magic. Nope, not on ESPN Classic. Not Madden retro either. This epic battle, which ended in a 10-0 halftime score in favor of Denver was a Stratomatic battle between my sons.

Not familiar with Stratomatic Football? That's because you are a normal human being, with a healthy diversity of cultural interests, but if you are an 8 or 10-year old boy who feverishly collects sports jerseys and posters, fills entire notebooks with statistics of Hall of Fame inductees, and/or has already projected the entire 2008 NCAA Basketball Tournament (not just the field either, the complete results as well), Stratomatic is a gift directly from the Mount Olympus of sports gaming.

Part Madden, part Fantasy, Stratomatic is a board game that allows players to simulate games, calling offensive and defensive plays with results derived from percentages based on actual statistics from the previous season. Players can run, pass, score touchdowns, be penalized and even get injured. If it still sounds a bit dry for your tastes, you should see how feisty my sons get while playing. Then again, in our house, most board games are contact sports.

Last night was only the second time they played Stratomatic Football, but I foresee many hours spent rolling dice and gleefully checking cards and charts for results. How can I be so sure? Because I watched them play Stratomatic Baseball all summer, including a marathon week at the beach where nearly every waking minute in the house was spent at the gaming table, trying to determine whether or not the 2006 season was a statistical anomaly.

Wait a minute, I hear you saying, there's Stratomatic Baseball as well? Yep, and Hockey and Basketball and College Football, too.

So how did we acquire this blessing/curse? Well, it just so happens that about 22 years ago, I myself sat down with a college roommate and rolled the dice to see if the Redskins of John Riggins and Joe Washington could beat the Raiders in Super Bowl XVIII with me calling the plays this time (obviously, Rocket Screen was not in my playbook). Many epic battles ensued, but I have to say, I have not played (and rarely discussed in public) Stratomatic since graduating from college.

Fast forward to March, 2007, and this same college roommate bestowed a gift of the 1992 Stratomatic Baseball game on my boys. Note that the box had never been opened; he just happened to have it lying around, untouched, for 15 years. Never mind that many of the players in this game had retired before my sons were born, they took to it right away. Well, almost right away. There was that nasty incident where the Mike Mussina card was crumpled and nearly destroyed after a disastrous two innnings (my younger son has a pretty quick hook).

Naturally, I informed my friend how immensely the boys were enjoying his gift; he was so pleased to find some new converts that the 2006 baseball cards arrived in the mail the next week. Last weekend, we had another visit with my buddy, ostensibly to meet his new son, but my guys had a different agenda.

"Do you have any other Stratomatic games?"

"It just so happens I have a 1996 football game right here."

(Me) "We wouldn't want to take your game."

"Oh, don't worry. I've got at least three others in storage."

It seems appropriate to close this entry by noting that that this is a family of three living in a two-bedroom apartment in New York City. Space comes at quite a premium in the Big Apple, so it's not surprising that he might have a storage locker somewhere. Yes, he could store the games at his brother's house in New Jersey, but he doesn't trust his sister-in-law not to throw them away.

Bog Poll #4

2007-12-03T20:07:00.000-05:00

Honestly, where do the days go? That's right, it's time for another Bog Poll. Better get this one posted before I go watch the Ravens get slaughtered by the Patriots.

Georgetown continued its monotonous run atop the poll with an easy win over Fairfield. Virginia got back to its 90+ point scoring ways, nearly doubling up Northwestern. George Mason gave away the #2 spot with an inexplicable loss to East Carolina, and another strong week from UMBC has the Retrievers right behind the Patriots. VCU leapfrogged Maryland, dropping the Terps back to #6 despite their strong win against Illinois. James Madison jumps back in all the way at #7 by winning three straight after the debacle at VMI. After that, as usual it's a pick 'em. I took Morgan State, Hampton and Old Dominion, which rallied for a win after losing three straight to Top 10 teams. Virginia Tech, GW, Towson, Loyola, Richmond and even American are all lurking nearby, but you ahve to win some games to get into my Top 10.

1. Georgetown
All wins and no losses make John a dull boy. All wins and no losses make John a dull boy. All wins and no losses make John a dull boy. All wins and no losses make John a dull boy.
2. Virginia
Against Northwestern, Mamadi Diane’s jumpshot was tastier than Steak Diane.
3. George Mason
What’s worse, losing to a team that couldn’t beat Liberty or Richmond or becoming a team’s first Division I victory of the season? How about both?
4. UMBC
Retrievers now 4-0 against Bog Poll opponents, with Hampton the only remaining obstacle to an unblemished record.
5. VCU
Verizon Center public address announcer started to sound like Ben Stein on Sunday, “VCU basket by Shuler … Shuler … Shuler.”
6. Maryland
Bambale Osby asks fans and media to stop calling him “Boom” because he feels that name denigrates his heritage. Henceforth, he’d like to be called “Bam-Bam.”
7. James Madison
JMU’s OOC schedule is so soft the Dukes had a moment of silence to honor the death of Mr. Whipple before the Northeastern game.
8. Morgan State
Bears’ Boubacar Coly is the best Boubacar the area has seen since Boubacar Aw roamed the court for Georgetown in the late 90s.
9. Hampton
Howard lost the basketball game, but, more importantly, who won the drumline competition? 10. Old Dominion
Nothing like a little dose of Georgia State to cure the “losing against nationally-ranked teams” blues.

Poll Week Three

2007-11-26T11:45:00.000-05:00

How committed am I to the Bog Poll? Saturday, I took the whole family to watch GW at UMBC. Later that night, I watched part of Virginia against Seton Hall and Navy against Penn, a game that was tied 4-4 with 11 minutes to play in the first half. That is dedication, people.

Except for Georgetown, everybody lost at least one game this week. Pretty simple to figure 1-6, but very unclear after that. Number 7-15 could be reversed very easily. George Mason squeaked past Virginia for #2 on the strength of a Top 20 win over Kansas State and a Top 20 loss to Villanova, both at a neutral site. UVA's win at #17 Arizona was on the Wildcats' home floor, but the Cavaliers' loss to Seton Hall looks a little worse than losing to 'Nova, at least right now anyway. Bit of a drop to Maryland at #4, who will have a chance to impress against Illinois and VCU coming up. UMBC made the big move of the week with a solid win over a Maureece Rice-less GW squad. Retrievers have no size, but three-point shooting, experience and hustle covered up their flaws. VCU held its position with a win over Elon and has five straight Bog Poll teams coming up. GW has talent, but injuries and inexperience are major headaches for Karl Hobbs. If he can get this team healthy and fully committed to his system, watch out. Morgan State vaulted in at #8 on the strength of a close loss at Miami and unimpressive weeks by everyone else. Virginia Tech lost to a couple Top 25 teams in Alaska, but the Hokies are clinging to the edge right next to Old Dominion, who is in the midst of a brutal stretch of its schedule. James Madison fell out because of a loss at VMI. Loyola is knocking on the door with four weak wins, including Vermont, a team that Towson couldn't beat even though Towson beat Loyola. Coppin State, VMI, and American could also break through with a few consistent weeks. Big Stein will have his up later today, but here's how I voted:

1. Georgetown
In his postgame press conference, John Thompson blamed the ongoing writers’ strike for the lack of drama in Hoyas’ win at Ball State.
2. George Mason
Jim Larranaga finally made good on his promise to take his team to Disney World for getting to the Final Four, but Folarin Campbell was disappointed that lunch in Cinderella's Castle was sold out.
3. Virginia
The Philly Hoop Group Classic featured two teams from Maryland, one from DC, one from Virginia, one from Pittsburgh, one from New Jersey and only two from Philadelphia. Not very Philly. And with teams like Howard, Navy and Penn, not very hoop either. Definitely a group. Classic? About as Classic as the CBE Classic, the Old Spice Classic, and the BB&T Classic, I guess.
4. Maryland
Sprint Center joined Verizon Center on Gary Williams’ list of least favorite arenas named for telecommunications giants. Don't look for the Terps to play in the Alcatel-Lucent Center any time soon.
5. UMBC
Retrievers lost to Lafayette and beat George Washington last week. I wonder how they’ll do next week against Cornwallis College and Von Steuben State.
6. VCU
In Puerto Rico, Eric Maynor was dismayed to learn that Daddy Yankee is neither a Daddy nor a Yankee.
7. GW
The Colonials gave up more threes against UMBC than the runner-up in the National Go Fish Championship.
8. Morgan State
With close losses at Miami and Connecticut, Bears are ready to storm the cellars of the ACC and Big East.
9. Virginia Tech
Seth Greenberg gave his players a sundown curfew at Great Alaska Shootout, obviously forgetting that the sun won’t set for two more weeks.
10. Old Dominion
Monarchs must have looked past Clemson, UNC and Louisville in anticipation of Georgetown game.

Poll Week 2

2007-11-20T12:18:00.000-05:00

Georgetown coasts over Michigan to stay on top while Virginia's win at Arizona moves the Cavaliers up to #2. VCU drops two of three in Puerto Rico, but the losses were Miami and Arkansas and the win was Houston, so the Rams only fall to #6. Hampton had the Terps dead to rights and let them off the hook and then lost two straight. Much as I love the Pirates, you can't lose three in a week and stay in the Top 10. And the inverse (or is it the converse) is true for UMBC. Towson's loss to Bucknell knocks the Tigers out but their win over Loyola is looking better and better and I wouldn't be surprised to see both teams back in before 2008. James Madison hasn't beaten anybody, but they haven't lost either. Old Dominion's stay will be short-lived with one loss to Clemson and UNC and Georgetown coming up. Here's how Big Stein had 'em.

1. Georgetown
Not even a pregame pep talk from Patrick Swayze could help the Wolverines beat the Hoyas.
2. Virginia
Cavaliers were white-hot from three-point range to start their game against Arizona, but since the game was in Tucson, it’s a dry heat.
3. Maryland
Greivis Vasquez now has 28 wins as a Terrapin, only 5,203 fewer than Hall of Fame jockey Jacinto Vasquez.
4. George Mason
World Ball was a huge success except for the Dayton team, which was unable to locate the country where the basket resides.
5. GW
Alert the national media, a Boston area sports team lost a game.
6. VCU
Phi Slamma Jamma, Tom Penders? I don’t think so. More like Lambda Lambda Lambda.
7. UMBC
Three wins in one week, and for once, we’re not talking about the chess team.
8. Virginia Tech
Do Hokies eat turkey on Thanksgiving, or is that considered cannibalism?
9. James Madison
Over under for the Dukes’ game at VMI this week is higher than the projected attendance.
10. Old Dominion
Monarchs host North Carolina and Georgetown later this month. Funny, I didn’t know the Marquis de Sade was in the scheduling business.

"Nicotine + caffeine = protein"

2007-11-16T13:51:00.000-05:00

Let's get the weekend started right with some great radio. No, I'm not talking about Aubrey Huff and Bubba the Love Sponge; I think the reaction to that appearance has been much more amusing than the show itself, though. Golfer John Daly has a new book out, and his 20-minute appearance on NPR's Fresh Air yesterday was highly entertaining. Biggest surprise: notorious hotel room-trasher Daly is a neat freak, a recovering compulsive bedmaker. Best line of the interview (about his diet regimen): "Nicotine and caffeine equal protein." I might just put this book on my Christmas list.

Hoops, hoops, hoops
Maryland wins their second straight squeaker at home against a theoretically inferior opponent. Northeastern went one better than Hampton and took the Terps to overtime, but free throws doomed the Huskies as they missed the front end of two one-and-ones with less than four minutes in regulation and could only convert one of three when trailing by three with five seconds left in overtime. And of course it was Greivis Vasquez who committed the foul on the attempted trey that sent Northeastern to the line. Vasquez made up for poor shooting (2-10) with 10 assists, two turnovers and six rebounds but he still makes some questionable choices at important moments in a game. James Gist was a stud on offense with 27 points, but Bambale Osby was the hero with 16 points, 13 boards, and six blocks. Anchoring the press, Osby forced the Huskies to back off of several two-on-one fast break opportunities in the second half. The Terps had better get their full-court pressure in gear by the time ACC season comes around because those guys will be able to finish breaks better than the Huskies.

Doesn't sound like I missed much by not seeing Georgetown's easy 74-52 win over Michigan last night. Anybody else think a football game between these two would be a little closer than that?

By the time I post this, VCU will likely be underway against Miami. Both teams are 2-0, but for some reason Glenn Consor called VCU's win over Houston an upset akin to Mercer beating USC and Gardner Webb over Kentucky. I guess Glenn missed the Rams' win over Duke in the NCAAs last year and is not aware that Eric Maynor is as good as any guard in the ACC. Get thee to a Bog Poll, Glenn!

In other Bog Poll team previews, I'm betting Virginia's two-game streak of scoring at least 90 points comes to an end at Arizona. Just like real estate sales, the key to George Mason staying undefeated when they host Dayton tomorrow night is location, location, location; visitors to Dayton generally attempt about half as many free throws as the Flyers. With Towson and Hampton losing this week, UMBC could move up if the Retrievers can continue their road rampage through the bottom of the A-10 tomorrow at Richmond. Virginia Tech is shakily standing pat on a win over Elon, but Old Dominion could very well knock them out if the Monarchs take out Toledo.

Switching quickly to the NBA, the Wizards look to win their third game in a row tonight against Minnesota after starting the season 0-5. Agent Zero went 3-8 from three-point range and 9-11 from the line in the team's last game; if he is rounding into form, the Wiz have a good chance to get back over .500 soon. Washington's next three opponents have a combined record of 11-15, and two of the three are home games.

Cinema
Looks like a tough weekend for movies inspired by great novels. Robert Zemeckis, the innovator who brought us Back to the Future, Forrest Gump and Who Framed Roger Rabbit, has apparently missed the mark in applying the latest digital animation techniques to the 1300-year old story of Beowulf. I haven't seen it, but when you have a cast that includes John Malkovich, Anthony Hopkins, Angelina Jolie, Crispin Glover (brilliantly cast as Grendel the evil troll), and Robin Wright Penn, you might want to reconsider going the cartoon route. Then again, it can't be any worse than what Disney did to the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

Also falling short of its literary inspiration is Love in the Time of Cholera, from the acclaimed novel by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Not that I was rushing out to see this one anyway; I never could get through the book. Besides, if it's an erotic tour de force set in revolutionary-era Colombia, how can it hope to be successful with neither Salma Hayek nor Penelope Cruz on the screen?

I would rush to see No Country for Old Men (you know, were I not blessed with two wonderful children and all the delightful obligations thereof). The collaboration of Cormac McCarthy and the Coen Brothers has Baltimore Sun reviewer Michael Sragow invoking Sam Peckinpah and Norman Mailer. In a good way. Just don't expect to feel hopeful for the future of mankind after seeing this one.

Finally
Barry Bonds. If he's guilty, and I believe he is, it's a shame that he broke the home run record, but I don't think they should take it away from him. I think he should go to jail, but only because his personal trainer served time for contempt because he refused to testify. So Bonds should serve the same sentence and then go free. That seems like an appropriate punishment for lying to a grand jury about steroids. I mean, we're not talking about national security or murder here. Ground him and take away his iPhone for a month, but I don't see how a long jail sentence makes any sense.

Wednesday Whims

2007-11-14T14:55:00.000-05:00

Ravens
Kyle Boller will be the starting quarterback against the Browns this weekend because Steve McNair injured his nonthrowing shoulder. Based on how he played Sunday, that could be either his left or his right shoulder.

Wizards
Washington claws its way out of the Southeast Division cellar. Actually the Wizards were pushed out by Miami, whose record fell to 1-6 last night. Weren't these two teams supposed to be fighting for the top of the division?

Bog Poll
Loyola beat American last night, 71-67, after trailing by 17 in the first half. The Greyhounds also fell behind 16-4 in their season opener at Towson. Somebody might want to make sure the clocks in the basketball office got set back an hour when they were supposed to.

Hampton pushed Maryland to the brink Monday night despite head coach Kevin Nickelberry's ejection in the first half for violating the NCAA's new emphasis on bench decorum. Even Terps radio announcer Chris Knoche, the former AU coach and a solid homer, thought the punishment was a little excessive. The hero of the game was Maryland point guard Greivis Vasques, who hit a late three-pointer and scored 10 of the Terps' last 11 points, but Vasquez' erratic play also kept Hampton close. Looks like there's a new sweetheart in Maryland fans' love/hate relationship.

Other
In nonsports news, divers recovered the body of a man who was killed by a nine-foot alligator while fleeing from police after he burglarized a car on the Miccosukee Indian Reservation in Florida. Apparently the man dove into a lake and the divers had to had to search three times in two days to find the body. I guess my question is, did the divers know there was a killer alligator in the lake? Because I would consider that to be a pretty important factoid.

One of the guys who started Google is getting married. Anybody know how I can get some more information on this event?

Some guy named Peterson is suspected in the disappearance of his wife. Haven't we already heard this story?

The Year of the MEAC?

2007-11-13T12:10:00.000-05:00

Big Stein's Bog Poll is up; my votes are below. As I wrote on Saturday, Towson jumps into the poll with an impressive performance against Loyola, knocking the 'Hounds clean out of my Top 10. Richmond's brief, gallant, appearance last week was probably its last (losing to Norfolk State will do that to you). Hampton dispatches Tulsa and puches Maryland to the brink. VCU will have to prove itself worthy of #2 with three games this weekend in a tournament in Puerto Rico.

My biggest disparity with the voters is their inclusion of Old Dominion and American over Hampton and UMBC. I thought Old Dominion lost too much to graduation to get this much preseason recognition and American has shown nothing (but will have a chance to do so tonight at Loyola). Could be a big year for the MEAC, with Hampton looking strong, Morgan State coming on and Norfolk State beating Richmond.

1. Georgetown
As an exercise in building team unity, John Thompson has Hoyas sew their own Final Four banner. Jessie Sapp has a killer cross stitch and can really (wait for it … ) thread the needle.
2. VCU
Rams win opener against UMES, which actually stands for United Methodist Elementary School, but those kids ball like middle schoolers, yo.
3. Virginia
UVA beats UVM, avoiding prolonged exposure to harmful UVB rays that can have a negative affect on your RPI.
4. Maryland
Bad weekend for birds of prey facing University of Maryland teams.
5. George Mason
Will Thomas goes for 16 and 17 against Vermont, delighting those of us who gambled on him with a second round CAA Fantasy League draft pick.
6. GW
Virginia Tech transfer Wynton Witherspoon is mistakenly listed as Wynton Witherpoon on ESPN.com. Do not Google this.
7. Hampton
Go ahead, make all your cute little Pirate jokes, but it’s Hampton that’ll be having the last laugh, mateys.
8. Towson
Pat Kennedy processed more transfer requests in the offseason than Lieutenant Jonathan Kendrick, Rifle Company Windward, Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
9. Virginia Tech
Hokies defeat Elon, a team known as the Fightin’ Christians until 1999. Apparently university administrators found this punctuation to be offensive and changed the nickname to Phoenix.
10. UMBC
Retrievers excel at running down long rebounds. Unfortunately they drop them at the feet of their opponents and bark at them until they shoot again.

Bad to worse to worser

2007-11-12T11:48:00.000-05:00

Monday Morning Quick Quiz
What's worse than watching your favorite football team embarrass itself on Monday Night Football?

Paying money to see it live.

That's right, yesterday was the annual pilgrimage to M&T Bank Stadium for the Fitzgerald men to bond over the thrilling atmosphere of Ravens' football. While I am unwilling to commit the time, money or emotion to become a season-ticket holder, I do enjoy taking the boys to see at least one game each year. We started this tradition two years ago, watching a relatively easy win over the Texans in an unremarkable season and continued it last year at a thrilling comeback over the Chargers to send the home team to 4-0. Those were good days.

Before the 2007 season began, I took a look at the home slate, compared it to the soccer, swimming and family outing schedules and quickly deduced that Cincinnati would be the game. Day game, division rival, reasonably good chance of winning, all the important criteria. So I called my local ticket broker, took some equity out of the house, and secured three lower level seats.

Even better, the boys had a few friends going the game, and we were invited to tailgate just a short walk from the stadium. Really, the setting could not have been better. Crisp, sunny day, pulled pork sandwiches, delightful seleciton of microbrews, free parking and plenty of room to toss the ball with the kids.

And then the game started. For the second straight week, Steve McNair displayed a Hall of Fame level of ineptitude. He had some help in the form of dropped passes, but he still gets the lion's share of the blame as far as I can see. If you chart the balls he throws, there is a wedge of emptiness emanating from McNair at its point that reaches the sideline about 12 yards downfield. Swing pass, quick slant, five-yard out, six-yard curl, flanker screen, that's about it. Nothing over the middle, nothing down the field, unless you count balls thrown five yards over the head of the trainers on the sideline.

And his physical erosion is having a karmic effect on the team as well. His two fumbles (one just slipped out of his hand) were bad plays, but he made a decent throw to Todd Heap in the end zone that got tipped for an interception. And when the kick return team let a short kick bounce at the 15, naturally the Bengals recovered.

The defense played like heroes, keeping the Bengals out of the end zone all day. Ed Reed absolutely destroyed Rudy Johnson on a key third down play at the goal line when the score was still close. Carson Palmer had a pretty good day at the Ravens' expense, but considering that both starting cornerbacks were out and a third got hurt during the game, it could have been a lot worse.

My eight year old summed it up with about five minutes left. "Can we please just go? I can't take any more of this fumble tragedy!"

Rising Junior

2007-11-10T21:53:00.000-05:00

The Doc and I took the boys to see a local rivalry game featuring Loyola at Towson last night. If I had paid for the tickets, I figured I could deduct the cost because these are Bog Poll eligible teams, but I should still be able to claim the mileage, no?

In the season opener for both teams, Loyola came in as the favorite. The Greyhounds were 18-13 last year and returned four starters, including All-MAAC guard Gerald Brown, who was the eighth leading scorer in the nation last season at 22.2 ppg. Brown came out wearing green socks pulled up to his knees, a great look if you are playing sweeper for Limerick F.C., but I don't see this trend catching on.

Brown transferred to Loyola from Providence and was joined in the starting lineup by Hassan Fofana, a 6-10 transfer from Maryland, and Omari Isreal, a 6-8 transfer from Notre Dame. With so many transfers in his lineup, it's no wonder that Loyola coach Jimmy Patsos was recently praised by Al Gore for his environmentally savvy commitment to recycling.

All the talk about Towson, on the other hand, centered around the question, "What will they do without Gary Neal?" Neal was the fifth leading scorer in the nation last year and is currently playing pro ball in Turkey where he is known as the "American Hedo Turkoglu." Towson coach Pat Kennedy has also gone green in his recruiting, bringing in 6-8 Junior Hairston from College of Charleston, and junior college players Vernon Carr and Tony Durant (who is not making nearly as much money as his little brother, Kevin).

With campuses only four miles apart, there was plenty of spirit from both sides. Several hundred Loyola students turned out in bright green T-shirts and did their best to go Cameron Crazy. Towson countered with its umpteen-time national champion dance team, who not only performed two numbers but also patrolled the lobby, soliciting donations in exchange for 8X10 glossy team photos. Advantage: Towson.

Brown took only ten seconds to jack up a three as the game got underway. He missed but was fouled and made two of three. Towson broke Loyola's fullcourt press easily but Fofana swatted the Tiger's shot and the Greyhounds appeared to be in control. Except that they didn't score a field goal for nearly nine minutes. Kind of reminded me of the Ravens. And the Wizards. And the Orioles. Maybe I should move to Boston.

Not that Towson was blowing it wide open. Most of the Tigers' points came off turnovers, breaking the Loyola press, or on offensive rebounds, but they clearly missed Neal in the halfcourt offense and could only build the lead to 11. By halftime, Loyola had closed to within 2, 31-29.

Loyola took another offensive hiatus to start the second period, and the Tigers stretched the lead to nine as Hairston began to assert himself on offense and defense. Patsos stomped, fumed and sweat through his suit like the Gary Williams protege that he is, and Loyola clawed back and took the lead. And then Hairston really took over. In a five-minute span, he found two teammates for open three-pointers, altered a Loyola layup attempt, grabbed three rebounds, one steal and tossed in two free throws. Towson 59, Loyola 49. The lead grew to 14 and then shrunk to four, but every time Towson needed a boost, Hairston stepped up. Final score 83-69. Final stat line for Hairston: 26 points on 10-15 shooting, 21 rebounds, three assists, three blocks, one steal. All together now: Gary Who?

For Loyola, Patsos has to hope this is a wakeup call. His team got outhustled all night. Brown finished 5-13 from the field but did lead his team with five assists and four steals. There were no bright spots for Fofana and Isreal, who combined for six points and eight rebounds. If the Greyhounds are going to compete in the MAAC, they'd better figure out how to beat a 1-3-1 zone.

For the Tigers, the wakeup call goes out to the CAA. Nothing will come easy for visitors to the Towson Center. At 6-8, 205, Hairston is quick in the paint with a nice array of lefty moves. Durant is a solid compliment inside and guards C.C. Williams, Rocky Coleman and Rodney Spruill are quick enough to force more bad decisions than peer pressure. Towson's conference rivals should also note that the Tigers were without Carr and forward Tommy Breaux, who is Hairston minus the offensive skills.

Bottom line for the Bog Poll? Towson in, Loyola out.

Wizards Wobble, Fall Down

2007-11-09T14:00:00.000-05:00

At first glance, the Wizards' 87-85 loss to the Net last night doesn't look so bad. On the road, against one of the top teams in the conference, Washington had a chance to win, but Gilbert Arenas failed to shake his defender for a game-winning shot. Statistically, the game could not have been much closer, as neither team shot well, but some notable points could prove worrisome for Wizards' fans as the season progresses.

First, the Wiz are now 0-4, and two of the losses have come in close games. Second, Agent Zero's recovery from knee surgery is obviously not complete. He is an astonishing 3-24 from three- point range and has gotten to the free throw line only 40 times in four games.

Third, the Wizards' bench should also be called Agent Zero for what it contributes. Darius Songaila threw his body around and grabbed a few rebounds last night, but he doesn't scare you on offense. Nor does Roger Mason, who jacks a couple threes to little effect. Andray Blatche still looks young and tentative on the floor while Antonio Daniels seems to have aged more than enough to compensate for him. Looking at last night's box score, the Nets bench gave them 28 points and 17 rebounds in 93 minutes while the Wizards got 17 and 13 in 70.

Defensively, the Wizards are giving up four fewer points per game than last year, but their team scoring average is down 14 points. In the fourth quarter last night, the Nets scored 30, mostly from Richard Jefferson and Vince Carter, but with several nice plays by (beating a dead horse here) NJ reserves Bostjan Nachbar and Antoine Wright.

So, what's the good news? Umm, let's see ... Caron Butler was 5-5 from the line, so he seems to be regaining his form there. Gilbert had his best three-point shooting night of the season (Yes, he was 2-7, but I'm trying here). Songaila's six rebounds were a season high. Solicitation charges were dropped against Blatche this week. Finally, the Wiz get Denver at home tonight. Expect a cautiously enthusiastic crowd, but it could get ugly if Washington doesn't come out on top.

Life ... less

2007-11-08T16:16:00.000-05:00

The last two Wednesday nights, the remote has settled on NBC for nearly two full episodes of "Life." Very pretentious title, don't you think? But I like the cereal and the board game (although I never saw the Eddie Murphy/Martin Lawrence movie) so I thought I would take a look at this show.

At first I thought it was a cop show, featuring Damian Lewis as the classic "Tough Guy with Issues" and his partner, Sarah Shahi, as "Hot Babe in Leather Coat." And this formula has worked for me from NYPD Blue all the way to Law and Order: Criminal Intent. But from the outset, Life's premise was stretched way too thin by making Lewis a cop restored to the force after serving time in prison for a crime he didn't commit. Wouldn't it be more realistic for him to get a huge cash settlement and then a show on Court TV? I mean, isn't he just a little worried that his colleagues don't really trust him?

Apparently not, so he spends lots of time trying to solve the bank job he went down for, ending each episode by drawing lines on the big flow chart in his basement that documents his investigation. Which has come to include his partner, whose father was on the SWAT team during the robbery. She is also a recovering alcoholic and speaks fluent Farsi, which really came in handy on last night's show, where our heroic duo saved a Persian man who was laundering drug money through an offshore account held by his lover, a single mother whose son kidnapped him and killed two of his friends and one off his own accomplices before being taken out by a sniper. The kidnappers almost got away, but the cops cracked the case by having the man's sister play a video game on his computer because she was the only one young enough to have the thumb dexterity to get to the tenth level and open the encrypted account records.

And every now and then Adam Arkin wandered onscreen with a buxom redhead who took him to a solar enegy farm, where they ran out of gas (oh the irony). This subplot confused me so much I thought I had accidently changed the channel, which is of course exactly what I should have done.

Obviously, I joined this show late, and either I keep missing the two-minute "Previously on Life" summaries that are de rigeur on serial dramas, or Life is pushing the envelope to daring extremes by not having them, but I don't think any amount of backfill would catch me up enough to my satisfaction.

I am all for television that makes you think, and quirky characters, but this is plot as jigsaw puzzle, one of those ridiculous thousand-piece numbers that pictures two polar bears on an iceberg, so that once you've put the eyes and noses together, you've got 992 pieces of white cardboard that fall into place only by happenstance.

"Yes," I hear the fans saying. "It's complicated. Just like life. Get it?"

I do get it. But nobody's life is that complicated. Parts of this show are very compelling. It's well shot, and the two leads are pretty good, although both are too pretty to be real police officers. But I think Adam Arkin seals it for me. After two episodes, I have no idea who he is or what he is doing on the show.

Looks like it's NBA doubleheaders on TNT for Wednesdays in the foreseeable future.

Inaugural Poll

2007-11-07T11:23:00.000-05:00

So the TV writers are on strike, and I support them because I like to write and I have strong Socialist leanings and anything that stops production of "Desperate Housewives" and makes the hiatus of "Back to You" a permanent situation has to be a good thing. Nevertheless, I will cross the digital picket line and post to my blog for the second time in two days which is something of a record around here, of late.

I ended yesterday's Ravens tirade with a throwaway line about college basketball, and, wouldn't you know it, today marks the appearance of the first Big Stein DC-MD-VA college basketball poll. As I am sure you will recall, this poll ranks the top 11 Division I men's college basketball programs in Washington, Maryland and Virginia, according to the votes of a group selected using very low admissions standards. Anyone can tell you who the top teams are nationally (UNC, Memphis, UCLA, Georgetown, etc), but not many people take the time to assess the impact of Morgan State's transfer class and how Richmond's slowdown offense makes the Spiders a tough out on the road.

Anyway, here are my votes for Week 1:

1. Georgetown
Roy Hibbert staying at Georgetown so he can graduate and go to medical school like his idol and role model, Dr. Julius Hibbert.
2. VCU
Nontraditional college basketball powers will henceforth be known as mid-Maynors.
3. Virginia
Sean Singletary hopes to be the first player since Oscar Robertson to average a triple-doubletary.
4. Maryland
In honor of the start of college basketball season, College Park Mattress Discounters store holds a “Burn One, Get One Free” sale.
5. George Mason
Flights from Dulles to San Antonio are already sold out for the Final Four weekend.
6. GW
If the Firebirds took them to overtime, just imagine how they are going to struggle against the Corvettes and the Camaros.
7. Loyola
Jimmy Patsos counting on the emergence of Hassan Fofana, fana bobana, banana fana, fofana, fee, fi, momana, Fofana!
8. Hampton
Kevin Nickelberry is so confident of his team’s prospects he has already requested film exchange with North Carolina and UCLA for his first round NCAA game.
9. Richmond
Spiders celebrate season-opening win over Maine, lose to Memphis in the meantime.
10. Virginia Tech
Biggest question of the season is whether Coleman Collins will miss a dunk in the alumni game.

Ravens Rot

2007-11-06T14:19:00.000-05:00

I have never seen a team that I was cheering for play a worse football game than the Ravens played last night. The Redskins' 38-9 loss to the Raiders in the Super Bowl has now officially been displaced. Considering that Pittsburgh was up 35-0 in the first half, this was beyond futility. The Ravens were so bad that Notre Dame is trying to get them on their schedule in Navy's slot.

The whole team was awful, but Steve McNair deserves special attention for his horrendous performance. As bad as his stats were (13-22, 63 yards, 0 TDs, 1 INT, 2 fumbles), they don't tell the whole horrific story. He threw more balls in the dirt than a pitcher with two strikes on Barry Bonds. The one ball I remember him throwing downfield was a beautiful spiral into the chest of Pittsburgh defender James Harrison. Harrison also recovered McNair's fumble in the Raven's opening drive. Maybe Baltimore should trade for Harrison and convert him to wideout since he and McNair seem to have pretty effective chemistry. McNair was sacked six times, so obviously his protection was pretty bad, but he held the ball too long, threw way too many short passes, and got called for intentional grounding. He should have gotten called twice, but the officials must have been embarrassed for him. At one point, he completed passes on first and second down and the Ravens still faced third and two. When Brian Billick finally went to Kyle Boller, Boller's first pass sailed 10 yards past his intended receiver, who apparently forgot that pass plays over 15 yards were still in the gameplan.

So, it seems pretty clear that it's time to close the book on the McNair era in Baltimore. Yes, he was once a great QB, and last year, he was exactly what the Ravens needed. But he had three weeks of rest to heal and prepare for last night's game, and yet halfway through the first half he didn't look a deer in the headlights so much as a deer tied to the hood. Keeping him behind such a young offensive line is not just poor judgment, it borders on criminal negligence. Just ask Redskins fans how quicky Marc Brunell deteriorated.

And yet, Kyle Boller is not the answer either, which makes Boller's contract extension a few weeks ago completely mystifying. Maybe Baltimore is planning on putting together another defense like they had last year or during the Super Bowl season. That's really the only way this "plan" makes any sense.

Now, I am an optimist; I had the Ravens winning it all halfway through last season and stuck to that right up to their loss to the Colts in the playoffs. So let's put on the seriously purple-tinted shades for a minute. Let's say you win your next two at home against Cincinnati and Cleveland and manage to knock off San Diego (which really could happen unless they get smart and fire Norv Turner first). Forget about New England and Indianapolis, but then you are left with Miami, who stinks worse than the jack-o-lanterns still sitting on my front stoop, Seattle, who really never recovered from losing the Super Bowl, and finish with Pittsburgh, and don't tell me the Ravens won't be fired up for that one! See how easy this is? Now, you're 10-6 and marching into the playoffs when Peyton Manning and Tom Brady suffer a horrible accident while filming a Miller Lite All-Stars reunion commercial and suddenly it's all there for the taking.

Do I believe this will happen? Not a chance. I'm just waiting for college basketball to start.

Pigskin Perambulations

2007-10-02T10:45:00.000-04:00

So how many times would the Giants have sacked Donovan McNabb if he were a white quarterback?

I don't know who was calling the Cardinals-Steelers game, but Seinfeld fans everywhere had to cringe a little when the announcer called Arizona coach Ken Whisenhunt "the Master of his Domain."

Wow, if Tom Brady and Randy Moss were in elementary school together, all the other kids would complain that they never got the ball until finally the principal would declare a moratorium on all competitive sports at recess.

Anyway, almost a month ago, after the opening weekend, the AFC North was declared a dogfight between the Ravens and the Bengals, with Baltimore getting the nod because they had lost a close game on the road, and, if they could just limit the turnovers, no one in the division could stop them. The Browns were the worst team ever seen in the NFL, Brady Quinn would be starting in a matter of hours, but not before Romeo Crennel was fired. And Pittsburgh? No, that 34-7 win over Cleveland had to be discounted (you know, because the Browns couldn't win on a Friday night in Texas).

So, taking a look at the standings today, we find the Steelers in first with a 3-1 record and the highest rated offense and defense (in terms of scoring) in the division. The Browns are in second at 2-2, courtesy of an easy win at home against Baltimore over the weekend. Cleveland's 2-2 looks a lot better than the Ravens' 2-2, though, as Baltimore's frustrating, endless quest for offensive consistency becomes more urgent with the faltering of the defense for at least one quarter every game. And who is in last? Why, it's the Bengals! Led by Carson, Chad and TJ, the Bengals are just a Lance away from being able to form their own boy band, which is good because if they don't get their act together soon, it will be "Bye Bye Bye."

Last year, somewhere around midseason, I declared that the Ravens would go to the Super Bowl, and probably win it. It was an optimistic, but defensible, prediction, shredded by a superb performance by Peyton Manning and the Colts in the playoffs. You will hear no such predictions from me this year. At the start of the season, you could argue that they might be as good as they were last year: they could withstand the loss of Adalius Thomas, Willis McGahee was an upgrade over Jamal Lewis, Steve McNair would be better in his second year in Brian Billick's system, they always seem to draft players who are ready to make an impact quickly.

Four weeks later, the Ravens have suffered more injuries than Jaime Sommers and can only hope they don't bleed out before they get to their bye week. Jonathan Ogden might as well have retired in the offseason, McNair looks so fragile he has a special bubble-wrap seat on the team plane, and five (five!) of the team's receivers and tight ends showed up as "probable" on the injury report for this weekend's game at San Francisco. On defense, they clearly miss Trevor Pryce (whom I saw at Cheeburger Cheeburger this weekend. He was eating with his family, so we left him alone. Anybody trying to have a meal with three young children really doesn't need any additional distractions. I'm guessing he went for the Famous Pounder). The much-maligned Samari Rolle could be back at corner this weekend, news that falls into the "not good, not bad, just different" category. Still, the memory of a swaggering 2006 defense that seemed as likely to score as many of the offenses it faced is fading faster than Wayne Newton's odds to win "Dancing with the Stars."

Can they win the next three and get to the bye 5-2? Sure! Can they lose them? Absolutely! Can they arrive at December in contention for the playoffs only to be stomped by the Patriots and Colts? Don't see why not!

So do I have a prediction for Ravens' fans? You betcha! In the words of Clubber Lang, "Pain!"

Movie Writes

2007-09-27T15:03:00.000-04:00

"No film whose closing credits list a 'senior inferno artist' is likely to lull us with its tranquil charms, and 'The Kingdom' is a thumper of a movie, full of furious souls."

"It is no mean feat to make a boring film about Jesse James, but Andrew Dominik has pulled it off in style."

The above lines are the opening salvos in movie reviews penned in this week's New Yorker by the film critic Anthony Lane. They are also excellent illustrations of why I enjoy a good movie review as much as any written form. The New Yorkers is a weekly that tends to pile up around my house, and, unlike my neighbor, I don't read every word before disposing of old issues, but I make sure to get to anything by Lane and his colleague David Denby (and I thumb through to make sure I don't miss any of the cartoons, of course).

It doesn't matter that I will likely never see either of the above films. I have read far more reviews than I could ever see movies. I will read reviews of movies I have no intention of seeing, and I will read several different reviews of the same movie if I stumble upon them.

One of my favorite pulp novelists, Stephen Hunter, is a Pulitzer Prize winning film critic for the Washington Post. I also enjoyed his regular radio appearances on the Tony Kornheiser Show, although I generally cannot stand televised movie critics. So it must be about the writing.

And before I go any further, I have to mention Joe Bob Briggs, the king of the the drive-in movie reviews. I certainly can't explain him, I can barely defend him, but I have read way too much of his work to not include him in this post.

I have heard people say that they don't like to read movie reviews because they give away too much information. I long ago gave up trying to avoid reviews that would spoil any secret endings, a strategy that will forever be known as The Crying Game Gambit. Even if you know what's coming, a good movie can still be entertaining. Most movies are pretty predictable anyway, so it's more about the execution than just the suspense (The Usual Suspects would be the first exception that springs to mind). And the studios put out so much press material, it's pretty hard to escape.

So, let's wind this up with a little movie review of my own. The other night, the Doc and I watched Disturbia, an updated retelling of Hitchcock's Rear Window, with a little Silence of the Lambs and some Sex, Lies and Videotape swirled in, an frivolous dash of John Hughes' Pretty in Pink maybe and a tiny taste of Blair Witch Project. Very suspenseful, lots of cameras being jerked around, plenty of claustrophobic and voyeuristic atmosphere. Shia LeBeouf plays a teenager who should hate his parents for naming him Kale, but he can't because they are so cool, and, anyway, his dad dies in a sudden, violent car crash very early on. There are many moments of sudden violence but none of them seem gratuitous and there is very little gore for a plot involving a supposed serial killer. The acting is great, the plot is a little predictable but still satisfactory. With all the shadowy scenes and convulsive camera work, this one would have been fun to see in the theater. It won't change your life, but it has to better than three straight nights of Dancing with the Stars (now there's a show that needs a serial killer).

Oh, and about The Kingdom, which is where we started today ... I saw Jamie Foxx on Letterman and The Daily Show this week, and there is no way the movie can be as good as those 15 minutes of television. Each appearance was full of completely different material, even when they were talking about the movie, and each was equally hilarious. He still uses some of the affectations he tossed out on In Living Color, but you know what, they are still funny. Bill Bob says, "Check him out."

Is it Myanmar or your Burma?

2007-09-26T11:36:00.000-04:00

I had a whole different topic in mind for today, and I may get to it later, but first I need to address an issue that has arisen in the media coverage of martial law and government crackdown on protests in a Southeast Asian nation of uncertain name and, for most of us anyway, even more uncertain location. Now, before you read any further, this is a very serious situation involving civil rights, religious persecution, and people willing to die for a cause, so, naturally, I am going to make some jokes about it.

This morning, washingtonpost.com reported on this story in Burma, said the name Burma in each of the first four paragraphs, and did not once mention Myanmar. NYTimes.com said it took place in Myanmar, and the only mention of Burma came in a statement from British Prime Minister Gordon Brown, who said that the U.N. should send an envoy there. USAToday.com went with Burma, except that a sidebar labeled "About Burma" said that Burma is also known as Myanmar and stuck with that label for the rest of the blurb.

Like most people under the age of, let's say 50, my previous knowledge of this geographic conundrum comes from one J. Peterman on "Seinfeld." "You most likely know it as Myanmar, but it will always be Burma to me." Man, this is giving me a bigger headache than the whole Turin/Torino debate at the last Winter Olympics.

I say we settle this thing once and for all, right now. Burma implies a connection to Burma Shave, a product that harkens back to 1950's era American nostalgia and optimism. Myanmar could be a generic brand Mallomar or, more likely, a file-sharing system your kids are using to illegally trade the latest Fergie and Plain White Tees singles. Sure it's popular now, but once the FCC and the corporate overlords catch on, it'll end up sharing a room with Webvan and Pets.com. Against my better judgment as a closet subversive, I think I'll go with Burma.

Okay, so it's Burma, now where is this place? My frame of reference for world geography will forever be the map from Risk ("the game of world domination), so is Burma anywhere near Yakutsk, or is more in the Kamchatka neighborhood? I know, I know, it's in Southeast Asia, which means Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia, etc., so at least we have a solid track record of military success should we need to intervene in this crisis.

What did we learn at Fitzfacts today? Personally, I learned that there is no such breed of dog as the Burmese Mountain Dog. It's a Bernese Mountain Dog and is native to Switzerland, which has had the same name, location, and geographic borders for nearly 200 years.

Tomorrow: My Favorite Movie Critics

Near Occasion of Cardinal Sin

2007-09-25T15:19:00.000-04:00

Okay, already a day late on the start to the week, so let's begin with a nice and easy warmup on the home team Baltimore Ravens. Nothing too strenuous, wouldn't want to pull anything.

Trailing Baltimore 20-6 in the third quarter, Arizona coach Ken Whisenhunt replaces second-year starter Matt Leinart with former NFL MVP Kurt Warner. Warner responds by leading his team to three scoring drives and a 23-23 tie with 3:43 to play in the game. Leinart uses his sideline time wisely as the cameras catch him fixing his hair just so in front of the cooling fans. Doesn't he know he's supposed to put on a baseball cap and headset and grab a clipboard?

Veteran coach and offensive genius Brian Billick counters Whisenhunt's move by inserting Kyle Boller into the game for the Ravens' first possession of the fourth quarter. Weren't expecting that, were you? Of course not. Only a master of gamesmanship and sports psychology could understand the logic of removing a QB who had completed 20-27 passes for one touchdown and no interceptions. But genius cannot be explained and often cannot be appreciated.

Boller quickly makes two bad throws and the Ravens' offense heads back to the bench after a three and out. His second effort starts out better with a couple long passes to get into field goal range, but consecutive sacks force the Ravens to punt. Finally, on Baltimore's last possession, the home team drives back into field goal range again (thanks in large part to an unnecessary roughness penalty on the Cardinals), and ever-steady Matt Stover boots the gamewinner home.

This might be a good time to point out that, for all his flaws, Steve McNair is supposed to be a great clutch player. He's the guy who led the final scoring drive against San Diego last season, to name one. Over and over, we hear how calm and poised he is. I can almost understand Billick's decision to give Boller a series or two to give McNair a rest and to show some appreciation for the job Boller did last week as the starter. But once the Cardinals rolled through the defense like Kramer at the dojo, you might want to reconsider.

The quarterback shuffles were fun and distracting, but the real story of this game and season is the Ravens' defense. For two straight weeks, we have seen fourth quarter collapses just when this unit should come up with a big sack or turnover to turn out the lights. Rex Ryan's rep as a defensive guru might start to ring as hollow as Billick's offensive field cred. Except that he's not exactly firing the same caliber weapon he was last season.

Some have pointed out the injury to Trevor Pryce, but the simple fact is that Baltimore misses Adalius Thomas more than most people seem willing to admit. Thomas was the best player on the team last year and while Ed Reed can make some great plays and Ray Lewis is the emotional leader, nobody on this defense has the opposing offensive coordinator really worried the way Thomas did last year.

On the bright side, the Ravens are winning the games they are supposed to win. Yamon Figurs jumped right in for BJ Sams with a touchdown return. But what looked like a break in the schedule suddenly seems more stressful than Baltimore fans might have expected. Road games at Cleveland and San Francisco will show whether the Ravens are ready to be contenders or just really good spoilers.

That's So Ravens

2007-09-17T22:06:00.000-04:00

For 30 minutes yesterday, the second Kyle Boller era sparkled brighter than the sunshine glinting off the waters of Baltimore's Inner Harbor. The halftime score (17-3) and Boller's line (17-24, 125 yards, 2 touchdowns, 0 sacks, 0 penalties, 0 interceptions) read as if Brian Billick had written them himself. The Ravens' defense had its foot on the throat of the Jets' offense with two sacks of New York's rookie quarterback and numerous plays in the offensive backfield.

But instead of crushing the visitors' windpipe in the third, Baltimore toyed with its prey, and the emotions of its fans. The conservative passing game sputtered, and the defense went from poundcake to pattycake. Still, a field goal at the start of the fourth built the lead to 20-3, normally more than enough cushion for football fans to rest comfortably. This is the perfect scenario for lining up your power back behind your fullback and your two tight ends and crushing the spirit of your opposition as the clock ticks away. Back in the 1980s, the Redskins called this the Riggo drill although John Riggins said he never liked it much. Probably because he spent a lot of Mondays in traction.

Except that the Ravens let Jamal Lewis go to the Browns in the offseason, and his replacement, Willis McGahee, waits for holes to open rather than lowering his shoulder and knocking the defense back for a few extra yards. Not that I'd rather have Lewis. McGahee rushed for 97 yards and showed his versatility catching a swing pass for Baltimore's second touchdown. But the injury to Jonathan Ogden and the resulting youth of the offensive line showed that this group is not quite ready to close out a game. So instead, the Jets scored 10 points on their first two possessions of the final period and had Ravens' fans holding their breath until Ray Lewis intercepted a Kellen Clemens pass in the end zone with about a minute to play.

I attended a game much like this one last season where the Ravens scored quickly and built a lead against the Bengals. The game should have been over midway through the third but some misplays and clock mismanagement and a sudden resurrection of Cincinnati's offense left fans grumbling as they filed out.

So, the more things change, the more they stay the same. Take the win, enjoy the solid, controlled performance by Boller, the timely defense, and hope that McGahee and the offensive line are more in sync as the season goes on. Forget about the Ravens being in the same class as the Patriots and the Colts for now, though. Fortunately, the schedule breaks nicely for a team that is still getting its act together. With any luck, the Ravens roll into the bye week with only two losses and get rested for a visit to Pittsburgh, a home rematch with Cincy and the San Diego, New England, and Indy troika of terror.

Me, I'm hoping we'll have a bona fide quarterback controversy by then.

Back to School, Back to Blog

2007-08-30T15:00:00.000-04:00

The door accordions shut, the school bus pulls away, and summer is over. Baseball, swim team, basketball camp, day camp, Camp Invention, two weeks at the beach - done. Sunscreen, snow balls, mini golf, lemonade stands, Orioles Dugout Club, Ravens training camp - over. Pack the new school supplies in the new backpacks, fill out the emergency medical contact and early dismissal forms, fix a couple lunches, and off they go. It's a long way from that first anxious day at the bus stop a few years ago, and middle school is still a year away, so, aside from a minor crisis involving a defective three-ring binder, Day One is a pretty smooth affair.

So, where does that leave FitzFacts? Well, certainly without any excuses. Step one is remembering the password that hasn't been used in almost three months. Okay, good. Now, what's big in the news? Presidential campaign? Way too early for me, but, naturally, I'm pulling for the Irish guy, Obama.

President Bush visited New Orleans on the second anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. Did he also stop by Trent Lott's house? You know, the one that Senator Lott was supposed to rebuild bigger and better? And where is Mike "Heckuva job, Brownie" Brown these days? Ah, here's the answer, buried in the "A" section of the Washington Post. A "disaster preparedness consultant?" (In my best Jon Stewart voice) So you preside over the agency that horribly mismanaged the worst natural disaster in American history and now you make money by what? Reciting everything that you did wrong? Hope that gig pays by the hour. (Alternate punchline: right up there with the Michael Jackson babysitting service and OJ Simpson, marriage counselor).

More politics. Idaho Senator Larry Craig wants everyone to know that, despite trying to hide his arrest for disorderly conduct in a Minneapolis airport restroom, he is not gay and further, has never been gay. And here I thought his gayness had been successfully treated and was in remission.

Okay, enough heavy world news. Let's turn to the lighthearted world of sports, where the Orioles have lost eight in a row. I flipped over to the game last night just as the Camden Yards crowd rose to its collective feet, cheering for Danys Baez to get the third strike on Tampa Bay's Delmon Young and end the game and the losing streak. Of course, Upton singled, Delmon Young walked on a 3-2 pitch, and the next batter singled to drive in the tying run. I didn't even watch the rest of the inning, let alone the game. This morning, for about the fifth day in a row, I tried to explain to my older son that the Orioles are looking ahead to next year and trying a lot of new players. Pretty tough argument to make when veterans like Baez, Miguel Tejada and Melvin Mora play a big part in blowing the game. Firedavetrembley.com has been purchased, but, as yet is not an active page.

Countdown to Ravens is almost under 10 days.

Friday Blogstrosity

2007-06-15T21:43:00.000-04:00

And away we go ...

NBA
Spurs win. Spurs win. Spurs win. Sorry for the lack of enthusiastic punctuation, but after this snoozer of a championship series, it might be time for the league to change its name. Nyquil Basketball Association? Nighty-night Bron-bron Association? Look, I love Tim Duncan's game, and Tony Parker made the Cavaliers look like fight extras in a Bruce Li flick, but the Spurs dominated this series so thoroughly, I expected them to get a quick drink and get back on the court to see who had next.

So the next question is, with four titles in nine years, are the Spurs a dynasty? First answer, who cares? Second answer, yes, they have won multiple titles over a period of time with only two constants, Duncan and Gregg Popovich. Third, and correct, answer, no. They are good, and I know I just said they crushed the Cavs like zinfandel at harvest time, but the term dynasty implies a mythic quality. Certainly the Celtics of Russell and Bird had, as did the lakers of Magic and Kareem, Shaq and Kobe, and the Bulls of Jordan and Pipper. But the Spurs of Duncan and Popovich? Not so much.

Before the season, all I read about Duncan was that injuries would likely limit him again. All I read about Manu Ginobili was that he had lost a step. . And all I read about Parker was what he was wearing on the red carpet next to Eva Longoria. Nowhere did I see an article about how a Spurs title would amke them a dynasty. Once the season started, the Spurs were an afterthought behind the emergence of Dallas and Phoenix, the Iverson trade to Denver, the Kobe soap opera, and the fascinating specimen that is Gilbert Arenas. In the playoffs, the Spurs fell behind Golden State's upset of Dallas and Steve Nash's blood.

The point is, no one was talking about San Antonio until the Finals. Even today, the front sports page of my local paper (The Baltimore Sun) carried a picture of James being defended by Michael Finley and Fabricio Oberto, not MVP Parker, not Duncan and Popovich, and not Bruce Bowen, whose defense on James was crucial to the Spurs win. A dynasty has to seize the headlines and grab the public's attention in a way the Spurs just haven't.

Nor am I ready to accept Popovich's ascendance into the august company of coaches with four titles: Auerbach, Jackson, Riley, Popovich? Not so fast, Poppy. I'd put him tied with Riley, but a long, long way from the other two. (Yes, I know Riley won titles with two different teams, but he loses points for appointing himself head coach at Miami once he realized just how good Dwyane Wade is). One mroe title, preferably next year, and I'll cease and desist my arguments against both Popovich and San Antonio.

In a final schadenfreudean nonsequitur, it delights me to think of all the Celtics fans banging their heads against the bar every time Duncan hoists a championship trophy aloft.

Baseball
If both the Orioles' decline and my son's team's improvement continue at the same rate, I think Baltimore might lose to a bunch of 10-year olds in the spring of 2009. And for all you Clemens/Yankees haters, here's little treat from Funny or Die. Link.

Golf
Lots of excitement about the U.S. Open this week, of course. Everyone seems very up in arms about Phil's wrist. I thought Phil got whacked Sunday night on the last episode of the Sopranos. But seriously, if you are looking for a golf article that is not about Tiger, Phil or Johnny Miller, check out Rick Maese's column on Jim Furyk in today's Sun. At first I hated Maese because he looks like he's about 15, but my annoyance has gradually been mitigated by his quality coverage of stories I don't see anywhere else. Worth looking for.

Doggy Bag

2007-06-13T11:48:00.000-04:00

Okay let's wrap up a few leftovers today. Put 'em in some foil, maybe in the shape of a swan if you like the fancy joints, and heat 'em up later for a tasty treat.

Belmont Stakes
I was wrong several different ways on this one. Yes, the attendance at the event was 46,870, down from 61,168 last year, and way below the 100,000+ when a horse like Smarty Jones has a shot at the Triple Crown. And, yes, the TV ratings dropped from a 3.6 to a 3.1 share, both lower than the first two games of the NBA Finals but more than double the NHL final. But it was a great race, not stunningly fast, but Rags to Riches battled Curlin down the stretch to become the first filly to win the race since 1905. I didn't see the race live, but ESPN has the replay, and it's worth a look. And that little throwaway question I posted about the rarity of three different horse winning the three legs of the Triple Crown? Well, it happened last year, Mr. Trivia, with Barbaro, Bernadini and Jazil, and this year was the third time it has happened in the last 10. So good call by me on that one.

Sopranos
Didn't watch the finale, don't watch the show except for the occasional sterilized episode on A&E, but from what I've heard and read, I think I would have liked the ending. I'm fine with ambiguity. I like when a movie starts in the middle of the action without spoonfeeding me the origins of the plot. And the same goes for endings. If you don't wrap up all the loose ends, that's okay. I don't mind trying to figure it out.

I recently watched the first season of The Wire on DVD and enjoyed it very much, so maybe I'll take the same approach with The Sopranos. And one of the most enjoyable moments of last weekend came when my son's baseball team recorded the last out of the game on Sunday at 8:23, and one of the coaches handed the scorebook to the manager, grabbed his bag, and sprinted across the field to the parking lot to make it home in time.

NBA Finals
Well, those pesky Cavaliers are getting closer, but seriously, 50 points in three quarters? Sorry, ABC, but I'll be over at TNT (or is it TBS?) for sitcom reruns until The Daily Show comes on. The good news for ABC executives is that a Spurs sweep dramatically lowers the chances that the ratings could plummet into Stanley Cup territory. And that NBA "In Harmony" promo has to be the most unwatchable waste of money on television since they gave Magic Johnson a talk show. Of course, it could easily be knocked out of first place in the category with the debut in two weeks of Shaq's Big Challenge.

Rescue Me
I'm back for more F/X TV tonight with the return of Rescue Me, which is often a bitterly hilarious and wrenchingly sad portrait of humanity, but occasionally falters into an hour of Denis Leary showing us what a wisecracking, lifesaving, hockey-playing uberstud he is (who also writes poetry and tolerates alternative lifestyles). Generally there's enough of the former to tolerate the latter.

Beisbol con Mucho Gusto

2007-06-12T21:18:00.001-04:00

You may recall that Friday I posted the question, can there ever be too much baseball? Apparently the answer is both yes and no. Yes, because by the time Saturday afternoon rolled around and we were nearly halfway through our four-day seven-game marathon, I audibled out of our plans to go see the Orioles, and instead, we recuperated and recharged at the pool. On the other hand, no, because the six games the boys played provided many, many highlights. Here are just a few:

1. An opposing second baseman, barely taller than his bat, cleanly fields a ground ball and makes a delighted throw to first. Never mind that the runner beats the throw, the fielder's smile at his proficency is unforgettable.

2. A boy finally gets his first base hit of the season with two outs in the bottom of the last inning of his second to last game and skips, nay, floats down to first base.

3. A courageous lad gets hit by pitches three times in two days, and then rocks a solid single through the infield.

4. A team gets its first league win of the season Friday night and finds the experience so pleasurable, it wins its next three in tournament play.

5. A last place team suddenly catches fire (after a noted blogger retires as third base coach) and goes undefeated over its last six games to capture the championship. Gatorade is dumped on coaches, pizza consumed in joy at a local establishment, and likely more than one first place trophy is pried from sleeping hands.

6. In the last inning of a championship game, after an eight run lead is cut to three and the pitcher knocked out by a hard grounder to the shin, a steely-eyed first baseman climbs atop the mound, calmly strikes out two, and induces a groundout for the gamewinner.

7. A batter's face is a portrait of furious determination as he outraces the opposing first baseman to the bag for an infield hit.

8. A modern day Enos "Country" Slaughter ignores the stop sign from the third base and barrels home, scoring from first on a single.

9. An umpire calls three straight games wearirng a red t-shirt from a bar on a Caribbean island that features the following quote from noted batsman Oscar Wilde, "Work is the ruination of the drinking class."

10. A baserunner on second nods enthusiastically when his coach yells, "Two outs, no hesitation." After he scores, he shakes his head just as emphatically when his mom asks him if he knows what hesitation means.

If a Blog Falls in the Forest ...

2007-06-08T14:37:00.000-04:00

During my last lengthy hiatus from FitzFacts, a good friend of mine described the "arc of the blog" in a way that I can't exactly recall, but it was a pretty fair assessment of the way my blogging endeavor had progressed: start with a flurry of posts in a variety of areas, settle into a groove of topics (college basketball, American Idol, FX tv shows), and then, as material begins to dry up, posting peters out until, suddenly, weeks and months have passed with nothing new.

This time, I stopped posting about college basketball right in the middle of the NCAA Tournament and abandoned AI when the contestants still numbered double digits. So what was my excuse? Well, I did go away on vacation for a week, broke a few bones in my hand (that put me in cast for three weeks), spring sprung here in Phoenix, Maryland, which led me to as much gardening and landscaping as my hand could tolerate. None of those are really good reasons. Then again, I don't have a good reason for getting back to it now.

So where are we?

NBA Finals
I watched parts of the second and third quarter of this game, and other than the stupefyingly low score, all I noticed was that San Antonio always seemed to have the ball and at least a five point lead. And every basket, whether it was Manu Ginobili converting an alley-oop from Tony Parker, Tim Duncan making a jumper from the free throw line, or Francisco Elston powering up from the block, every basket came with the Spurs' player squared up to the hoop as if he were making an instructional video. I noticed this morning that Parker and Robert Horry - who, by the way, is 11 years younger than Julio Franco - had more assists (13) than the entire Cleveland team (9). And it seems important that I mention the name Bruce Bowen before the man he held to 14 points (none in the first 13 minutes), LeBron James. If the Cavaliers don't show up a lot more quickly in Game 2, the NBA and ABC can kiss the ratings goodbye.

Hockey
The Anaheim Ducks won the Stanley Cup. The 2007-08 season starts in less than four months. That seems like more than enough hockey information.

Horse Racing
After thrilling races in the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness, the Triple Crown closes with a whimper this Saturday at the Belmont. With Street Sense out, Curlin can only hope to pull a Secretariat and crush the competition. Two questions: When was the last time three different horses won the legs of the Triple Crown ? And, will the Belmont draw a bigger rating than the 1.1 million households that watched the Stanley Cup final game?

Baseball
I won't be watching the Belmont because I'll be at the Baltimore Orioles' game with the boys on Saturday night. The Orioles won six in a row at the end of May and then lost their first five games in June before winning at Seattle Wednesday, so I have no idea what to expect, except that I'll spend too much of money on hot dogs, programs, peanuts, cotton candy, etc. This game will be one of seven baseball contests that I'll be attending in the next four days, but the other six will all feature young men in my immediate family. By Monday night, I just might be able to answer the question: is there ever enough baseball?

Paris Hilton
And let's end this post with a slightly different spectator sport. The Baltimore Sun wrote the following subheadline in this morning's paper: "Hilton's image may be further hurt by early release from jail." I don't know who wrote that copy, but it seems to me that Paris Hilton thrives on publicity, so the only publicity that would be bad for her image would be none at all. Maybe if she murdered her ex-spouse and a friend, or turned out to be connected to the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Or dogfighting. Unless it was those annoying little chihuahuas. Okay, I think I should stop typing right now.

Idolatry

2007-03-28T16:11:00.000-04:00

Took a little blog break, but let's go ahead and pick up right where we left off, with some American Idol.

First of all, Gwen Stefani should be a huge step up from Lulu and Peter Noone (it took me a week, but I did learn his name). I might actually pay attention to her performance tonight although most of her advice to the contestants consisted of some variation on, "This is a good song, you idiot. Just sing the notes."

So, on Gwen Stefani night, singers get to choose Gwen Stefani songs, of songs Gwen Stefani likes, or songs she might have heard in the elevator, the grocery store, or her parents' car, which is why the selections ranged from Donna Summer to The Cure to Cyndi Lauper to The Police. And, in what could be a AI first for me, I had heard all of them before.

LaKisha
LaKisha chooses to sing a Donna Summer tune. Wow, I'm shocked! And I was so sure she would try Eddie Murphy's rendition of Roxanne from 48 Hours. Ah, Last Dance. You always knew it was going to be the last song of the junior high dance, so you worked all night just for the chance to cop a feel during the slow part at the beginning of the song. In a similar vein, LaKisha's performance has its thrilling moments, but I didn't find myself reliving them later.

Chris S.
First his attempt at humor falls flat and then his song, Every Little Thing She Does is Magic, is even worse. He is less rhythmic than Barney Clark's original heart and surprisingly nasal. I liked him at the start, but his dwindling confidence is giving off a strong Rex Grossman vibe.

Gina
In a inspired bit of choreography, Gina stands at the microphone and sings, I'll Stand By You, a great rocker chick power ballad. If they remade Say Anything with a gender-reversal twist, this is the song the female version of John Cusack would blast from the boombox underneath his ex's window.

Sanjaya
He is on faya! He will not retaya! Bet against him and he will make you a laya!

Haley
Way, way too much clothing for Haley this week. True Colours was one of her better songs, but really, no one's listening.

Phil
He has always looked and sounded a little creepy to me, so his choice of the stalker classic Every Breath You Take ratcheted that up another notch. But he sang it well, and I think he has gathered some momentum.

Melinda
And it's Donna Summertime again. Heaven Knows done well, but like well done meat, Melinda's performances are, safe, predictable and boring.

Blake
Taking Gwen's advice, Blake shelves the beatbox on Lovesong. Even more surprising, he manages a pretty competent cover of The Cure without any eyeliner whatsoever.

Jordin
Hey Baby is the best Gwen Stefani song of the night, but considering the competition, that's like being the best of the Soviet republics.

Chris R.
Bad times continue for Idol contestants named Chris. When I got a crewcut in college, my friends remarked that the proofs for my yearbook photo looked like a progression of the Wolfman morphing from man into beast. Chris appears to be entering the later stages of that transformation; by tonight, he will be howling his rage at the moon.

Prediction
A doubleshot of Chris in the bottom two and the Wolfman takes a silver bullet to the heart.

A lulu of an Idol

2007-03-21T16:18:00.001-04:00

Ahh, yes another two hours of American Idol, somehow made almost tolerable by the presence of Lulu as this week's guest instructor for British Invasion Week. Also some producer who is even more obscure than Lulu helped the guys. Don't know Lulu? Here she is in "To Sir With Love" with Sidney Poitier. I am a big fan of his, but do you think Sir Sidney ever got tired of coming to the rescue of clueless white folks in his movies? If he did, it never showed. And now, we move from the supremely to marginally gifted.

Haley
Last week, Haley wore a tiny little dress. This week, she wore hot pants and a backless top. What did she sing? It really doesn't matter. If this were Miss America, she would do great in the evening gown and swimsuit but fall short in the talent competition.

Blake
The contestant responsible for my kids' increased saliva output sang The Zombies' "Time of the Season." Is this song the first recorded use of the phrase, "Who's your Daddy?" Suddenly, I hate The Zombies.

Chris R.
Sang "Don't Let the Sun Catch You Crying." And don't let the door hit you on your way out, please, either. Who has a larger head, Chris or Melinda? With that crew cut, he looks like one of the stick figures appearing in those antidrug ads.

Stephanie
Pursued a shaky strategy by taking on Melinda and LaKisha with "You Don't Have to Say You Love Me." Lulu said she reminded her of Beyonce, which is nice, but I think she is going to get beyounced this week.

LaKisha
Sang "Diamonds are Forever." Fine, boring, but fine. She is so good, they should just give her a bye into the finals, sort of like the way they used to seed the professional tennis and bowling tournaments (FitzFact!).

Gina
Chose the right band with the Stones, but the wrong song with the morbid "Paint it Black." Too much sitar and dangerously similar to Sundance's fatal pick of "Jeremy." If she had any guts, she would've laid it on the line with "Let's Spend the Night Together." Still, America likes to rock, or at least we like to think we do, so she is safe tonight.

Jordin
Another Shirley Bassey song, "I (Who Have Nothing)." Did you know Shirley Bassey is Welsh? Here is a link to the Wikipedia page listing other famous Welsh female singers. Other than Bonnie Tyler and Charlotte Church, let me know if you recognize any of these names.

Sanjaya
The great thing about The Kinks' "You Really Got Me" is that you don't have to be able to sing a single note to get through it. Having his sister continue to wear lowcut tops in the obligatory family shot will only add to the irresistible force that is the Sanjaya voting bloc.

Phil
Was "Tobacco Road" his shoutout to the North Carolina Tarheels, who take on USC this week in the NCAA Tournament? In his nonsinging moments on camera, he seem to realize that he is teetering on the edge. If he stays a few more weeks, I am really looking forward to a Sally Fields, "You like me! You really like me!" outburst.

Chris S.
Another Zombies tune, "She's Not There." Perfect choice for him. Now comes the news that Chris attended Bob Jones University, but dropped out after seven semesters. Hmmm ...

Melinda
Sang "As Long As He Needs Me," which is British because it's from the Broadway musical "Oliver," which is based on the Charles Dickens novel Oliver Twist. Sort of like not eating french fries to protest France's position on the Iraq war.

So, Stephanie, Phil and Sanjaya in the bottom three and Stephanie singing as the credits roll.

Abundance of The Riches?

2007-03-20T14:44:00.000-04:00

So, I'm watching TV last night when suddenly onscreen, to the shock of all those around her, a woman's prosthetic limb falls off and hits the ground. No, it wasn't Heather Mills on Dancing With the Stars. I wouldn't watch Dancing With the Stars if Pacman Jones made it rain in my family room. If I want to hate myself for watching amateurs of middling artistic talent prostrate themselves, I'll watch American Idol (tonight at 8:00 Eastern on FOX). No, this was a show called The Riches on the F/X Network, starring Minnie Driver and yet another rakish Brit, Eddie Izzard, as the parents in a family of "travelers" trying to go straight (sort of) in upper middle class America.

Oh, yes, this is modern television descended directly from Leave it to Beaver and Father Knows Best. Driver, forgettable in every role she's had since Good Will Hunting, plays the fiercely devoted, heroin-addicted mother who violates her parole at least three times every episode. Izzard is her Prince Deceptively Charming, a raffish rogue who is also remarkably accurate with a pistol and a three wood (oddly, in this show, golf clubs are actually used to smash golf balls, not crania). A pair of street-smart teens and a cross-dressing little boy round out the cozy nuclear family, and it's one laugh after another for these wacky misfits.

The premise is set in motion when the family refuses to acknowledge the authority of the violent but not quite smart enough leader of the larger traveler clan, who has arranged a marriage for their daughter. After a sequence of absurd coincidences, they find themselves in a gated community McMansion recently purchased by a recently deceased couple who were unknown to their new community and apparently completely disconnected from the rest of the world ... or so it seems at first.

We're supposed to like this family because they really care about one another, exemplified by their greatest fear: that the parents will end up in jail and the kids in foster homes (I know that's the one that keeps the Doc and me up nights). The bad guys are people like the uptight, feckless lawyers and the perky, blonde head of the homeowners association (she has the fake arm). Like other F/X dramas (Rescue Me, The Shield), The Riches tries to refract societal mores in order to convince us that what we perceive as extremely unusual circumstances happen all the time to people just like us or someone we know.

Pretty preposterous, but probably no more so than police procedurals that wrap up impossible cases every hour. Besides, what were my other options? NBC showed The Black Donnellys. I watched the first five minutes of this "Irish brothers in the New York underworld" saga; we open in a bar, at the wake of the patriarch, and a fight breaks out. Did I mention the skirling bagpipe soundtrack? And they say The Sopranos demeans Italian-Americans with unflattering stereotypes.

CBS had CSI:Miami, but I vowed a few years ago to live a CSI-free life. What About Brian was on ABC, but didn't Bill Murray and Richard Dreyfuss mine all the creative energy out of this title in What About Bob back in the 1990's? For suspense, I suppose I could've tuned in Kansas State-DePaul in the NIT, just to see if K-State coach Bob Huggins would have a heart attack, but I'll get enough basketball this weekend. The free movie channels had An American in Paris, which I might watch but not admit it, and Hero (with Dustin Hoffman, not Jet Li).

So, until Studio 60 returns, I think I am stuck with The Riches on Monday nights. Or, horror of horrors, I could read a book.

Bracketeering

2007-03-19T14:32:00.000-04:00

So, how's your bracket working out? I am in about five or six pools and loitering around the top quartile of the standings in all of them. I lost Texas in the Final Four and of course GW in the Elite Eight, so I have no shot to win, but respectability certainly hangs within my reach. However, the only standings that really matter are those that are kept within my own home. The Doc wisely declines to participate, but after Round One, my youngest son was dominating the house with a 29-3 record. And it's not like he just picked the favorites. He had Winthrop and VCU, and his three losses were in the 8-9 games, which are always the toughest game to pick. He's going to need that big lead down the stretch though, as he had Wisconsin and Washington State in the Final Four.

My hopes of continuing my hoops-watching marathon on Friday were dashed by an early school closing due to some winter weather in the morning. I convinced the boys to watch for awhile, but then they insisted on doing silly things like eating dinner and asking for help with their homework, which can really cut into your screen time. I'm hoping they will get their priorities straightened out as they mature. Just like I have.

A few observations from the weekend, starting locally. GW fans should be disappointed in the way their team played against Vanderbilt, but not in their season. The Colonials lost four starters from arguably the best team in school history and still got back to the NCAA Tournament. Maryland fans should not be disappointed in their team's performance at all. I thought the offensive foul on Strawberry at the end of the game was a bad call and I don't know why Mike Jones was on the bench for such a long stretch during the second half when he is the best shooter on a team that struggles to score. I am sure Gary Williams has a very good answer to that question, and I would love to hear it. The Terps return a solid nucleus and should be in contention for the ACC title again next year.

Georgetown looks very strong to me, although I did not see much of UNC or Kansas. The Hoyas' defense is very quick when Roy Hibbert is not in the game, but it is a tsunami of shotblockers when he is. And Patrick Ewing, Jr., played like a guy who is capable of much more than four points per game. Having said that, Vanderbilt will be a real test for them this weekend, and it won't get any easier against Carolina, who might be able to beat them down the floor in transition with their superspeedy point guard Ty Lawson.

As far as the other "locals" that I've been watching all year, it was great fun to watch VCU knock off Duke and I was sorry to see them go against Pitt. The Rams' coach, Anthony Grant, is the ultimate antithesis of Gary Williams, the way he calmly stalks the sideline and never breaks a sweat, but at the same time, he has a look on his face that makes me think I'd better try to do what he tells me. Coming from Florida where he was an assistant to Billy Donovan, Grant is not going to be at VCU much longer (sorry, Norwood).

And, speaking of Duke, I keep hearing how much better the Blue Devils are going to be next year, but I am not ready to buy into that just yet. Not that I think they'll miss the two quality minutes played by lone senior Joe Pagliuca this year (that's two minutes total, not per game), but I don't see much benefit to another year of experience for McRoberts, Paulus, Nelson, et. al., all of whom have gotten as far as they can go in the college game with their physical talents. Look, lots of very good basketball schools miss the NCAA Tournament now and then. Syracuse and UConn this year and Maryland for two year before this one. But it's going to be culture shock for some face-painters next March when Cameron Indoor hosts an NIT game. ("What do you mean I can't pick the Devils in my bracket? Where's Dickie V, I want to file a complaint?"). If memory serves, Duke doesn't hang NCAA banners from the rafters in Cameron, only Final Four banners. Where do they put NIT banners- a broom closet? What if they win the NIT Championship?

Duke winning an NIT Championship. That seems like a nice thought on which to end.

March Madness Marathon

2007-03-16T10:30:00.001-04:00

I had a mission yesterday, and I thought I was ready to go the distance. I sat down on the couch and clicked on CBS a few minutes after noon, just in time to hear Seth Davis make one more eminently forgettable comment that would have no impact on any of the 16 games being played that day. I knew the games would go until some time after midnight, but I thought I was in good shape to make it to the finish.

The marathon started fast with a very enjoyable game between Maryland and Davidson (see below). Just enough excitement to get the blood pumping, but as the Terps took control in the second half, I felt I was establishing a nice rhythm that would serve me well into the evening. As the first of many, many, CBS promotions for The Masters flashed onto the screen, I drank it in like it was pure oxygen. The second feature game of Georgetown-Belmont kept the pace, with the lower seed getting out fast to an 11-4 lead before the Hoyas awakened, first annoyed, then angered. By the time the kids made it home from school, this one was also in the books, and it was time to get out of the house because the GW-Vanderbilt game was not being shown by the local Baltimore affiliate.

So I tore my sons away from their homework, and we set out for a local fine dining establishment with four televisions, each of them wider than Roy Hibbert's wingspan. We missed the tipoff, and GW trailed 13-5 by the time we sat down. Sometimes, it's fun to watch games on a big screen. This was not one of those times. Vanderbilt crushed the Colonials in just about every way you can imagine. When it was 45-20 at the half, I said to myself, "Well, at least it's not as bad as Stanford," who had trailed Louisville by more than 30 earlier in the day. Then Vandy opened the second half with a 13-4 run.

The reason no one should ever complain about winning ugly is because losing ugly is so much worse. I've actually seen GW play worse, including a 103-73 loss at Duke in 1994 and a 54-34 loss to Temple in the Atlantic 10 semifinals. The Colonials led that one 24-16 at the half and didn't score a point for 15 minutes. Fortunately, there are plenty of wonderful wins to go with the woeful losses, and in time, this team will be remembered for winning the school's second Atlantic 10 Championship and a third consecutive trip to the NCAA Tournament.

The ride home was like that charter flight back from an all-inclusive trip to Cancun. On the flight to Mexico, there are complimentary margaritas and hot towels from cheery flight attendants, but the return trip is one long, sunburnt hangover. I was a little queasy at the thought of watching more games, but I tried to chalk it up to the bleu cheese dressing that came with the wings at the restaurant. Luckily for me, VCU provided the perfect remedy. The Rams pressed, trapped and battered Duke until the Blue Devils were left looking for a Laettneresque miracle that was nowhere to be found. The first upset of the day was as dramatic as you (and the CBS executives) could have hoped for.

But the Rams' celebration turned out to be the end of the line for me. I took the dog out for a few minutes, and when I returned, the Doc had steered the remote towards Grey's Anatomy. I rallied for a few mintes of Wright State-Pitt, but my attention wandered and as I switched over to the Daily Show during a commercial break, I fought to stay awake, but it was all over.

Maybe it was all the excitement of so many local teams playing, the emotional highs and lows. Maybe it's the fact that I turned 40 a few weeks ago, and the sports TV marathon, like pickup basketball, is a young man's game. Or maybe, call me crazy, but just maybe, we aren't supposed to try to watch 12 hours of basketball in one day. Could be, I guess. I'm about two hours from giving it another shot though, so I'll let you know.

Who is Stephen Curry?

2007-03-15T16:01:00.000-04:00

That's the question every Division I major conference basketball coach whose team is not in the NCAA Tournament is asking right now after watching the freshman torch the Maryland Terrapins for 30 points in a valiant losing effort this afternon. Unfortunately for the assistant coaches, their bosses are also asking the inevitable followup, "Why is he at Davidson University?"

And it's a pretty good question. Every March, America learns the name of a very good player who escaped its notice all year because he doesn't play in one of the power conferences. Usually, he is a senior who was overlooked by the big names because he wasn't a high school star or he was injured or he was an academic or discipline risk. But Curry is a freshman and was a two-time All-State player at Charlotte Christian in North Carolina, where they do pay attention to basketball. And I don't think too many players with academic issues slip past the admissions office at Davidson.

Here's the best part though. His dad is Dell Curry, one of the best players in Virginia Tech history who had a solid career in the NBA. And yet none of the traditional powers could find a spot for this kid who did a pretty good Mike Bibby impression today. So, all you assistant coaches, in the words of Ricky Ricardo, "You got some 'splainin' to do."

Maryland, to its credit, took care of business in the second half today. Curry had five quick points to start the period, but D.J. Strawberry, with assists from Hayes and Vasquez, kept him in check as the Terps asserted themselves at both ends of the floor. Vasquez did a great job running the offensive show and Bambale Osby had several and-one opportunities in relief of Ibekwe, who was in foul trouble. The Wildcats had little offense other than three-point shots and the pace of the game took the legs out from under their long-range attempts.

Bottom line: excellent adjustment by Gary Willliams and his defense, and good leadership from Strawberry, Vasquez and Osby, but the Terps need to take better care of the ball (22 turnovers) to get to the Sweet 16.

Terps in Trouble

2007-03-15T13:21:00.000-04:00

Halftime, Maryland leads 44-43, and you would think this game is being played at the pace the Terps prefer, but Davidson seems very comfortable as well. The Wildcats are beating Maryland's press and have at least three guys on the floor who can shoot the three; they are 7-19. DJ Strawberry is carrying too much of the load on offense. Jones has two threes, but he took a long time to get going. Strawberry needs to find Stephen Curry, and guard him from end-to-end on every possession. Curry has the conscience and range of Gilbert Arenas. All five Maryland starters have two fouls. Will Gary Williams back off the press or will Maryland be able to wear out Davidson? Great start to the tourney, more later.

Ripost

2007-03-15T12:00:00.000-04:00

For all of you in disbelief over Sanjaya's survival on Idol last night, I believe I told you last week that Diana Ross would be his salvation. As far as the rest of the show, the big stage and the big diva songs were a bit too much for almost all the contestants. I know everyone likes Melinda and Lakisha, but I think this competition is more wide open than that. Neither of the two female favorites has shown an ability to get outside a certain comfort zone of songs, which could really hurt them down the stretch. Melinda needs to sing a song that people under the age of 40 would recognize and Lakisha needs to do more Gladys Knight and less Whitney Houston.

That's all for today. The NCAA Tournament beckons, and it's a sweet siren's song that I cannot resist. Maybe I'll do some pop-ins throughout the day. My picks today are Maryland, ODU, VCU, UCLA, UNC, MArquette, GW, Wright State, Texas Tech, Georgetown, Ohio State, Xavier, Louisivlle, and Texas A&M.

[ ] Post

2007-03-13T15:11:00.001-04:00

Okay, here's how I pick a bracket. First, I print out the form and fill it out with GW winning the National Championship. Next, I tear that one up and print out another one. This time, I am irrational, but not completely insane, about GW's prospects. I start by studying all the matchups in one region and meticulously pick the games down to the Final Four representative from that region. I move on to the next region, begin to study the next set of matchups, get bored and just scribble in names until the bracket is finished. I tend to favor the teams that I know, and the automatic bid teams over the bottom of the at-large pool, and you'll probably see a lot of names from the Local Poll moving through the bracket. I also go with teams that have good backcourts or a great player. Most of the time. I have never won a pool. I have never been close. I am pretty sure both of my children beat me last year. So here we go.

In the Midwest, I'll take Florida right up to the regional final where they will lose to Oregon, led by Bryce Taylor, the mightiest Duck since Donald and Daffy. Other upsets in this region include ODU over Butler and UNLV knocking out Wisconsin. Even though everyone wants to anoint Butler as this year's George Mason, ODU is a Local Poll team and I needed a couple upsets here. I'll make up for this rough treatment of the heartland teams in the West, where Kansas cruises to the Final Four over UCLA, despite some excitement provided by VCU and Wright State as they win their first round games and the Rams get the full George Mason treatment in advancing to the Sweet 16. Mostly favorites in the South except for one win for Xavier and Texas A&M dismissing my least favorite NCAA coach, John Calipari, and his Memphis Tigers. This pleases me so much that A&M also beats Ohio State in the regional final. Saving the most ridiculous for last, I have GW beating Georgetown to get to the Elite 8, where I regain my senses and have them losing to Texas, which beats UNC. Also Texas Tech over BC in the first round.

So that leaves a #1 (Kansas), a #2 (UCLA), a #3 (Texas A&M) and a #4 (Texas). I like a high-scoring but close final of Kansas over A&M, 86-83. Will it happen? Not a chance.

Poll First, Brackets Later

2007-03-12T11:27:00.000-04:00

First of all, a big shout out to Karl Hobbs and the George Washington University Colonials. Back in October, I interviewed Karl for some articles I was writing in the GW game program. I asked him if he was aware that the Colonials had never made three straight trips to the NCAA Tournament.

"Is that right?" he asked. "I did not know that. But it's a great goal."

The Colonials played ferocious defense in beating St. Joe, St. Louis and Rhode Island to win the A-10 tournament. Critics will note that St. Louis knocked out UMass, and URI took care of Xavier, but after a four-game losing streak a month ago, the Colonials have been on a tear, winning eight in a row. This one is especially sweet for senior point guard Carl Elliott, the only starter to return from last season's historic team, and fellow senior Dokun Akingbade, who came to GW as a walk-on and redshirted last season. Akingbade started 30 games this season and had 15 points and nine rebounds in the A-10 Championship game.

In bracket news, I have no sympathy for Syracuse. The Orange played exactly one nonconference road game this season, courageously venturing 150 miles west to play that notorious hoops powerhouse Canisius. Drexel, by comparison, went 6-2 in their noncon road games including wins at Villanova, Creighton and, yes, Syracuse. So, I don't care that 'Cuse went 10-6 in the Big East, they have to get in line behind Drexel to file a complaint. The guy I feel bad for is my friend Mike Tuberosa, who went to Syracuse and is now the Assistant AD at Drexel. But he did his graduate work at Niagara and worked at GW and Georgetown, so he's got a few horses in the race.

I'll have more bracket observations later in the week. After years of not picking brackets for no good reason, I did fill one out last year, and this year, it looks like I'll be in at least five pools. I will win none of them. I have trouble picking against my sentimental favorites and eventually I make my picks strictly for entertainment purposes, mostly my own. Speaking of my own entertianment, here is this week's Local Poll (Big Stein should have the full results up this afternoon):

1. Georgetown
I’d feel better about their title chances if they also had Michael Graham, Jr.
2. Maryland
Once again, the Terps get screwed because they have to play the conference tournament in a traditional ACC hotbed.
3. VCU
If the Rams beat Duke, the only person happier than head coach Anthony Grant might be his boss, VCU Athletic Director Norwood Teague, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, Class of 1987.
4. GW
I got your overachievers right here, pal!
5. Virginia Tech
Could not stop the NC State Wolfpack's determined march to the NIT.
6. Virginia
See Virginia Tech, above.
7. Old Dominion
Better not sit Blaine Taylor and Bruiser Flint next to each other at next year’s CAA Preseason Media Day Breakfast.
8. George Mason
Note to the GMU pep band: It’s been nearly a week now, it’s time to stop playing “Livin’ on a Prayer.”
9. Loyola
If it’s March on North Charles Street, that can mean only one thing … lacrosse season.
10. American
They come into your town, they’re gonna party down, they’re an American University.

Friday Fill 'Er Up Regular, Please

2007-03-09T12:16:00.000-05:00

Oh, where to begin ...

Okay let's start with Idol, hit some college hoops and see what else we have time for.

Idol
Big shocker on the elimination show last night and no one was more outraged than Paula Abdul, who was reduced to spluttering incoherence, as opposed to her usual fawning incoherence. Sundance was sent off into the sunset a little earlier than I expected, as were Sabrina and Jared, but none of them were going to win this thing anyway. Neither was Antonella, who also went home last night. As for the huge announcement that American Idol is going to help fight poverty in Africa and in the U.S., well, good for American Idol. My favorite part of the video they showed was when the little boy ran away from Ryan Seacreast; that boy is clearly wise beyond his years. Of course, if you are a sick and twisted individual like I am, when the village children's choir was singing for Simon, you were waiting for him to tell them how "ghaastly" their singing was. "And your outfits are harrible; they look like some sort of dreadful, ill-fitting school uniforms."

But enough of that. Tune in next week, as American Idol voters continue to befuddle the judges and rational people everywhere. By the way, if you think Sanjaya is gone next week, think again. It's Diana Ross Week. Hello, Fabulous!

Hoops
This is the real March Madness. So few teams have a real shot at winning the national championship, there is so much hype about just getting into the tournament, and when you add in the conference rivalries, you get some real drama. Yesterday, I watched the Terps fall flat on their faces against Miami (again) and after dinner, I saw an overtime ending in the A-10, a double-OT in the Big East, Duke losing in OT, and there were Pac-10 and Big 12 games as well.

And I watched a very ugly 58-48 GW win over St. Joe's. How ugly was it? 41 combined turnovers ugly. 34% combined shooting percentage ugly. St. Joe's got its 11th and final field goal of the game with two minutes to play in the game ugly. Now, that's a great defensive effort by the Colonials, but they almost didn't get enough from their offense to offset such a pathetic total by the Hawks. The Colonials led 33-21 at the start of the second half, scored four points in the next nine minutes and still led by six. It didn't get much better as the half went on. At one point, GW committed four straight turnovers, the last when Damien Hollis swung the ball around the perimeter with a crisply delivered chest pass right to the referee. The Hawks capitalized on this error with a brilliant bounce pass through a teammate's legs and out of bounds. And this wasn't one of those boring, Wisconsin-type games where the teams slow it down and grind it out; the ball was flying up and down the court, just not into the basket, which is still the object of the game.

So tonight the Colonials get St. Louis, whom they lost to on the road in the beginning of February. Like St. Joe, St. Louis likes to pound the ball inside. Last night, GW was able to put enough pressure on the perimeter to keep the Hawks from getting in the lane, and they need to replicate that performance, but they also need a better offensive output.

So here's the ACC question of the week: if Florida State gets to the final, does the ACC get eight bids? I hope not, so I guess Georgia Tech gets bounced. I would love to see Duke get left out, but who's kidding whom?

Movies
I mentioned earlier in the week that I took the kids to the movies. We saw Bridge to Terabithia, which was fine for them, so-so for me (salvaged mainly by the delightfully deliquescent Zooey Deschanel who plays the uberhip, Steve Earle-singing music teacher. The school employs her but has no art program at all? Okay, I guess I am nitpicking). I never read the book, so I can't compare - I think it's in that Madeline L'Engle, Ursula Le Guin, Anne McCaffrey sort of canon that never quite appealled to me like the Lord of the Rings or Conan or Piers Anthony did. Anyway, as the movie began, my younger son informed me that his friend told him that one of the female characters dies during the film. As the plot unfolded, we met several female characters, and as each one spoke, he turned to me and said, "I think she dies." Eventually, he was right.

What I really want to do here is provide a public service warning to all parents and tell you about the previews for all the movies that your kids will want to see in the coming months. First, we saw a very brief trailer for Underdog. This looks terrible, but wasn't the original cartoon pretty bad? I get it confused with Hong-Kong Phooey, which I think was much better. If you want Underdog-based entertianlment, take a look at this. Also, there is an animated Disney-Pixar joint called Meet the Robinsons which you'll be seeing whether you want to or not because the hype machine will be cranking up to DEFCON 1 over the next few weeks. Usually Disney kills off one of its young protagonist's parents, but they are upping the ante on this one and making him an orphan. Ice Cube returns to the screen for Are We Done Yet?, a sequel to Are We There Yet? "Did we see that one?" I asked my sons. "Yeah, it was hilarious." I remain skeptical. In the Cute Widdle Animal category, we have Firehouse Dog, about a superstar Hollywood pooch who is found by a young boy badly in need of some self-esteem. Piece of cake for this canine, who also saves people from burning buildings and solves the global warming crisis. I'm sure there were others, but I may have missed them in the aftermath of a tragic nachos incident.

Enjoy your weekend.